life's a song you don't get to rehearse
Why hello there, self-doubt, how lovely to see you again.
In a couple of weeks, I go into tech for a touring show. I've never stage managed in this capacity before -- I'm coming in as a local for a show that's been produced elsewhere, and as a result, I'm very, very anxious about what exactly my responsibilities are, because no one seems to be explaining them. I mean, obviously I know how to run a show, though tech rehearsals will be a particularly steep learning curve since I'm the only person involved who HASN'T worked on the production before. But that shit, I can deal with. What confuses me is what I'm supposed to be doing in the next couple of weeks before they roll into town. On a normal show, I'd be collecting conflicts, putting a rehearsal schedule together, dealing with production management. But the schedule's already been set by the producers, they're bringing all their stuff with them, and the production manager is the person coordinating his staff with the venue manager. So I feel...superfluous? Like, I'm not sure if there's something I SHOULD be doing that I'm not, or if I should just stay out of everybody's way because they've done this a hundred times already. And nobody's physically HERE in DC yet, so...urg. I don't know. I'm very confused, and terrified that I'm missing something.
Also, stressing the fuck out about Project Get Me Out Of DC. I keep swinging violently back and forth on it. On the one hand, pretty much the only thing that gets me to work in the morning is reassuring myself that it's only for a little while longer, I promise, I'm leaving soon. And this weekend I'm heading up to explore Philadelphia, which has somehow crept up to the top of my list of Places To Move by virtue of being relatively close to my hometown (NYC), having a reasonable cost of living (especially in comparison to DC), and having a thriving arts community that could theoretically hire me. But then I start panicking about not having a job to move to, and being unemployed in this economy, and I feel guilty about leaving my roommate in the lurch, and even though I'm starting to hate DC I have all these professional contacts here and maybe I should just suck it up and stay, and what if relocating does nothing and I'm always miserable and lonely everywhere I go because I'm just fucked up like that...except that just traps me in the cycle of Never Getting Out Of DC, and christ, I really don't want to wake up fifteen years from now and still be stuck here. ARGH.
My ability to sabotage myself is really quite impressive.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. So, is LJ completely dead these days, or is it just me? Is the great fandom migration officially shipping over to Tumblr? Because every morning, I check first DW, then LJ, then Tumblr; DW has moderate activity, maybe 5-10mins of browsing, LJ takes maybe 2 mins at most, and then Tumblr provides a good half hour of entertainment at least. Which makes me a little sad, because I genuinely prefer text-based fandom interaction over reblogging photos, but if that's where all the activity is... Anyway, I'm kaydeefalls over at Tumblr, unsurprisingly, if that's your thing.
This entry was originally posted on Dreamwidth. Comment wherever you'd like.
In a couple of weeks, I go into tech for a touring show. I've never stage managed in this capacity before -- I'm coming in as a local for a show that's been produced elsewhere, and as a result, I'm very, very anxious about what exactly my responsibilities are, because no one seems to be explaining them. I mean, obviously I know how to run a show, though tech rehearsals will be a particularly steep learning curve since I'm the only person involved who HASN'T worked on the production before. But that shit, I can deal with. What confuses me is what I'm supposed to be doing in the next couple of weeks before they roll into town. On a normal show, I'd be collecting conflicts, putting a rehearsal schedule together, dealing with production management. But the schedule's already been set by the producers, they're bringing all their stuff with them, and the production manager is the person coordinating his staff with the venue manager. So I feel...superfluous? Like, I'm not sure if there's something I SHOULD be doing that I'm not, or if I should just stay out of everybody's way because they've done this a hundred times already. And nobody's physically HERE in DC yet, so...urg. I don't know. I'm very confused, and terrified that I'm missing something.
Also, stressing the fuck out about Project Get Me Out Of DC. I keep swinging violently back and forth on it. On the one hand, pretty much the only thing that gets me to work in the morning is reassuring myself that it's only for a little while longer, I promise, I'm leaving soon. And this weekend I'm heading up to explore Philadelphia, which has somehow crept up to the top of my list of Places To Move by virtue of being relatively close to my hometown (NYC), having a reasonable cost of living (especially in comparison to DC), and having a thriving arts community that could theoretically hire me. But then I start panicking about not having a job to move to, and being unemployed in this economy, and I feel guilty about leaving my roommate in the lurch, and even though I'm starting to hate DC I have all these professional contacts here and maybe I should just suck it up and stay, and what if relocating does nothing and I'm always miserable and lonely everywhere I go because I'm just fucked up like that...except that just traps me in the cycle of Never Getting Out Of DC, and christ, I really don't want to wake up fifteen years from now and still be stuck here. ARGH.
My ability to sabotage myself is really quite impressive.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. So, is LJ completely dead these days, or is it just me? Is the great fandom migration officially shipping over to Tumblr? Because every morning, I check first DW, then LJ, then Tumblr; DW has moderate activity, maybe 5-10mins of browsing, LJ takes maybe 2 mins at most, and then Tumblr provides a good half hour of entertainment at least. Which makes me a little sad, because I genuinely prefer text-based fandom interaction over reblogging photos, but if that's where all the activity is... Anyway, I'm kaydeefalls over at Tumblr, unsurprisingly, if that's your thing.
This entry was originally posted on Dreamwidth. Comment wherever you'd like.