Honesty, honestly, not the best policy
Came across a speech , given at to the graduating class of 2008 at the NTU convocation by Adrian Tan, the author of The Teenage Textbook (1988).
One particular line caught my attention. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences.
I had never thought about it that way before, associating honesty/candour with immaturity.
I'm an open book. Whether I'm happy or not, it's usually written across my face. I thought open and honest communication was the cornerstone of any relationship. I thought it was a good thing. If you are unhappy, it would be better to trash out the issues earlier than to let them fester.
I'm also not that good at lying and it's kinda obvious cos you'll see me grimacing. I subscribed to the school of thought that you will need to tell a lie to cover up a previous lie and life just gets too complicated.
But yeah, Adrian Tan is right. Any child can just blurt out the truth. It takes a cultured, cultivated mind to think of consequences before speaking/acting.
I used to think people who sidle up to others to get into their good books because these people are of position/use, are mercenary. Selling your soul for benefit? I'm not that cheap! Got more backbone than that! But Adrian Tan has pointed out that it is actually immaturity on my part. Adults should be more conscious of themselves and their surroundings and cultivate constructive relationships.
Ok, so the first step towards solving a problem is to acknowledge its existence. Now I've got to work towards reconditioning how I am accustomed to see it.
One particular line caught my attention. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences.
I had never thought about it that way before, associating honesty/candour with immaturity.
I'm an open book. Whether I'm happy or not, it's usually written across my face. I thought open and honest communication was the cornerstone of any relationship. I thought it was a good thing. If you are unhappy, it would be better to trash out the issues earlier than to let them fester.
I'm also not that good at lying and it's kinda obvious cos you'll see me grimacing. I subscribed to the school of thought that you will need to tell a lie to cover up a previous lie and life just gets too complicated.
But yeah, Adrian Tan is right. Any child can just blurt out the truth. It takes a cultured, cultivated mind to think of consequences before speaking/acting.
I used to think people who sidle up to others to get into their good books because these people are of position/use, are mercenary. Selling your soul for benefit? I'm not that cheap! Got more backbone than that! But Adrian Tan has pointed out that it is actually immaturity on my part. Adults should be more conscious of themselves and their surroundings and cultivate constructive relationships.
Ok, so the first step towards solving a problem is to acknowledge its existence. Now I've got to work towards reconditioning how I am accustomed to see it.