Memoirs of an assassin... sort of.
So, for the past week or so, I've been involved in a game run by the university Assassin's Guild. For those who haven't heard of the game, it involves being given a list of names and addresses of targets which you should use to track them down and 'kill' them (read: poke with an item of stationery or squirt with a water pistol). There are plenty of interesting nuances as well, as the rules show.
The whole thing isn't just great fun, but also one hell of a learning experience. Being caught in the middle of something like that really shows you first-hand what happens when so many people all have goals that are mutually exclusive to each other; not to mention that it gives you good training in lying low.
It's also a great excuse to bluff outrageously and lie through your teeth the whole time and not feel bad about it. :)
I do highly recommend the game to everyone reading this, if you do get a chance to play. You may have to (quite fittingly) physically track down the society president like me to do so, but it's well worth it.
Anyway, it so happens that for every kill that I was somehow involved in I wrote a small account to send to the umpire. They also seem like good journal material however, so I've decided to post them here.
The following is the game as seen through the eyes of one 'Ryuzaki'. Names have been changed out of respect for the dead. :P
Ryuzaki seemed to have missed his mark, and surveyed the scene one last time before giving up. His eyes caught on the last person to leave the building: someone who just happened to match the description. With his trusty blade disguised as a common ruler, he approached as quietly as possible for a close quarters kill.
"Rajiv?". Caught off guard, the target turned in a harmly inquisitive manner, and was only facing his assailant by the time that it was well and truly over. "Stab."
Despite the fact that it didn't seem much of a consolation, Ryuzaki apologised to the recently deceased whose plans had been so abruptly and decisively foiled, and turned to leave without missing a beat.
RAJIV PRAMESH: KILLED BY RYUZAKI, 12 NOON, MONDAY 22ND OCTOBER
The gun was on the table. Ravi had noticed that it was leaking hazardous Dihydrogen Monoxide over the interior of his pocket some time ago, and had placed it there after drawing it in fairly plain sight.
Ryuzaki, who happened to be sitting across the table from him, had considered letting it go, but it was just too big of an opportunity to waste. Now he was making a mammoth effort to control himself; waiting for everyone at the pub to depart until he could safely take the target out without the risk of anyone realising.
Eventually, it became too much to bear and Ryuzaki strode past him in full view of the remaining personel, stabbing him en passant with the now trusty ruler-blade. Despite the fact that the gun was not in his hand at the time, the dying Ravi eventually conceded that he had already quite overtly revealed it, and the kill was justified.
At relative peace, he succumbed to his injuries and fell.
Ryuzaki noticed that no-one else had jumped and killed him. Hopefully this meant that there were no other assassins present. Once more apologetic to the dead, even remorseful, he retreated to the shadows to plan...
RAVI SHARAD: KILLED BY RYUZAKI, 9:20 PM, MONDAY 22ND OCTOBER
[Note: I did attempt to accost someone after their society meeting in the campus chaplaincy in between these two kills - an idea turned out to have a definite flaw when he ran straight back into the chaplaincy shouting "PLACE OF WORSHIP PLACE OF WORSHIP PLACE OF WORSHIP". I did happen to overhear where he was going straight afterwards though, which made it a situation ripe for revenge...]
This was going to be tough. Not only was picking out a single target in a large open bar at its busiest a feat in itself, but Ryuzaki also had to get close enough to make the kill without revealing his weapon to any prying eyes whilst also not being noticed by any of the target's comrades. He brought his bag to a bench ready to begin preparations for the strike, and dimly registered a passerby out of the corner of his eye.
The passerby froze... and then leapt forwards. By pure chance, it was none other than Jon Griffiths: the intended target. Ryuzaki immediately dropped his gear and sprinted after him - although despite the pistol in his left hand it was evident from the manner of his run and the open bag of chips in his right that there would be no struggle or competition.
Chasing him down within seconds, Ryuzaki swiftly stabbed him with the rulerblade.
The victim just managed a few last words. "I never thought that it would feel this way... being alive..."
Suspicious rather than moved by these words, Ryuzaki stabbed him once more to be sure. Paying respects to the dead, he gathered his belongings and left into the night.
JONATHAN 'JONNY' GRIFFITHS: KILLED BY RYUZAKI, 10:20 PM, TUESDAY 23RD OCTOBER
Ryuzaki continued to scan the immediate area whilst trying to innocently continue the game of which he was a part, wary of almost everyone in the room. Someone else joined the game; Ryuzaki tensed only slightly: this person did not seem very threatening. However, he appeared to have something scrawled on his hand though... something that looked suspiciously like Ryuzaki's real name. The newcomer noticed the surprised stare, and the tension in the air immediately doubled. It was obvious that, while this was a safe zone, leaving it alive would now be a matter of speed and surprise.
Time passed. The tension eased a little; the newcomer left, allegedly to get a drink. Once he had left the room, Ryuzaki promptly rose and snuck after him down the corridor. Risking his life on an all-on-nothing manoeuvre, he hid in between the twin doors near the L3 vending machines, and waited. There was no-one else around - if there was a good situation to make the kill, this was it.
Two minutes later, Shane Roberts, the would be assassin of Ryuzaki, walked straight through the doors and recieved a dagger in his back.
SHANE ROBERTS: KILLED BY RYUZAKI, 4PM, WEDNESDAY 24TH OCTOBER
Today. Today would be when it began once again. Up until now was a perpetual deadlock: people slipping by each other unnoticed, cowardly targets going to ground to avoid the heat, a so-called 'Inquisition' that had yet to even prove its existence... Ryuzaki had grown weary of it.
He had even lost his infamous blade last night; the blade that had removed all foes from his path and got him this far had just simply evanesced. A little superstitious, Ryuzaki had felt this some sort of sign. Not a sign that he should give up, laying down his arms and relinquishing his life to fate, but rather a sign that he should wholly double his efforts; to flaunt his destiny and prove it could be done. To win.
He would start with his latest target: Timothy Hughes - he who had inexplicably run rings around the Inquisition. Address, lecture times, even what his face looked like; Ryuzaki knew all of them. From there he would move on to the other two targets, both in areas that he was now intimately familiar with and almost certain to return at the times he would be waiting for them.
He had hoped and planned endlessly for this, and now he could feel it with every fibre of his being. The board was set and the pieces were in place. Striding towards the maths building where it would all be set in motion, he knew: there was no way he could lose now.
*Bzzzt*
Shock, total and violent, flared through him.
Ryuzaki was prepared for almost anything. Stabs could be dodged and countered, prying eyes could be averted. He was staying alert to the point of exhaustion and would have killed the first person that asked his name.
But against such a reckless and determined strike, there was no hope.
All of the carefully laid plans meant nothing now. He hit the ground still clinging to their imaginary shreds, desperately yearning for what might have been but for the shot of a taser...
RYUZAKI - KILLED BY 'GOLDFISH BOWL', 1PM, FRIDAY 26TH OCTOBER
The whole thing isn't just great fun, but also one hell of a learning experience. Being caught in the middle of something like that really shows you first-hand what happens when so many people all have goals that are mutually exclusive to each other; not to mention that it gives you good training in lying low.
It's also a great excuse to bluff outrageously and lie through your teeth the whole time and not feel bad about it. :)
I do highly recommend the game to everyone reading this, if you do get a chance to play. You may have to (quite fittingly) physically track down the society president like me to do so, but it's well worth it.
Anyway, it so happens that for every kill that I was somehow involved in I wrote a small account to send to the umpire. They also seem like good journal material however, so I've decided to post them here.
The following is the game as seen through the eyes of one 'Ryuzaki'. Names have been changed out of respect for the dead. :P
Ryuzaki seemed to have missed his mark, and surveyed the scene one last time before giving up. His eyes caught on the last person to leave the building: someone who just happened to match the description. With his trusty blade disguised as a common ruler, he approached as quietly as possible for a close quarters kill.
"Rajiv?". Caught off guard, the target turned in a harmly inquisitive manner, and was only facing his assailant by the time that it was well and truly over. "Stab."
Despite the fact that it didn't seem much of a consolation, Ryuzaki apologised to the recently deceased whose plans had been so abruptly and decisively foiled, and turned to leave without missing a beat.
RAJIV PRAMESH: KILLED BY RYUZAKI, 12 NOON, MONDAY 22ND OCTOBER
The gun was on the table. Ravi had noticed that it was leaking hazardous Dihydrogen Monoxide over the interior of his pocket some time ago, and had placed it there after drawing it in fairly plain sight.
Ryuzaki, who happened to be sitting across the table from him, had considered letting it go, but it was just too big of an opportunity to waste. Now he was making a mammoth effort to control himself; waiting for everyone at the pub to depart until he could safely take the target out without the risk of anyone realising.
Eventually, it became too much to bear and Ryuzaki strode past him in full view of the remaining personel, stabbing him en passant with the now trusty ruler-blade. Despite the fact that the gun was not in his hand at the time, the dying Ravi eventually conceded that he had already quite overtly revealed it, and the kill was justified.
At relative peace, he succumbed to his injuries and fell.
Ryuzaki noticed that no-one else had jumped and killed him. Hopefully this meant that there were no other assassins present. Once more apologetic to the dead, even remorseful, he retreated to the shadows to plan...
RAVI SHARAD: KILLED BY RYUZAKI, 9:20 PM, MONDAY 22ND OCTOBER
[Note: I did attempt to accost someone after their society meeting in the campus chaplaincy in between these two kills - an idea turned out to have a definite flaw when he ran straight back into the chaplaincy shouting "PLACE OF WORSHIP PLACE OF WORSHIP PLACE OF WORSHIP". I did happen to overhear where he was going straight afterwards though, which made it a situation ripe for revenge...]
This was going to be tough. Not only was picking out a single target in a large open bar at its busiest a feat in itself, but Ryuzaki also had to get close enough to make the kill without revealing his weapon to any prying eyes whilst also not being noticed by any of the target's comrades. He brought his bag to a bench ready to begin preparations for the strike, and dimly registered a passerby out of the corner of his eye.
The passerby froze... and then leapt forwards. By pure chance, it was none other than Jon Griffiths: the intended target. Ryuzaki immediately dropped his gear and sprinted after him - although despite the pistol in his left hand it was evident from the manner of his run and the open bag of chips in his right that there would be no struggle or competition.
Chasing him down within seconds, Ryuzaki swiftly stabbed him with the rulerblade.
The victim just managed a few last words. "I never thought that it would feel this way... being alive..."
Suspicious rather than moved by these words, Ryuzaki stabbed him once more to be sure. Paying respects to the dead, he gathered his belongings and left into the night.
JONATHAN 'JONNY' GRIFFITHS: KILLED BY RYUZAKI, 10:20 PM, TUESDAY 23RD OCTOBER
Ryuzaki continued to scan the immediate area whilst trying to innocently continue the game of which he was a part, wary of almost everyone in the room. Someone else joined the game; Ryuzaki tensed only slightly: this person did not seem very threatening. However, he appeared to have something scrawled on his hand though... something that looked suspiciously like Ryuzaki's real name. The newcomer noticed the surprised stare, and the tension in the air immediately doubled. It was obvious that, while this was a safe zone, leaving it alive would now be a matter of speed and surprise.
Time passed. The tension eased a little; the newcomer left, allegedly to get a drink. Once he had left the room, Ryuzaki promptly rose and snuck after him down the corridor. Risking his life on an all-on-nothing manoeuvre, he hid in between the twin doors near the L3 vending machines, and waited. There was no-one else around - if there was a good situation to make the kill, this was it.
Two minutes later, Shane Roberts, the would be assassin of Ryuzaki, walked straight through the doors and recieved a dagger in his back.
SHANE ROBERTS: KILLED BY RYUZAKI, 4PM, WEDNESDAY 24TH OCTOBER
Today. Today would be when it began once again. Up until now was a perpetual deadlock: people slipping by each other unnoticed, cowardly targets going to ground to avoid the heat, a so-called 'Inquisition' that had yet to even prove its existence... Ryuzaki had grown weary of it.
He had even lost his infamous blade last night; the blade that had removed all foes from his path and got him this far had just simply evanesced. A little superstitious, Ryuzaki had felt this some sort of sign. Not a sign that he should give up, laying down his arms and relinquishing his life to fate, but rather a sign that he should wholly double his efforts; to flaunt his destiny and prove it could be done. To win.
He would start with his latest target: Timothy Hughes - he who had inexplicably run rings around the Inquisition. Address, lecture times, even what his face looked like; Ryuzaki knew all of them. From there he would move on to the other two targets, both in areas that he was now intimately familiar with and almost certain to return at the times he would be waiting for them.
He had hoped and planned endlessly for this, and now he could feel it with every fibre of his being. The board was set and the pieces were in place. Striding towards the maths building where it would all be set in motion, he knew: there was no way he could lose now.
*Bzzzt*
Shock, total and violent, flared through him.
Ryuzaki was prepared for almost anything. Stabs could be dodged and countered, prying eyes could be averted. He was staying alert to the point of exhaustion and would have killed the first person that asked his name.
But against such a reckless and determined strike, there was no hope.
All of the carefully laid plans meant nothing now. He hit the ground still clinging to their imaginary shreds, desperately yearning for what might have been but for the shot of a taser...
RYUZAKI - KILLED BY 'GOLDFISH BOWL', 1PM, FRIDAY 26TH OCTOBER