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[kayliemalinza]

You know what I want to see? A PotC:AWE fix-it fic crossover with The Corpse Bride. Our poor dead person wakes up in the Underworld, surrounded by skeletons and jazz. Then we just need to get someone from Upstairs to accidentally propose marriage. (spoilers for AWE in comments

Comments

[lostwiginity]

You think James'd like Jazz?

In other news, I don't even have peanut butter!

Also, I'll never ever drink anything with alcohol in it again. My aunt made me do so once on her birthday party two years ago, champagne mixed with strawberry juice, and after two nibbles (or whatever the liquid equivalent of "nibbling" is) I wasn't exactly drunk but extremely sick. I think I just skipped the pleasant stage right to being hung over. XP

[kayliemalinza]

That... sounds like a very bad combination. And champagne makes one of the worst hangovers, too. Try again with a nice beer or a rum and Coke.

The drinking equivalent of nibbling is "sipping". ^_^

I think James would like Jazz very much, if he were relaxed and happy.

[lostwiginity]

Which he never ever is except for when...!?

[kayliemalinza]

After a good buggering, or perhaps after he's gotten used to being dead and not having any duties. But after a bit of that, he'd get bored. :(

But then Jack will come and get him!

[lostwiginity]

I can see James putting on a bit of Jazz after a nice shag. ^^

And Jack getting two bottles of rum, corking his ears, drinking the booze and starting to yell songs about whelps who have no balls.

[kayliemalinza]

The whelp-with-no-balls songs clash horribly with the Jazz, so, tragically, James is forced to gag Sparrow with his own scarf.

[lostwiginity]

Jack then tries to turn off the Jazz music as an act of revenge, so James has to tie him to the bed as well.

[kayliemalinza]

How sad! And then, Jack will insist insist on wriggling, and that makes the bed creak, so of course James must sacrifice his body for the sake of jazz and lie on top of Jack to keep him still.

[lostwiginity]

But that doesn't keep Jack from trying to wiggle free. Ah, blessed friction, keeps James mind occupied while Jack starts to untie the much too losely tied rope. A Navy boy should know better, really.

[kayliemalinza]

Fortunately, Jack is much better at tying ropes. Even more fortunately, Jack picked up the ancient art of flipping about much larger men than oneself during his travels, and so is able to deftly demonstrate his ropetying skills on James.

[lostwiginity]

James is more than a little upset about this change of events. But he becomes more reproachable when Jack tells him about all the other ancient arts he picked up from a book he nicked once and then put them into use in an Indian brothel, leaving the brothel bit out of his persuasions.

The Navy officer is all for a demonstration of Jack's skills, but insists that songs about eunuchs are not exactly a turn-on.

[kayliemalinza]

Jack amenably switching songs, unwittingly choosing one of James' favorite artists, Billie Holiday, and Jamie goes all wibbly.

Then he goes all tingly because Jack has begun the demonstration.

[lostwiginity]

Meanwhile, the crew of the Black Pearl starts murmuring as the record of Jazz music playing in the captain's cabin keeps on skipping, with neither of the occupants of the cabin seeming to care to change that fact.

[kayliemalinza]

The crew moves toward the prow, as far away from the Captain's cabin as possible.

Eventually, the record player falls off the table altogether. Funnily enough, the back-up singers keep going: "Awoooo awoooo yes yes yes!"

[lostwiginity]

James can't decide wheter to laugh at the exquisit irony of this or just come with a drawn-out cry. But after giving thought to the position he's in, he decides for the latter.

Yes, he decides to orgasm. James is controlled like that. At least that's what he tells himself.

[kayliemalinza]

Jack's deft execution of the "dancing dolphin" position had nothing to do with it, of course. Jack is perfectly happy to take the credit, however, and takes advantage of James' temporarily muzzy state to tie James' hair ribbon around his neck in a lovely bow.