Decisions
So i was going to journal tonight, but then had a convo with J, so i didnt need to, but now im flustered again.
First off, today was a chill day. The roommie came home and came straight into my room to chill, and that was really nice. Though still texting the person he just left and falling asleep, it was a nice effort, lol. Eventually we went and got pizza and then watched The Great Mouse Detective, followed by catching up on the last 2 glee episodes we had missed. They were pretty cool.
by this time we kinda started to go on about our own business and i soon had to head out to rehearsal. Rehearsal was chill, then i came back home to the roommie and the misses. No they are not together, but anyone who spends as much time together as they do, do the things they do, and text whenever they are not together, its something. so the misses, lol.
I got into an interesting place about a few things, and i was going to journal about where i stood with my life and relationships, and also how i honestly felt about the roomie and the new misses and how that affected me.
But that whole thought shifted while talking to J about it. I was saying how i felt about some things, and that i wasn't too affected by it. But i was told that i was and for a different reason than i was thinking. And you know what? Its a little true, but not completely.
Basically, my thing was I was a lil jealous. I miss having someone around that i could hold, cuddle, make out, etc with and all. So yeah, im used to dealing with roommates and their relationships but sitting alone in my room. And tonight reminded me a lot of that. So yeah, i was a little jealous. But J thinks im affected because she is stealing my friend from me. That is a yes and no thing. I will never loose Calvin. I know that, but like mentioned earlier in other entries, the sharing factor is back on. All his energy lately is towards her. He comes when she calls, and they text all day, even when they just left each other. J asked me a valid question, and i was shocked by the answer, or lack there of. I was asked "when is the last time you guys got to chill or hang out one day and there were no phones involved?" i could not answer that question. Even today, sure we watched the movie for the most part together, but all of glee he was texting, and probably her. But still, i could not answer that question. So yeah, maybe i do feel that way a little. But not in the way J made it seem.
So that changed my thoughts on everything completely. But iono...
Now, what i really wanted to journal about was J. We had a really important discussion tonight. And i am really confused now...
I got some news about a possible gig a year away from now. And i shared it with J to see the results. Very interesting indeed. The thing is, its possible we may get back together, which is why i brought up this gig tonight, because when i was informed, J was the first thing that popped into my head. In our last discussion, i discovered that J does not do long distance well. So that could be a huge problem, especially with my career choice. So how does one juggle that?
If we did get back together, things like that would be rough. And how do you pick gigs over relationships, when the other can't handle certain distances. Of course they say you have to do you and go for your dreams, but what if you want them to be a part of your dreams too?
aye yae yae........
soooooo flusterd about that. We aren't even anything, but its still something i would have to worry about with anyone probably.
im done for now, i need to try and sleep. it will be a long day tomorrow. maybe more on this tomorrow.
Nite.
~Keenon~
First off, today was a chill day. The roommie came home and came straight into my room to chill, and that was really nice. Though still texting the person he just left and falling asleep, it was a nice effort, lol. Eventually we went and got pizza and then watched The Great Mouse Detective, followed by catching up on the last 2 glee episodes we had missed. They were pretty cool.
by this time we kinda started to go on about our own business and i soon had to head out to rehearsal. Rehearsal was chill, then i came back home to the roommie and the misses. No they are not together, but anyone who spends as much time together as they do, do the things they do, and text whenever they are not together, its something. so the misses, lol.
I got into an interesting place about a few things, and i was going to journal about where i stood with my life and relationships, and also how i honestly felt about the roomie and the new misses and how that affected me.
But that whole thought shifted while talking to J about it. I was saying how i felt about some things, and that i wasn't too affected by it. But i was told that i was and for a different reason than i was thinking. And you know what? Its a little true, but not completely.
Basically, my thing was I was a lil jealous. I miss having someone around that i could hold, cuddle, make out, etc with and all. So yeah, im used to dealing with roommates and their relationships but sitting alone in my room. And tonight reminded me a lot of that. So yeah, i was a little jealous. But J thinks im affected because she is stealing my friend from me. That is a yes and no thing. I will never loose Calvin. I know that, but like mentioned earlier in other entries, the sharing factor is back on. All his energy lately is towards her. He comes when she calls, and they text all day, even when they just left each other. J asked me a valid question, and i was shocked by the answer, or lack there of. I was asked "when is the last time you guys got to chill or hang out one day and there were no phones involved?" i could not answer that question. Even today, sure we watched the movie for the most part together, but all of glee he was texting, and probably her. But still, i could not answer that question. So yeah, maybe i do feel that way a little. But not in the way J made it seem.
So that changed my thoughts on everything completely. But iono...
Now, what i really wanted to journal about was J. We had a really important discussion tonight. And i am really confused now...
I got some news about a possible gig a year away from now. And i shared it with J to see the results. Very interesting indeed. The thing is, its possible we may get back together, which is why i brought up this gig tonight, because when i was informed, J was the first thing that popped into my head. In our last discussion, i discovered that J does not do long distance well. So that could be a huge problem, especially with my career choice. So how does one juggle that?
If we did get back together, things like that would be rough. And how do you pick gigs over relationships, when the other can't handle certain distances. Of course they say you have to do you and go for your dreams, but what if you want them to be a part of your dreams too?
aye yae yae........
soooooo flusterd about that. We aren't even anything, but its still something i would have to worry about with anyone probably.
im done for now, i need to try and sleep. it will be a long day tomorrow. maybe more on this tomorrow.
Nite.
~Keenon~