okay.
The ex is in town tonight/tomorrow. Spent the evening hanging out with him, eating pizza and watching Heroes. First time I've seen him since August, or since we officially broke up in September. It was way less awkward than I'd expected. So that's good.
Part of me still misses him, but really, now I know for sure that I'm happier without him. Which in itself kind of hurts to realize, but yeah. I like being single. I miss the intimacy sometimes, but I like having control over my own time, I like not having to plan my life around someone else, I like having my space all to myself. I'm willing to give up some of that independence for someone I'm in love with, but not him, and not now. I guess I'm kind of a hermit at heart. I do better alone.
If being generally more content means a bit of loneliness every now and then, I'm kind of okay with that. For a little while, at least. And really, towards the end there, I was just as lonely when I was with him as when I was actually alone.
Part of me still misses him, but really, now I know for sure that I'm happier without him. Which in itself kind of hurts to realize, but yeah. I like being single. I miss the intimacy sometimes, but I like having control over my own time, I like not having to plan my life around someone else, I like having my space all to myself. I'm willing to give up some of that independence for someone I'm in love with, but not him, and not now. I guess I'm kind of a hermit at heart. I do better alone.
If being generally more content means a bit of loneliness every now and then, I'm kind of okay with that. For a little while, at least. And really, towards the end there, I was just as lonely when I was with him as when I was actually alone.