We all go crazy sometimes
So i know i haven't written in a while, and the reason i'm writing today is because i'm going crazy. Really. And the worst part is that i am watching myself do it, and i can't stop it!
For some reason, at this point in my life i feel so f*cking lonely! And i can't stop it. The only people that hit on me are people i work with (almost everyone i work with is over 40). I've been trying to fill my empty void by constantly surrounding myself with friends.
"sat with friends in crowded rooms, feeling so alone."
Nothings working. One of the guys that hits on me at work, has proved himself to be a pretty cool guy. Very gentlemen-like, and sweet, ... probably cause he's 42. The problem is that all the time i've worked with him he has flirted with me and asked me out and i just laughed it off and joked with him... but this weekend i actually went up to his house and hung out and had a blast! His house is beautiful, and an awesome view with a hot tub on the deck. And here comes the mentalness of it all. Today, i found myself crushing on him. Its so weird, and i know that my brain is only doing this because of how "lonely" i've convinced myself i am. Or maybe its because i just know that a relationship between us would never work out so it would be almost like a challenge. I want to call him, and go out with him, but fortunatly-or-unfortunatly, i still cant see myself making out with him. I'm simply feeding off the compliments and nice gestures he does for me, and thinking how awesome it would be if he were closer to my age and more attractive. i'm going crazy, starting to think it would be a fun fling to date him for a bit...
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! Somebody save me!!!
For some reason, at this point in my life i feel so f*cking lonely! And i can't stop it. The only people that hit on me are people i work with (almost everyone i work with is over 40). I've been trying to fill my empty void by constantly surrounding myself with friends.
"sat with friends in crowded rooms, feeling so alone."
Nothings working. One of the guys that hits on me at work, has proved himself to be a pretty cool guy. Very gentlemen-like, and sweet, ... probably cause he's 42. The problem is that all the time i've worked with him he has flirted with me and asked me out and i just laughed it off and joked with him... but this weekend i actually went up to his house and hung out and had a blast! His house is beautiful, and an awesome view with a hot tub on the deck. And here comes the mentalness of it all. Today, i found myself crushing on him. Its so weird, and i know that my brain is only doing this because of how "lonely" i've convinced myself i am. Or maybe its because i just know that a relationship between us would never work out so it would be almost like a challenge. I want to call him, and go out with him, but fortunatly-or-unfortunatly, i still cant see myself making out with him. I'm simply feeding off the compliments and nice gestures he does for me, and thinking how awesome it would be if he were closer to my age and more attractive. i'm going crazy, starting to think it would be a fun fling to date him for a bit...
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! Somebody save me!!!