The truth is
My grandma told me she was proud of me today. She told me that sometimes she takes for granted me already knowing that. She said there are few other people she has known that have hit rock bottom the way that I have in the past few months, few days and gotten back and made things work. I kind of laughed. She is so supportive. Everyone has been really supportive lately, even my teachers. I am so thankful that I am going to Chandler GIlbert CC where I feel more of a connection to my teachers I need that. I need that Interpersonal action.
The truth is I'm really sad. I don't really have any friends right now. THat is not to say that I don't have anyone that if I really worked at it I could be friends with it's just to say there's no one who really understands me right now. No one who really wants to be the type of friend I need in my life right now. I am so vulnerable. I'm just trying to get my life back on track and I want to knock on wood when I say that. (Whenever I say I'm going to do great things I jinx myself) But, I'm trying, and for the first time in a long time I am genuinely trying to be a better person. To go to the gym. To go to church. To tithe. To love my neighbors and respect my grandma and get my homework done. I am really really trying. The only person who is being truly supportive through all of this, through all of my life is my grandma. I think I definitely take advantage of that. She is my best friend, and I need her so badly and I'm scared to move out because I don't want to back track but it's so hard because I fear that I am about to start a whole new life. This, if there is nothing else, is truly the truth.
The truth is I'm probably going to be taking 12 to 15 credits next semester. The truth is I'm going to be going to night school at MCC. The truth is, if everything works out, I am going to be a substitute in Maricopa 4 days a week next semester getting paid more than I do now.
The truth is sometimes I am deeply depressed because I need a friend. I know I have friends but I don't want anyone in my life right now that is going to shift my focus from what I need to be doing.
The truth is I'm so vulnerable.
The truth is I'm really sad. I don't really have any friends right now. THat is not to say that I don't have anyone that if I really worked at it I could be friends with it's just to say there's no one who really understands me right now. No one who really wants to be the type of friend I need in my life right now. I am so vulnerable. I'm just trying to get my life back on track and I want to knock on wood when I say that. (Whenever I say I'm going to do great things I jinx myself) But, I'm trying, and for the first time in a long time I am genuinely trying to be a better person. To go to the gym. To go to church. To tithe. To love my neighbors and respect my grandma and get my homework done. I am really really trying. The only person who is being truly supportive through all of this, through all of my life is my grandma. I think I definitely take advantage of that. She is my best friend, and I need her so badly and I'm scared to move out because I don't want to back track but it's so hard because I fear that I am about to start a whole new life. This, if there is nothing else, is truly the truth.
The truth is I'm probably going to be taking 12 to 15 credits next semester. The truth is I'm going to be going to night school at MCC. The truth is, if everything works out, I am going to be a substitute in Maricopa 4 days a week next semester getting paid more than I do now.
The truth is sometimes I am deeply depressed because I need a friend. I know I have friends but I don't want anyone in my life right now that is going to shift my focus from what I need to be doing.
The truth is I'm so vulnerable.