Passive Agressive Notes
Today I was shown this site.
some of the notes found here aren’t really passive-aggressive even by our generous standards. some of these notes are really more aggressive in tone, and some of them are more passive - polite, even - but they all share a common sense of frustration that’s been channeled into written form rather than a direct confrontation. it’s barbed criticism disguised as something else - helpful advice, a funny joke, simple forgetfulness.
It brought to mind an example at The Company.
We have a shared kitchen area that includes a refrigerator, something fairly common at a workplace. The problem is people forget their food, and over days and weeks things start to get very ripe. Thus it was decided that once a month the fridge would be completely emptied and everything without a name and date would be trashed. Notes were posted on the fridge announcing this decision, and at least a week before the monthly purge a new note appeared with a bold red header warning everyone to date or label anything they didn’t want thrown away. For a few months all was well, but one day an angry note appeared on the fridge. The writer demanded to know threw away the three sodas from the fridge and that whoever took it replace it or repay the writer of the note or the offender would be reported to The Company security. The writer, though brazen enough to issue threats, was not convinced of their own righteousness enough to leave a contact name or number. Moreover, how can you report anyone to security when you don’t know whom to report? The individual who runs the fridge-cleaning schedule, J, left a note in response, explaining there have been notices for several months, and if anyone has any complaints, contact him. A couple days later the angry note was back. It was taken down again and thus far has not reappeared. For the rest of the week, though, people in our aisle kept asking J if he'd received any hate mail because $2 worth of sodas is srz business.
Browsing the passive aggressive site I came across this entry.
liza, a student at mississippi state university, was up late one night writing a paper when her roommate asked her to stop - the noise of her typing was keeping her up. “i had a paper to write and i didn’t think i was making enough noise to warrant moving my workstation outside, so, i stayed put,” liza says. “after she threw a huffing, puffing, tantrum and left to sleep in the lobby, i finished my paper and went to bed.”
Wow, this is also familiar, though it was while sharing a hotel room with a couple people that my example happened. It was late at night, but a friend and I were searching for a hotel at the next stop in our trip. The third person rooming with us was already in the far bed, so we had only the lamp by the table on and talked in infrequent whispers, but it was not the light nor the whispers that bothered him. It was the sound of the keyboard. He pulled his head out from under the pillow -- for that’s how he normally sleeps -- berated us for typing too loud, then ordered us to go to bed. Not sleepy yet, we wanted to play our DSes before bed, but the glow of the screen and click of the stylus would probably have sent him into a fury, so we hid under the covers like children. He never apologized for being such a world class grouch; it was obviously our fault for wanting to, you know, have fun on our vacation.
some of the notes found here aren’t really passive-aggressive even by our generous standards. some of these notes are really more aggressive in tone, and some of them are more passive - polite, even - but they all share a common sense of frustration that’s been channeled into written form rather than a direct confrontation. it’s barbed criticism disguised as something else - helpful advice, a funny joke, simple forgetfulness.
It brought to mind an example at The Company.
We have a shared kitchen area that includes a refrigerator, something fairly common at a workplace. The problem is people forget their food, and over days and weeks things start to get very ripe. Thus it was decided that once a month the fridge would be completely emptied and everything without a name and date would be trashed. Notes were posted on the fridge announcing this decision, and at least a week before the monthly purge a new note appeared with a bold red header warning everyone to date or label anything they didn’t want thrown away. For a few months all was well, but one day an angry note appeared on the fridge. The writer demanded to know threw away the three sodas from the fridge and that whoever took it replace it or repay the writer of the note or the offender would be reported to The Company security. The writer, though brazen enough to issue threats, was not convinced of their own righteousness enough to leave a contact name or number. Moreover, how can you report anyone to security when you don’t know whom to report? The individual who runs the fridge-cleaning schedule, J, left a note in response, explaining there have been notices for several months, and if anyone has any complaints, contact him. A couple days later the angry note was back. It was taken down again and thus far has not reappeared. For the rest of the week, though, people in our aisle kept asking J if he'd received any hate mail because $2 worth of sodas is srz business.
Browsing the passive aggressive site I came across this entry.
liza, a student at mississippi state university, was up late one night writing a paper when her roommate asked her to stop - the noise of her typing was keeping her up. “i had a paper to write and i didn’t think i was making enough noise to warrant moving my workstation outside, so, i stayed put,” liza says. “after she threw a huffing, puffing, tantrum and left to sleep in the lobby, i finished my paper and went to bed.”
Wow, this is also familiar, though it was while sharing a hotel room with a couple people that my example happened. It was late at night, but a friend and I were searching for a hotel at the next stop in our trip. The third person rooming with us was already in the far bed, so we had only the lamp by the table on and talked in infrequent whispers, but it was not the light nor the whispers that bothered him. It was the sound of the keyboard. He pulled his head out from under the pillow -- for that’s how he normally sleeps -- berated us for typing too loud, then ordered us to go to bed. Not sleepy yet, we wanted to play our DSes before bed, but the glow of the screen and click of the stylus would probably have sent him into a fury, so we hid under the covers like children. He never apologized for being such a world class grouch; it was obviously our fault for wanting to, you know, have fun on our vacation.