showering twice a day makes you feel more feminine:
I wait for my next class to start. ellensburg is hot and windy.
yakima is balmy and hot and tired.
i did not hunt for gooeyducks (geoducks) this year for the fourth. no lost glasses in the yard, sand under my nails, pikachu, or dock. i felt sorry for myself most of the day and then, later, justin came over and we watched the fireworks from the back fire escape. i've never been here on the fourth. it was exactly how it should be.
I don't like school but don't know if this is because I've already decided not to like it, or deep down, I just plain don't.
I'm ok for a little while now, I am optimistic and scared of the coming back down.
I've been trying to turn this sticky recyling heavy page of depression for a long time now, with some success. counseling seems to have helped, but I don't know if it is merely the passing of time, or maybe people saying yes to me when I need them to.
I am trying to move and don't want to. nowhere has coved ceilings and glass doorknobs and ivy on the kitchen window, but it's getting too dangerous to live here, too many police reports, and too much broken glass. tell me if you see a cheap apartment for rent with the right kind of windows. fuck fuck fuck
I've been writing again, because I have had to, for a class, and it's been good to get this heavy wheel turning again. I'm writing differently and don't like it as much, but it's all i've got. I won't write the very serious stuff about being all diced up and a poor quality person.
I'm ready for things to start going right and I'm ready for me to be able to notice them. so far, i've had a few good small moments.
soon I'll have a month and a half off of school and I am hoping that the winds will change.
I am building with very small stones.
yakima is balmy and hot and tired.
i did not hunt for gooeyducks (geoducks) this year for the fourth. no lost glasses in the yard, sand under my nails, pikachu, or dock. i felt sorry for myself most of the day and then, later, justin came over and we watched the fireworks from the back fire escape. i've never been here on the fourth. it was exactly how it should be.
I don't like school but don't know if this is because I've already decided not to like it, or deep down, I just plain don't.
I'm ok for a little while now, I am optimistic and scared of the coming back down.
I've been trying to turn this sticky recyling heavy page of depression for a long time now, with some success. counseling seems to have helped, but I don't know if it is merely the passing of time, or maybe people saying yes to me when I need them to.
I am trying to move and don't want to. nowhere has coved ceilings and glass doorknobs and ivy on the kitchen window, but it's getting too dangerous to live here, too many police reports, and too much broken glass. tell me if you see a cheap apartment for rent with the right kind of windows. fuck fuck fuck
I've been writing again, because I have had to, for a class, and it's been good to get this heavy wheel turning again. I'm writing differently and don't like it as much, but it's all i've got. I won't write the very serious stuff about being all diced up and a poor quality person.
I'm ready for things to start going right and I'm ready for me to be able to notice them. so far, i've had a few good small moments.
soon I'll have a month and a half off of school and I am hoping that the winds will change.
I am building with very small stones.