reflection on the summer. long and depressing, just to warn you.
keith left today. me and elaine went over to say goodbye to him, and he gave me a bunch of his clothes which is awesome because not only are they excellent but very comfortable. PLUS a signed running picture of him.
despite the happiness of the presents, it was really depressing. keith was the last of the group to leave, the few i hung out with basically all summer long. first brett, then brian, then paul then bryan and now keith. i also miss the people that have left that i didnt' see all the time like candice. i even miss jason dick. who i don't even like that much. saying bye to keith made everything seem a lot more real.. it has hit me that everyone is gone and i will only see them for a brief time at thanksgiving and then over christmas break.
i miss summer.
i miss all of it, everything. even though it wasn't perfect. i miss working all day and smoking bowls with karl at lunch and breaktime. i miss warm weather. i miss staying out late. i miss spending the night at cassie's and staying up all night sitting on her roof, stargazing and talking about life and going through packs of cigarettes. nothing was perfect, everything had it's problems at certain points but everything felt RIGHT. and now everything feels wrong. my classes, my weekends, my phone calls, my life. i am okay most of the time, it's not as if i hide out and stay depressed all the time. i can handle it. but sometimes i will go somewhere we all hung out or something and it just hurts. not to mention the fact that seeing lyndsey rakestraw every day of my fucking life doesn't help to distract me from anything.
there were so many good times this summer. and i am really glad to have all the great memories. but i can't help but think about the fact that we won't make any more. sure people come back for the summer, but it won't be the same. bryan's family is moving to california so he won't be up all summer like this one. and by the time brian brett keith and paul and everybody come back, they will be into their new lives and be moved on from everything that happened last summer.
it has gotten easier with time. but it's still hard, because the people i care about have moved onto their new lives with ease. it's sad that someone an hour and a half away can have no desire to come back except for when they have to visit their family on breaks, but i guess i have accepted it. i'm hoping that maybe christmas break and next summer, everybody will realize that we can all still hang out and have good times. because i don't want this to be the end of everything.
despite the happiness of the presents, it was really depressing. keith was the last of the group to leave, the few i hung out with basically all summer long. first brett, then brian, then paul then bryan and now keith. i also miss the people that have left that i didnt' see all the time like candice. i even miss jason dick. who i don't even like that much. saying bye to keith made everything seem a lot more real.. it has hit me that everyone is gone and i will only see them for a brief time at thanksgiving and then over christmas break.
i miss summer.
i miss all of it, everything. even though it wasn't perfect. i miss working all day and smoking bowls with karl at lunch and breaktime. i miss warm weather. i miss staying out late. i miss spending the night at cassie's and staying up all night sitting on her roof, stargazing and talking about life and going through packs of cigarettes. nothing was perfect, everything had it's problems at certain points but everything felt RIGHT. and now everything feels wrong. my classes, my weekends, my phone calls, my life. i am okay most of the time, it's not as if i hide out and stay depressed all the time. i can handle it. but sometimes i will go somewhere we all hung out or something and it just hurts. not to mention the fact that seeing lyndsey rakestraw every day of my fucking life doesn't help to distract me from anything.
there were so many good times this summer. and i am really glad to have all the great memories. but i can't help but think about the fact that we won't make any more. sure people come back for the summer, but it won't be the same. bryan's family is moving to california so he won't be up all summer like this one. and by the time brian brett keith and paul and everybody come back, they will be into their new lives and be moved on from everything that happened last summer.
it has gotten easier with time. but it's still hard, because the people i care about have moved onto their new lives with ease. it's sad that someone an hour and a half away can have no desire to come back except for when they have to visit their family on breaks, but i guess i have accepted it. i'm hoping that maybe christmas break and next summer, everybody will realize that we can all still hang out and have good times. because i don't want this to be the end of everything.