Thoughts
Hey everybody, it's me again.
So as many may have heard, I finished my Reed thesis. It was pretty awesome. I wasn't sure I could do it in one semester, and pulling it off felt like a real accomplishment. I couldn't have done it without the support of all my wonderful friends. As much as I just want to enjoy this moment in my life, it's kind of hard not to acknowledge that now I'm looking at a much bigger wall I've got to climb (or bust through, depending how the metaphor plays out). It's time to start looking for my first real television job, and to start planning my move to LA. I've realized over the past semester just how much I love everyone here and how much I'm going to miss them, but I can't let that stop me from going.
One of the things that sucks about telling people that you want to write for television is watching them try not to say "Jesus, good luck with that." Thanks to the rules of casual conversation, neither of us can acknowledge that there's basically a 99% chance that I'm not going to be able to pull it off, and I'll eventually have to choose to do something else with my life. It would be rude of them to acknowledge that reality, and I certainly can't be acknowledging it every time it comes up or it might be too hard to keep going. The amount I could change the world if I manage to hit that one percent is worth all the chance of failure, however bad it is. But I can't fight as hard as I need to unless I lie to myself and pretend that I know that it's going to happen. When I talk about it, people look at me like I'm deluding myself, which wouldn't bother me except I am.
Really though, things are great. I love my life, I love my friends, I love the world. I love being done with my thesis, and I love that I'll never truly be done with it. I love writing, even if nothing ever comes of it. I love driving through the desert with music blasting. Life really is glorious. I just have to remind myself that it's the things that keep me up worrying all night that drive me to do what I have to do.
So as many may have heard, I finished my Reed thesis. It was pretty awesome. I wasn't sure I could do it in one semester, and pulling it off felt like a real accomplishment. I couldn't have done it without the support of all my wonderful friends. As much as I just want to enjoy this moment in my life, it's kind of hard not to acknowledge that now I'm looking at a much bigger wall I've got to climb (or bust through, depending how the metaphor plays out). It's time to start looking for my first real television job, and to start planning my move to LA. I've realized over the past semester just how much I love everyone here and how much I'm going to miss them, but I can't let that stop me from going.
One of the things that sucks about telling people that you want to write for television is watching them try not to say "Jesus, good luck with that." Thanks to the rules of casual conversation, neither of us can acknowledge that there's basically a 99% chance that I'm not going to be able to pull it off, and I'll eventually have to choose to do something else with my life. It would be rude of them to acknowledge that reality, and I certainly can't be acknowledging it every time it comes up or it might be too hard to keep going. The amount I could change the world if I manage to hit that one percent is worth all the chance of failure, however bad it is. But I can't fight as hard as I need to unless I lie to myself and pretend that I know that it's going to happen. When I talk about it, people look at me like I'm deluding myself, which wouldn't bother me except I am.
Really though, things are great. I love my life, I love my friends, I love the world. I love being done with my thesis, and I love that I'll never truly be done with it. I love writing, even if nothing ever comes of it. I love driving through the desert with music blasting. Life really is glorious. I just have to remind myself that it's the things that keep me up worrying all night that drive me to do what I have to do.