(no subject)
Who has ever been spending time with a someone, and been accused of cock-blocking a friend who is interested in them? It sucks, and oftentimes, the worst part about it is that they're right: you WERE cock-blocking, and probably should have paid enough attention to know better. But sometimes, that accusation gets made unfairly.
Consider the following situation which did not happen, but illustrates the concept: You're hanging out with a friend (let's call this person "Kate" but the person could be of either gender), and another one of your friends (say, "Rick") is interested in Kate. You and Kate were already friends before Rick was interested, and Kate is enjoying herself. Perhaps you're dancing, or drinking, maybe watching TV, or even just talking. While you notice that Rick is interested, you don't make any motions to disrupt their interaction. You simply continue what you were already doing. Maybe, being considerate, you even leave for a little bit to let them have some time together. Later on, you come back and the two of them are still in a public place. You approach the two of them and Kate is clearly happy to see you again and you start conversing again (or doing whatever). Later on in the night, Rick approaches you and asks you (whether politely or rudely does not matter) not to cockblock him.
But really, is this a case of cockblocking? Or is it something else? I don't think that's cockblocking, because you were intentionally making sure not to disrupt what they were doing, and because you were already friends with Kate. Also, this all happened in a public place. For that matter, you even left to give them ample opportunity to leave the public place if they wanted to. So in this case, Rick was wrong. You were not cockblocking him. In fact, if there was any offense committed, it was Rick that committed it! There's no real term for it, but it's happened to everyone: you're good friends with someone, they start dating someone, and suddenly you're not allowed to spend time with them anymore. I've come up with a term for this to displace the blame from the jaded, neglected old friend onto the greedy new love interest: friend-blocking. Yes, if Rick disrespected your friendship with Kate by blocking you two from spending time together (when you had not blocked their time together), and even disrespected his friendship with you by accusing you of something that you didn't do, then he has friendblocked you.
So, to all of you who have been friend-blocked, and this often happens to gay males whose straight friends get mad at them for hanging out with female friends of theirs, know that you weren't in the wrong. Note that this does NOT mean that it's okay to cockblock people, or that cockblocking isn't real. Far from it! Genuine cockblocking is an inexcusable friend offense and/or party foul! But, making false accusations of cockblocking is worse. So, any time you're about to accuse someone of cockblocking you, ask yourself: "Am I really the one who is being inconsiderate? Did I neglect some opportunities to make my move? Was this all happening in a common area? Above all, what was the intention of the alleged cockblocker? Was s/he trying to steal my person away, or trying to keep me from having a good time, or simply being nice to someone that I happened to be interested in?" Any type of "blocking" sucks and is disruptive to friendship. Don't do either type to your friends, because you wouldn't want them to do it to you!
Consider the following situation which did not happen, but illustrates the concept: You're hanging out with a friend (let's call this person "Kate" but the person could be of either gender), and another one of your friends (say, "Rick") is interested in Kate. You and Kate were already friends before Rick was interested, and Kate is enjoying herself. Perhaps you're dancing, or drinking, maybe watching TV, or even just talking. While you notice that Rick is interested, you don't make any motions to disrupt their interaction. You simply continue what you were already doing. Maybe, being considerate, you even leave for a little bit to let them have some time together. Later on, you come back and the two of them are still in a public place. You approach the two of them and Kate is clearly happy to see you again and you start conversing again (or doing whatever). Later on in the night, Rick approaches you and asks you (whether politely or rudely does not matter) not to cockblock him.
But really, is this a case of cockblocking? Or is it something else? I don't think that's cockblocking, because you were intentionally making sure not to disrupt what they were doing, and because you were already friends with Kate. Also, this all happened in a public place. For that matter, you even left to give them ample opportunity to leave the public place if they wanted to. So in this case, Rick was wrong. You were not cockblocking him. In fact, if there was any offense committed, it was Rick that committed it! There's no real term for it, but it's happened to everyone: you're good friends with someone, they start dating someone, and suddenly you're not allowed to spend time with them anymore. I've come up with a term for this to displace the blame from the jaded, neglected old friend onto the greedy new love interest: friend-blocking. Yes, if Rick disrespected your friendship with Kate by blocking you two from spending time together (when you had not blocked their time together), and even disrespected his friendship with you by accusing you of something that you didn't do, then he has friendblocked you.
So, to all of you who have been friend-blocked, and this often happens to gay males whose straight friends get mad at them for hanging out with female friends of theirs, know that you weren't in the wrong. Note that this does NOT mean that it's okay to cockblock people, or that cockblocking isn't real. Far from it! Genuine cockblocking is an inexcusable friend offense and/or party foul! But, making false accusations of cockblocking is worse. So, any time you're about to accuse someone of cockblocking you, ask yourself: "Am I really the one who is being inconsiderate? Did I neglect some opportunities to make my move? Was this all happening in a common area? Above all, what was the intention of the alleged cockblocker? Was s/he trying to steal my person away, or trying to keep me from having a good time, or simply being nice to someone that I happened to be interested in?" Any type of "blocking" sucks and is disruptive to friendship. Don't do either type to your friends, because you wouldn't want them to do it to you!