Boop boop ba doop.
HELLO, WORLD!
Or maybe hello the two whole people who read this!
Either way, I'm totally thrilled to be alive right now.
AND THAT'S NOT JUST BECAUSE I TOOK MY HAPPY ANTI-ZOMBIE PILL LATE TODAY. okaymaybethatswhy.
Okay, anyway, here's an update tdeapu tudaep dtepua.
SO THERE WERE THREE GUYS IN MY LIFE.
1. CARL
2. ERIC
3. CHARLIE
We will talk about them in order.
Carl is being a douche right now because I couldn't hang out with him on Friday. He invited me to have brunch and watch movies, but I was having lunch with my sisters and mommy and then I was going swimming with either Charlie or Eric (at the time I hadn't decided which) so I couldn't do it. I told him that we could have breakfast but that I wouldn't be able to hang out too long and he just sort of blew it off. I don't really care though, not really.
Eric is WONDERFUL. He just lets me be myself and I never feel cranky around him. He just totally accepts me, man, it's a pretty sweet deal. I think that I could fall in love with him but I need to be careful because I don't know if he is really capable of falling in love with anyone. But I'm not too worried about it, it'll happen how it happens. We do fun shit like go skinnydipping and take showers together and we FUCK, which is awesome, which I like. And besides that we watch good movies and eat good food and hang out with his awesome dad (De). De is always telling me how perfect and beautiful I am, and how much he loves me. Which, of course, I love. I'm kind of glad that Eric isn't all "OMG ILU" because that'd be creepy and also it would complicate things, which I don't want. I think whatever happens with Eric will happen slowly, which is good, stability is more important than passion. I really like him though, he's got blonde hair and blue eyes and is super skinny. He is only a couple of inches taller than me, but I don't mind that so much. I like tall guys, but the physical stuff just doesn't seem that important to me anymore, idk, I guess I'm just getting more mature. Anyway, right now it's good with Eric. He makes me feel safe and comfortable, I feel less crazy around him. He makes me feel normal.
Then there WAS Charlie (I'm not speaking to that self-righteous bastard anymore). It was nice that he liked me so much (the kid basically worshipped the ground I walked on) and it was nice that he made me coffee and told me that I was beautiful, but you know none of that stuff really mattered when he got mad at me and told me what he REALLY thought about me. Which was that I was fat and easy. OK, easy, maybe, but fat? No fucking way. Plus the kid weighs like three hundred pounds so IDK which hundred pounds was calling me fat, but I didn't appreciate it. He also told me that Liz (Spenser's new baby mama/girlfriend) was so much better than me, and that he could see why Spenser chose her over me. Which Spenser didn't even technically choose her over me, because I broke up with him before he and Liz ever got together, but WHATEV. I stole his virginity LOL so now he's all moody over it because I didn't want to be with his sorry ass. Haha, he's going to remember me forever whether he wants to or not. He'll probably just say "Yeah, I lost my virginity to some fat, easy girl." Which will only make HIM look bad. Since his next fat and easy girlfriend will have no idea who I am, nor will she really care. He was begging to have his heart broken, so I did and IT FELT GOOD. Oh, then after he said all this shit to me, he was like "OMG I still want to be friends." And I was like, "Fuuuuuuck thaaaaaat." As much as I normally like people who abuse me, I think I'm moving past it. Don't need people in my life who treat me like shit, nope, not really. PEACEOUTFATASS, can't believe that I cut myself over you, you sorry piece of shit.
Wow, I REALLY needed to vent about that. It felt good. I wish the whole world was reading this.
Did I mention that Eric would never EVER say anything bad about me? Nope, he wouldn't. It just wouldn't happen. Even if I did something to piss him off (not that that is likely to happen, I don't even know what crazy thing I would have to do to piss him off) he would never cut me down with lameass insults. EVER. He likes me, forreal, and not just because he thinks I'm some girl he dreamt me to be, but because of who I am. Yeah, so, GO ERIC! Or whatever.
I am so different now. I used to just fall super hard for people, but not anymore. I guess I'm callous or jaded or something, but I'm not complaining. This works out much better for me. Fewer broken hearts is hardly a bad thing. I mean, really, as much as I like Eric, if something happened and I couldn't see him any more, it wouldn't be the end of the world. If anything, I would just be bored. Which would suck, but I can always find things to do, everyone can.
I miss Kayla, I've been so wrapped up in pre-relationship schmoozing that I've hardly gotten to hang out with her. I think it's been like two weeks since I've even seen her. Damn. I really need to see that bitch, I love her to death.
I finally smoked for the first time in two weeks the other day, it was such a relief, I don't feel so high strung any more, it like released everything bad that I was feeling. Smoking weed really does wonders for me, I don't think that I'm imagining it. It just makes me a better person in general. I have some money now to buy so hopefully I can get hooked up before the weekend is over. I called Chris tonight but he was all out on sleeping pills so I told him I would catch him later, lol, silly boy. His older sister is my manager at Panera, kind of funny.
I'm really hyper and I just commented on everyone and their mom's Facebook. LAWL.
I never get on Facebook because I always do that shit and it'd get annoying.
MY FOOT IS NUMB.
IT'S OK.
Wish I didn't have to work tomorrow. Work = lame.
UMMMM. GOODNIGHT. BUT I MIGHT BE BACK BECAUSE I'M REALLY HYPER AND PROBABLY WONT BE ABLE TO SLEEP.
KBAI.
Or maybe hello the two whole people who read this!
Either way, I'm totally thrilled to be alive right now.
AND THAT'S NOT JUST BECAUSE I TOOK MY HAPPY ANTI-ZOMBIE PILL LATE TODAY. okaymaybethatswhy.
Okay, anyway, here's an update tdeapu tudaep dtepua.
SO THERE WERE THREE GUYS IN MY LIFE.
1. CARL
2. ERIC
3. CHARLIE
We will talk about them in order.
Carl is being a douche right now because I couldn't hang out with him on Friday. He invited me to have brunch and watch movies, but I was having lunch with my sisters and mommy and then I was going swimming with either Charlie or Eric (at the time I hadn't decided which) so I couldn't do it. I told him that we could have breakfast but that I wouldn't be able to hang out too long and he just sort of blew it off. I don't really care though, not really.
Eric is WONDERFUL. He just lets me be myself and I never feel cranky around him. He just totally accepts me, man, it's a pretty sweet deal. I think that I could fall in love with him but I need to be careful because I don't know if he is really capable of falling in love with anyone. But I'm not too worried about it, it'll happen how it happens. We do fun shit like go skinnydipping and take showers together and we FUCK, which is awesome, which I like. And besides that we watch good movies and eat good food and hang out with his awesome dad (De). De is always telling me how perfect and beautiful I am, and how much he loves me. Which, of course, I love. I'm kind of glad that Eric isn't all "OMG ILU" because that'd be creepy and also it would complicate things, which I don't want. I think whatever happens with Eric will happen slowly, which is good, stability is more important than passion. I really like him though, he's got blonde hair and blue eyes and is super skinny. He is only a couple of inches taller than me, but I don't mind that so much. I like tall guys, but the physical stuff just doesn't seem that important to me anymore, idk, I guess I'm just getting more mature. Anyway, right now it's good with Eric. He makes me feel safe and comfortable, I feel less crazy around him. He makes me feel normal.
Then there WAS Charlie (I'm not speaking to that self-righteous bastard anymore). It was nice that he liked me so much (the kid basically worshipped the ground I walked on) and it was nice that he made me coffee and told me that I was beautiful, but you know none of that stuff really mattered when he got mad at me and told me what he REALLY thought about me. Which was that I was fat and easy. OK, easy, maybe, but fat? No fucking way. Plus the kid weighs like three hundred pounds so IDK which hundred pounds was calling me fat, but I didn't appreciate it. He also told me that Liz (Spenser's new baby mama/girlfriend) was so much better than me, and that he could see why Spenser chose her over me. Which Spenser didn't even technically choose her over me, because I broke up with him before he and Liz ever got together, but WHATEV. I stole his virginity LOL so now he's all moody over it because I didn't want to be with his sorry ass. Haha, he's going to remember me forever whether he wants to or not. He'll probably just say "Yeah, I lost my virginity to some fat, easy girl." Which will only make HIM look bad. Since his next fat and easy girlfriend will have no idea who I am, nor will she really care. He was begging to have his heart broken, so I did and IT FELT GOOD. Oh, then after he said all this shit to me, he was like "OMG I still want to be friends." And I was like, "Fuuuuuuck thaaaaaat." As much as I normally like people who abuse me, I think I'm moving past it. Don't need people in my life who treat me like shit, nope, not really. PEACEOUTFATASS, can't believe that I cut myself over you, you sorry piece of shit.
Wow, I REALLY needed to vent about that. It felt good. I wish the whole world was reading this.
Did I mention that Eric would never EVER say anything bad about me? Nope, he wouldn't. It just wouldn't happen. Even if I did something to piss him off (not that that is likely to happen, I don't even know what crazy thing I would have to do to piss him off) he would never cut me down with lameass insults. EVER. He likes me, forreal, and not just because he thinks I'm some girl he dreamt me to be, but because of who I am. Yeah, so, GO ERIC! Or whatever.
I am so different now. I used to just fall super hard for people, but not anymore. I guess I'm callous or jaded or something, but I'm not complaining. This works out much better for me. Fewer broken hearts is hardly a bad thing. I mean, really, as much as I like Eric, if something happened and I couldn't see him any more, it wouldn't be the end of the world. If anything, I would just be bored. Which would suck, but I can always find things to do, everyone can.
I miss Kayla, I've been so wrapped up in pre-relationship schmoozing that I've hardly gotten to hang out with her. I think it's been like two weeks since I've even seen her. Damn. I really need to see that bitch, I love her to death.
I finally smoked for the first time in two weeks the other day, it was such a relief, I don't feel so high strung any more, it like released everything bad that I was feeling. Smoking weed really does wonders for me, I don't think that I'm imagining it. It just makes me a better person in general. I have some money now to buy so hopefully I can get hooked up before the weekend is over. I called Chris tonight but he was all out on sleeping pills so I told him I would catch him later, lol, silly boy. His older sister is my manager at Panera, kind of funny.
I'm really hyper and I just commented on everyone and their mom's Facebook. LAWL.
I never get on Facebook because I always do that shit and it'd get annoying.
MY FOOT IS NUMB.
IT'S OK.
Wish I didn't have to work tomorrow. Work = lame.
UMMMM. GOODNIGHT. BUT I MIGHT BE BACK BECAUSE I'M REALLY HYPER AND PROBABLY WONT BE ABLE TO SLEEP.
KBAI.