(no subject)
well i dont quite remember what i wrote in my last update..but tonight alot has changed..i broke up with nick..it was hard and i cried alot..but i just feel like right now were both too selfish and focused elsewhere to be in a relationship..i hated to do it..cause its not that i dont love him..i love him whole bunches..but i just dont want to be with anyone right now..i have alot of shit on me..and i feel like not enough of my attention is on the relationship..what hurt though is when he didnt get upset he said he understood..but he also told me that he prolly cant be friends with me..and that when i finally get my shit together i cant go back to him..cause he cant be with me knowing that ive been with someone else..even though i told him im not going to be with anyone..why would i be with someone after breaking up w someone because i dont want to be with anyone??but i respect that and understand that..i feel bad..but i understand..it still hurts though..if only i had got my shit together back when i got out of the hospital id be fine now and me and nick would be together..hmmm..well i think my friend crystal is psychic cause right after he pulled out of the driveway she pulled up and asked if i wanted to do anything..oh yeah..and the end of the breakup went like this..we told each other that we loved each other gave each other a hug and kiss and he told me that he would see me later.. :( he told me that in a week hell tell me whether or not he can be my friend..so i hope he can..but like i said if he cant ill understand..but itll hurt like a bitch!!well im off for now..later