Thank You
Dear FLIST,
The following is probably going to get a little rambley but its important for the future of my LJ slash just to me in general so please read =]
i was originally going to post this tomorrow or possibly during the day wednesday at some point but i'll be doing some last minute packing both days and doing goodbyes cya laters tomorrow with Tony and Jeff soo time i shall has none compared to the time i have now haha xD Right soo college. omg i move in Thursday soo i probs wont be online at all that day, maybe during the night a bit but most likely not at all haha. i may update some tweets from my fone WHICH i will also be turning on txt alerts for(...sorry but it wont be for my friends i love you all but if have alerts on for a bunch of you guys and amanda rda ryro agam and all the other peeps well....thatd probably blow up my phone since ya'll tweet so much lololol)
and thats pretty much how its probably going to be for the rest of well....long time. which saddens me. i know that i was around a lot even though i was in school this past year or so, but i wont be able to get on randomly during class and will really have to focus on my studies during whatever free time i have. my gpa has to be a certain amt if i want to keep my very nice $19,000 scholarship AND if i want to eventually study abroad (hopefully in Deutschland! xD awesome6 that was for youu <3) soo i have to try in school for change...should be interesting when i put effort into my school haha. plus once i graduate i get to strip for a living over in Vancouver in the fangirl house strip joint...[/joking around]
in all seriousness i have some seriously mixed feelings. i am so freaking pumped for this. the rest of my lfie is finally about to begin. when i graduated middle school my spanish teacher from the past two years wrote in my yearbook (in spanish but im translating obvs =p): "Since the first day of class in 7th grade i have known that you were ready to move on to highschool and then college..." so basically ive been waiting FOREVERR for this day. and omg its here! i get to go and major in poetry and just have the amazing experience that is going to be college. I am so ready and just aldsfkmldsfkn!!! i am specifically not touching the caps lock cuz otherwise everything in this past paragraph would be in caps and you'd all be like "omgg *headdesk* shut uppp" hehe.
while i feel all that excitement i have two things i dont like that come with it(omg im so obsessed with 3 6&9 that my mind tried to make a third just so itd be three not two omfg xD). First of all is Jeff. I see him tomorrow. SO NOT READY! he texted me today and as much as my heart soared that he texted me about it and meant he really wanted to say goodbye etc etc my gut twisted and i nearly started crying txting with him. So basically super mega cryfest tomorrow that i cannot comprehend
Secondly, so not ok with me that i shall have time cut out of my online time. aka LESS TIME WITH YOU MY ONLINE LOVERSS.....*re-reads giggles and leaves it*.....You all have been so freaking wonderful. Ive only really delved into this world last november on gateworld and not only eventually found my way to twitter and thus here and just omg. *sobs* You guys are full of fucking awesomeness. and i mean that. I've come to love myself better because of the love and acceptance i have found here, and i know how sappy that sounds but you have understand. i have spent a really long time hating myself and destroying myself through cutting drinking drunk sex not eating suicide attempts and just yeah. its really taken me a long time to like myself even a little and now im so happy with who i am. i love who i am. And i would not be who i am or comfortable with who i am without you people. Meeting the lot of you in Vancouver, amazing. best weekend of my life SG14 always!!! And theres the group of you i havent even met yet!!! Team awesome!!! awesome2 and awesome4 loves you always ahh!!! and the bartender in my stripclub!!! and ALL OF YOU!!! seriously just each and everyone of you. i will love you for ever and always. i owe you so much. and so much to Jonathon Young for bringing me to this place and to you all and just
THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING I LOVE YOU ALL FOREVER AND EVER!!!!
So yeah. I'm off to Uni. I'm going to do my best to pop in from time to time. I more likely than not will be on twitter more than here which sucks cuz i'll miss any shiny art your guys post or awesome gutter stories (save links and show me later maybe? hehehe :P) and i'll be out of the loop as to whats up in your lives.
Miss you, love you, you'll always be in my thoughts.
Love always <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Me