(no subject)
ok. so i didnt do that something....and then i said fuck it and i did. but its ok now. its not as bad as it was a while ago, and i hate to say this but i feel better. you can say freak. i dont mind. ill get over it.
moving on. oh, wait, thats right, i have nothing to move on to! haha, i almost forgot for a second there.
some people reviewed my journal (?) and gave me a three. whatever. ill just give a noncommital shrug and roll forwards.
ok. scott. talked to him on the phone. he said "guess what song i heard today?" and i said "gee...hmm...baby got back?" and he said "nooo...that sugar one. with the baby guy. about getting fly." and i said "oh. good song" and then there was nothing for a second and then he said "it makes me think of you a little bit."
SMACK. like someone hit me in the face with a brick. a heavy brick. so i sat there, with a mental bloody nose, searching frantically for a line. a phrase. a word. a GRUNT, anything. you know what genius me came up with?
"in a bad way or a good way?"
LIKE I REALLY ACTUALLY WANTED TO KNOW. LIKE I NEEDED ONE MORE HINT DROPPED, OR ONE MORE CONFUSING LINE THAT ZOOMS THROUGH MY EAR AND SLICES MY BRAIN INTO TINY LITTLE PEICES. I HAD TO ENCOURAGE THE BASTARD. I WAS FLIRTING WITH MY EX BOYFRIEND. FLIRTING. F.L.I.R.T.I.N.G. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??
he said "a good way. it made me smile. we were good together for a long time."
OH MY GOD. OH GOD. (this is the part where my brain just deflates) NOW WHAT, MEGHAN? YOU FUCKING IDIOT. NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY?
"we were, werent we? remember that song that you used to sing on my voice mail?"
SHUT UP! STOP! NO MORE! ENOUGH! TIME TO HANG UP! SAY BYE BYE!
"yeah, and you called me a perv? i thought that was a good song."
WELL YOU WOULD, WOULDNT YOU?! YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT SO THAT NO MATTER WHAT THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING AROUND MAKING ME THINK OF YOU. YOU ASS. YOU BASTARD. YOU GORGEOUS, LOVING, MANIPULATING, WONDERFUL, CONIVING, SWEET BASTARD. I HATE YOU.
yeah you get the point. it went on like that for, oh, a good hour or so. my brain screaming one thing, my mouth (backstabbing fuck) saying another.
boys, what will i do with this one?
oh and i really am a complete tard. but you love me, right?
moving on. oh, wait, thats right, i have nothing to move on to! haha, i almost forgot for a second there.
some people reviewed my journal (?) and gave me a three. whatever. ill just give a noncommital shrug and roll forwards.
ok. scott. talked to him on the phone. he said "guess what song i heard today?" and i said "gee...hmm...baby got back?" and he said "nooo...that sugar one. with the baby guy. about getting fly." and i said "oh. good song" and then there was nothing for a second and then he said "it makes me think of you a little bit."
SMACK. like someone hit me in the face with a brick. a heavy brick. so i sat there, with a mental bloody nose, searching frantically for a line. a phrase. a word. a GRUNT, anything. you know what genius me came up with?
"in a bad way or a good way?"
LIKE I REALLY ACTUALLY WANTED TO KNOW. LIKE I NEEDED ONE MORE HINT DROPPED, OR ONE MORE CONFUSING LINE THAT ZOOMS THROUGH MY EAR AND SLICES MY BRAIN INTO TINY LITTLE PEICES. I HAD TO ENCOURAGE THE BASTARD. I WAS FLIRTING WITH MY EX BOYFRIEND. FLIRTING. F.L.I.R.T.I.N.G. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??
he said "a good way. it made me smile. we were good together for a long time."
OH MY GOD. OH GOD. (this is the part where my brain just deflates) NOW WHAT, MEGHAN? YOU FUCKING IDIOT. NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY?
"we were, werent we? remember that song that you used to sing on my voice mail?"
SHUT UP! STOP! NO MORE! ENOUGH! TIME TO HANG UP! SAY BYE BYE!
"yeah, and you called me a perv? i thought that was a good song."
WELL YOU WOULD, WOULDNT YOU?! YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT SO THAT NO MATTER WHAT THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING AROUND MAKING ME THINK OF YOU. YOU ASS. YOU BASTARD. YOU GORGEOUS, LOVING, MANIPULATING, WONDERFUL, CONIVING, SWEET BASTARD. I HATE YOU.
yeah you get the point. it went on like that for, oh, a good hour or so. my brain screaming one thing, my mouth (backstabbing fuck) saying another.
boys, what will i do with this one?
oh and i really am a complete tard. but you love me, right?