this is just a ramble, heed the warnings.
saddle up, complaining is go: so the only thing i really wanted to do this weekend was go to church out in town. when i woke up i cursed the clouds because it was snowing and i diddnt really factor that into my getting to church on time plans. so instead of a shower and a shave and a get out the door, i sat around and tried to find out if church was cancelled, then i tried to call a cab, and he diddnt pick up, and i told myself i wasnt about to walk 15 minutes to my car. so i did some quick math and discovered that at best i would get to service 30 minutes late, so i just went back to sleep watching the blanket fall. in all actuality (word?) i should have just gone to bed and woken up soooner instead of staying up and waking up late. truth is i was bored out of my gourd all weekend so i just spent most of it downloading cool free songs from ipodlounge.com (thanks dave). i've come to the realization that this is going to be the forgotten semester. there is nothing really to speak of that will happen of noteworthiness, my classes are moderate in difficulty, which means that they should be no problem compared to last semester, which should mean that my grades should be up considerably, but what will happen is what always happens and that is that i will just put forth the effort required to perpetuate being a b student.
meanwhile i have been trying to make an effort (i guess that is how all efforts are made) to develop a stronger walk. i have been reading the gospels and post gospels simultaneously, in an effort to read more at a time, and it turns out that that is a cool thing to do because they coordinate so well. they reference each other more than i ever knew. that is beside the point though. what it seems like is happening is that scene in vanilla sky where he finally calls that girl back after his face smash and says, "well its me, im finally back in your life, and i cant wait to see you again." or something... only she has moved on and is kinda creeped out. i know that is not the case for me, but i still have a long way to go. but that is pretty much the point. work in progress. a minister (or preacher i guess) from a baptist church out in town came to BSU this past week and made a ton of great points, i really liked his message, challenging but relatable. anywho he talked about how in the past he has asked if anyone in the room considers themselves a mature christian, and one or two people raise their hands, and he made the point that if you have a pulse, you havnt matured as a christian. as long as you are still breathing, you have room to improve. another thing he said that i actually liked was that growing up somebody challenged him by asking him "what he did", and no matter how hard he tried, he could only define himself as a person by what he diddnt do, rather than what he did. i get the feeling i could fall into the same kinda trap if i were to describe myself or my christianity. i could describe my morals merely by what i choose not to do, rather than things i do or things ive done to further God's will. convictions are important but the fruit is paramount. this goes back to one of my friends saying to me "oh i diddnt know you were religious." this was halfway through soft-more year. i would have rather he just punched me in the face. that was a hard realization to face, that this guy did not know me because people know you by your fruit, (ie me none) but that was the turning point, just going to a bible study at lunch and me saying, oh hey i wont be at lunch - oh, why not - bible study - oh i diddnt know... ok well i forgot where i was going with this. maybe im already there. basically im making more of an effort to know God and i can see a difference but there is more snow to be plowed.
moving on... speaking of snow, i just had to make a pretty good snow mix today. i thought about calling it sublimated h20, or crystaline precipitation, but quickly realized how lame that sounded. anywyas, it mostly consisted of instrumentals like GYBE! and sigur, explosions in the sky and mercury prog., but newbies included sufjan stevens and arcade fire, (which im backin by the way kev). also in high rotation lately is interpol(which is weird cause i used to not back em), futureheads, minus the bear, and kings of convenience (never heard of em but a friend burned em for me and they are real good mellowish stuff.)
for what its worth, to recap, God will continue to be good, my rambles dont make sense, my weekend sucked i guess, but i got a lot of sleep and some new music to boot.
-caseyout
meanwhile i have been trying to make an effort (i guess that is how all efforts are made) to develop a stronger walk. i have been reading the gospels and post gospels simultaneously, in an effort to read more at a time, and it turns out that that is a cool thing to do because they coordinate so well. they reference each other more than i ever knew. that is beside the point though. what it seems like is happening is that scene in vanilla sky where he finally calls that girl back after his face smash and says, "well its me, im finally back in your life, and i cant wait to see you again." or something... only she has moved on and is kinda creeped out. i know that is not the case for me, but i still have a long way to go. but that is pretty much the point. work in progress. a minister (or preacher i guess) from a baptist church out in town came to BSU this past week and made a ton of great points, i really liked his message, challenging but relatable. anywho he talked about how in the past he has asked if anyone in the room considers themselves a mature christian, and one or two people raise their hands, and he made the point that if you have a pulse, you havnt matured as a christian. as long as you are still breathing, you have room to improve. another thing he said that i actually liked was that growing up somebody challenged him by asking him "what he did", and no matter how hard he tried, he could only define himself as a person by what he diddnt do, rather than what he did. i get the feeling i could fall into the same kinda trap if i were to describe myself or my christianity. i could describe my morals merely by what i choose not to do, rather than things i do or things ive done to further God's will. convictions are important but the fruit is paramount. this goes back to one of my friends saying to me "oh i diddnt know you were religious." this was halfway through soft-more year. i would have rather he just punched me in the face. that was a hard realization to face, that this guy did not know me because people know you by your fruit, (ie me none) but that was the turning point, just going to a bible study at lunch and me saying, oh hey i wont be at lunch - oh, why not - bible study - oh i diddnt know... ok well i forgot where i was going with this. maybe im already there. basically im making more of an effort to know God and i can see a difference but there is more snow to be plowed.
moving on... speaking of snow, i just had to make a pretty good snow mix today. i thought about calling it sublimated h20, or crystaline precipitation, but quickly realized how lame that sounded. anywyas, it mostly consisted of instrumentals like GYBE! and sigur, explosions in the sky and mercury prog., but newbies included sufjan stevens and arcade fire, (which im backin by the way kev). also in high rotation lately is interpol(which is weird cause i used to not back em), futureheads, minus the bear, and kings of convenience (never heard of em but a friend burned em for me and they are real good mellowish stuff.)
for what its worth, to recap, God will continue to be good, my rambles dont make sense, my weekend sucked i guess, but i got a lot of sleep and some new music to boot.
-caseyout