Emotional Mess!
Haven't posted in a few days, and my mind has been going through a lot in the last few days.
Anywho, things with the roommie have been interesting. We did a disney day on thrusday, and i was soooooo tired from lack of sleep the night before. It was an interesting night being i wasn't sure what his deal was and if he was coming home or not. But hey, its whatever.
Recent events led to us having a discussion lasting till 6am yesterday. We cleared a lot, and got a lot of feelings out of our systems. It was actually really nice. Love the roommie dearly, and its always great when we are honest with each other about stuff. I hate animosity between us.
The show has been going well, and i am having bittersweet feelings about closing which is now. I'll miss doing Too Darn Hot with these people. But im also ready for my next journey.
So, today i have been in an interesting place. Its funny, because Justin tweeted yesterday that he was feeling a little left out. And today thats kind of where i was. Yesterday Calvin was with S a lot, and i guess i was with J too, so justin was a little left out. J and i had another good discussion about us and things, and im definitely catching feelings again. I even did something at the end i probably shouldn't have, but i really wanted to, and just went for it.
This entry is in pieces cuz its written during the course of the last performance of KMK. But just go off from Too Darn Hot! Not the best closing of it, but i will really miss performing that number. We had a blast though, people were just silly and crazy!
Back to before, yesterday was going really well. Just in a really good place. Especially since the day before i was feeling pretty shitty.
But yeah, so today. It has just been a weird day for me. I guess it has to do with J. Not saying anything is wrong, but just been noticing things that has been interesting to me. Today, it seems like all J's energy is focused into Justin. This morning i got one word responses to text, but J called Justin right after with all kinds of energy. And when we actually met, i get a side hug, while Justin and Calvin get super bear hugs. Then the rest of the day has been all about Justin it feels. Kinda been feeling left out of conversations and such today. So ive been mostly to myself. At one point, the 3 of us were in the dressing room, and i kinda was just like umm, i guess i'll go and see whats happening elsewhere cuz i was feeling a littel excluded. But whatever, I'm sure its nothing, but just kinda felt weird like J was slightly irritated with me or something. But like i said, im sure its nothing, and J probably didn't even realize where all the energy was focused, so as usual im probably being retarded.
But yeah, things are fine now, that was all during the first show and between shows. During the course of the second show, things have been fine and back to normal it feels, so i'm not trippin about anything.
Just wishing my last performance of TDH went better, i cracked, messed up my lyrics, and was fighting to pull energy from somewhere.
But yeah, Sara makes me laugh. I love that silly girl. When i was crappy the other day dealing with things about comments I got about the show, and things with the roommie, she straightened me out. And she made me see deeper into things than i realized with the whole roommie situation. She knew exactly how i felt, and even told me how i felt about things, because she went through the same thing with Ryan. It was nice to know that i wasn't stupid for feeling the way i did, especially since after saying some things out loud, it sounded soooooo stupid! But yeah, she has also been hounding me about things with J. She gets more excited about it than i do, lol. She wants it to happen so bad. And im like, its just where it needs to be right now, lol.
Anywho, im out of thoughts, and everyone in the dressing room is all in my business, so i am done for now. Until later, haha.
Cast Party tonight! Lets see if these people get crazy!
~Keenon~
Anywho, things with the roommie have been interesting. We did a disney day on thrusday, and i was soooooo tired from lack of sleep the night before. It was an interesting night being i wasn't sure what his deal was and if he was coming home or not. But hey, its whatever.
Recent events led to us having a discussion lasting till 6am yesterday. We cleared a lot, and got a lot of feelings out of our systems. It was actually really nice. Love the roommie dearly, and its always great when we are honest with each other about stuff. I hate animosity between us.
The show has been going well, and i am having bittersweet feelings about closing which is now. I'll miss doing Too Darn Hot with these people. But im also ready for my next journey.
So, today i have been in an interesting place. Its funny, because Justin tweeted yesterday that he was feeling a little left out. And today thats kind of where i was. Yesterday Calvin was with S a lot, and i guess i was with J too, so justin was a little left out. J and i had another good discussion about us and things, and im definitely catching feelings again. I even did something at the end i probably shouldn't have, but i really wanted to, and just went for it.
This entry is in pieces cuz its written during the course of the last performance of KMK. But just go off from Too Darn Hot! Not the best closing of it, but i will really miss performing that number. We had a blast though, people were just silly and crazy!
Back to before, yesterday was going really well. Just in a really good place. Especially since the day before i was feeling pretty shitty.
But yeah, so today. It has just been a weird day for me. I guess it has to do with J. Not saying anything is wrong, but just been noticing things that has been interesting to me. Today, it seems like all J's energy is focused into Justin. This morning i got one word responses to text, but J called Justin right after with all kinds of energy. And when we actually met, i get a side hug, while Justin and Calvin get super bear hugs. Then the rest of the day has been all about Justin it feels. Kinda been feeling left out of conversations and such today. So ive been mostly to myself. At one point, the 3 of us were in the dressing room, and i kinda was just like umm, i guess i'll go and see whats happening elsewhere cuz i was feeling a littel excluded. But whatever, I'm sure its nothing, but just kinda felt weird like J was slightly irritated with me or something. But like i said, im sure its nothing, and J probably didn't even realize where all the energy was focused, so as usual im probably being retarded.
But yeah, things are fine now, that was all during the first show and between shows. During the course of the second show, things have been fine and back to normal it feels, so i'm not trippin about anything.
Just wishing my last performance of TDH went better, i cracked, messed up my lyrics, and was fighting to pull energy from somewhere.
But yeah, Sara makes me laugh. I love that silly girl. When i was crappy the other day dealing with things about comments I got about the show, and things with the roommie, she straightened me out. And she made me see deeper into things than i realized with the whole roommie situation. She knew exactly how i felt, and even told me how i felt about things, because she went through the same thing with Ryan. It was nice to know that i wasn't stupid for feeling the way i did, especially since after saying some things out loud, it sounded soooooo stupid! But yeah, she has also been hounding me about things with J. She gets more excited about it than i do, lol. She wants it to happen so bad. And im like, its just where it needs to be right now, lol.
Anywho, im out of thoughts, and everyone in the dressing room is all in my business, so i am done for now. Until later, haha.
Cast Party tonight! Lets see if these people get crazy!
~Keenon~