Steubenville and Gomorrah (Genesis 18: 20-33)
[20] Then the LORD said, “The outcry against Steubenville and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous [21] they are literally going to make me come down there.”
[22] God’s entourage then turned away and went toward Steubenville to set it on fire, but Abraham remained standing before the LORD. [23] Then Abraham approached God and said: “Oy! They can’t ALL be bad! Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? [24] What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really shitcan it and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? [25] How twink of you-to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. WTF! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”
[26] The LORD said, “Fine. Find me one person.”
And Abraham said, “Surely there is more than one! Even a small community of the righteous. But sure, let us find one. Say, if the coach of the football team did not enable this act, then you should spare the whole place for his sake.” But God found to the contrary: Big Red did not even bench the rapists.
So Abraham spoke up again: “Surely the chief Pharisee, the executor of the law, will be on the side of justice. If he is righteous, then you should spare the whole place for his sake.” But God found to the contrary: The county Sheriff profited from illegal betting on the football team, and so he let the case sit.
Once again Abraham spoke, “Let us look then to the Law In The Home. Surely, the parents involved will seek justice and transparency.” But God found to the contrary: One of the crime sites was the house of one perpetrator’s mother. She was the prosecuting attorney for this County and used her privilege to shield him from my wrath. His father is a former principal of Steubenville High, where he played football.
Yet again Abraham spoke, saying, "There has to have been someone! Someone who saw the evil being done, a witness, who spoke up and tried to stop it!" But there was no one. "Someone who at least condemned their choices?" And God didst fast forward through the videotaped heckling of the latest victim to minute 8 second 44, where someone off camera declares that mocking a passed out rape survivor is "not cool". "That is all?" asked Abraham.
And Abraham was abashed. But he rallied and said, "Look to the courts! In the end the perpetrators of these crimes were sentenced! Your will is done!"
And God didst show Abraham The Tee Vee and The Internets, and the rape apologism goings thereon.
Then Abraham was disgusted and didst give up, and said, "Burn it. Burn it all."
And God didst nuke the site from orbit. For it was the only way to be sure.
[22] God’s entourage then turned away and went toward Steubenville to set it on fire, but Abraham remained standing before the LORD. [23] Then Abraham approached God and said: “Oy! They can’t ALL be bad! Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? [24] What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really shitcan it and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? [25] How twink of you-to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. WTF! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”
[26] The LORD said, “Fine. Find me one person.”
And Abraham said, “Surely there is more than one! Even a small community of the righteous. But sure, let us find one. Say, if the coach of the football team did not enable this act, then you should spare the whole place for his sake.” But God found to the contrary: Big Red did not even bench the rapists.
So Abraham spoke up again: “Surely the chief Pharisee, the executor of the law, will be on the side of justice. If he is righteous, then you should spare the whole place for his sake.” But God found to the contrary: The county Sheriff profited from illegal betting on the football team, and so he let the case sit.
Once again Abraham spoke, “Let us look then to the Law In The Home. Surely, the parents involved will seek justice and transparency.” But God found to the contrary: One of the crime sites was the house of one perpetrator’s mother. She was the prosecuting attorney for this County and used her privilege to shield him from my wrath. His father is a former principal of Steubenville High, where he played football.
Yet again Abraham spoke, saying, "There has to have been someone! Someone who saw the evil being done, a witness, who spoke up and tried to stop it!" But there was no one. "Someone who at least condemned their choices?" And God didst fast forward through the videotaped heckling of the latest victim to minute 8 second 44, where someone off camera declares that mocking a passed out rape survivor is "not cool". "That is all?" asked Abraham.
And Abraham was abashed. But he rallied and said, "Look to the courts! In the end the perpetrators of these crimes were sentenced! Your will is done!"
And God didst show Abraham The Tee Vee and The Internets, and the rape apologism goings thereon.
Then Abraham was disgusted and didst give up, and said, "Burn it. Burn it all."
And God didst nuke the site from orbit. For it was the only way to be sure.