To Love You Painfully ch1
Title: To Love You Painfully (1/?)
Author: Kawaii_nachan
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, angst, SMUT
Warnings: Male x Male relationship, super bad English.
Pairing(s): Aoi x Uruha (mentioning a little Reita x Uruha)
Band(s): the GazettE
Disclaimer: Oh well, I've locked them in the cage unfortunately I don't own those beautiful boys, just the story... (TT w TT) *sob... sob...*
Summary: Uruha confessed his feeling to Reita, his childhood friend, on their graduation day. In the other side, there was Aoi who interested in Uruha. What was Reita's answer? And how about Aoi?
*~*To Love You Painfully*~*
'Reita-kun ga daisuki desu yo…'
That was what Reita heard-if he was not mistaken-from Uruha, his best friend since childhood. Uruha had confessed his feeling for Reita on the day of their Senior High graduation, at the rooftop. Nevertheless, Reita kept recalling those words in his mind up until a month later. That time, he answered his friend's confession by saying, 'Gomen na, Uruha-chan. I'm… Straight, so I can't accept your feeling. I'm just seeing you as my best friend, no more…'. Even Reita still remembered of how Uruha's face looked like after he said that to him.
He was very sad, indeed. But, he didn't say anything to make Reita changing his mind. He was just smiling though Reita knew it was a fake smile, or more correctly, a painful smile. He seemed anywhere near enough to cry, and then he said, 'Un. Daijoubu Reita-kun, I just want to tell you about my feeling. You don't have to accept me. But please… Let me still be your friend after this'. Thereafter, he turned back, went off to the downstairs slowly and disappeared from Reita's sight.
That was all the things Reita could remember. He sighed, "I probably hurt his feeling too much, and he doesn't give me any call up until now". Suddenly he felt his keitai vibrated and he thought that it could be Uruha, so he brought it out quickly of his jeans pocket. "Moshi-moshi. Reita desu", he said.
'Ah, Reita-kun! It's me Aoi'
'Aoi-kun, what's up?'
'Do you have time this afternoon? If you do, then how about we meet at our usual place?'
'Yeah, sure. By the way, is there any problem with you? Want to talk something important?'
'Hee~ do I need to have some problem if I want to chat with you? Come on, when was the last time we hanging out together, Reita-kun?'
'Aa. Wakatteru yo. I don't mean that, just asking, you know…'
After they did some chitchat Reita ended the call, though he felt a bit disappointed because that wasn't Uruha who called him. Okay, drink some beers won't kill me, right? He thought. (Author: so it means, you often drink beer before? Aw, you're still underage, Reita…)
~At the promised place~
Reita walked into the café, he was searching for Aoi's existence. He then saw the said man raised his hand to give him a sign. Reita apparently walked to Aoi, who sat on the corner. "Hi Reita-san! Long time no see…", Aoi greeted. "Hi. I'm not late, am I?", Reita asked. "No, you're not", Aoi answered as he shook his head a little. Reita pulled the chair and sat. "Hey, you look so bored, what happened?", Aoi began the conversation. "Well, there's something that disturbs my mind lately…", Reita responded.
"Hmm, I rarely find you have a problem. What's that? Maybe I can help, who knows", Aoi said. "…Eto, I had been confessed by someone", Reita spoke up. "Then you should be happy, right! Is she beautiful?", Aoi was full of curiosity. "….", Reita didn't answer. "Re-i-ta-kun?", Aoi spelt his friend's name to wake him up from his long thought. "Eh? Well… HE is beautiful, his face and figure is just like a woman", Reita finally answered. Hearing Reita said that made Aoi gasping.
"Nani? What do you mean?", Aoi asked as he raised an eyebrow. "Before I tell you, please keep this as a secret between us, okay?", Reita stared at Aoi seriously. "Okay, you can trust me, Reita-kun", Aoi gave a certain answer. Reita looked at him for few seconds, "So, that's as you heard it. A man had confessed me. And that was Uruha, my best friend", he said.
"Uruha? Oh, that childhood friend of yours?", Aoi crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned on his chair. Reita only nodded. "You often talk about him when we were hanging out, but I'm a bit surprised that he's gay", Aoi wrinkled his eyebrows. "Uh, I'm way more surprised! I mean, how come I didn't know that he's… you know... And we've become friends for almost six years!", Reita seemed bursting his feeling out. "What do you think, Aoi-san?", he added.
"Just give him to me…", Aoi said.
"What did you just say?", Reita doubted what he had heard just now.
"Well, Reita-kun, since you're not interested in him, it's okay if I make a move on him, isn't it?", Aoi asked. Reita's eyes widened, "Err, well, you're right, I'm not interested in him, but…", Reita seemed quite confused. "Come on, tell me what he look is like? I'm kind of curious…", Aoi grinned. Reita knew that Aoi was gay, and so he never discriminated him. He treated Aoi well, just like his other-straight-friends, without any differences. "Let me think… He's about the same height as a girl (Author: gomen ne uruha, I have to change about your height! XD), has a pretty face, his skin is white and smooth, I think. And he has a honey-blond hair…", Reita tried to describe well as he rubbed his chin. "Whoa~ in my mind, he must be looking so damn kawaii~!", Aoi looked so amazed.
"Ka-kawaii? Oh, maybe…", Reita forced a smile.
"I want to meet him. Can you introduce him to me?", Aoi asked. "Eh? Nani?", Reita looked surprised. "Yes, I want to meet him, can I?", Aoi asked again. "Um, yes you can. But I will ask him first in case he has another plan, since now's holiday…", Reita answered. "Okay, I'll wait for your confirmation!", Aoi said happily. "Let's order some drinks, then!", he added.
After waited for some minutes, their drinks came. "Say Reita-kun, what will you do now? I mean, you've graduated, so do you want to continue to college?", Aoi started a new conversation. "Hmm, I don't know… I haven't think about it, yet", Reita said as he drank a tin of beer. "You haven't think about it! Oh Gosh…", Aoi said in disbelief. "You must think about it even from before your graduation, when you were in 12th grade!", he added.
"Ahhahaha. You're right, but I think I don't want to continue with my study", Reita laughed. "Huh? So you want to just work now?", Aoi questioned. Reita nodded in agreement. "Good luck, wish you find a nice job and a sexy girlfriend! Hahaha", Aoi chuckled, he gave Reita two thumbs up. Reita smacked Aoi's head playfully as he smiled hearing that. "How about you, Aoi-kun?", Reita asked. "Boku? I won't continue with my study either", Aoi said. "I hope I can get a job which has the same place with you…", he added. "I hope so…", Reita said. Thereinafter, they continued with their chitchat until the clock read 8.00 p.m.
"Jaa na Reita-kun, and don't forget to tell Uruha…", Aoi said as he waved his hand to Reita, who was about to get on his motorcycle. Reita turned his head to Aoi and waved back, "Hai. Jaa na…", he answered. They both returned home. Reita didn't seem focus on his ride, fortunately he was able to reach home safely. After he arrived in front of his house, he got quite surprised to see who was standing in front of the gate. There was Uruha, who wore a purple T-shirt and black jeans.
"Eh? Uruha-chan?", Reita's mouth gaped open. "Hi Reita-kun", Uruha smiled. "Umm, what are you doing here at this time?", Reita questioned, he looked didn't know what to say. "Oh, I just want to see you… can I?", Uruha bit his lips. Without Reita noticed it, he thought that Uruha looks so cute that time, as Aoi had said. He even blushed up until his ears. "Reita-kun, daijoubu ka? Your face is red!", Uruha approached Reita quickly, he looked very worried.
"No…", Reita answered softly. Uruha became more worried. "Eh? I mean, I'm okay! Don't worry, Uruha-chan!", Reita clarified his words, made sure Uruha didn't go panic. Uruha sighed in satisfaction, "God, you made me worried Reita-kun!", he said. "Gomen… By the way, do you want to take a walk? It has been a long time since the last time we walked together along the way home from school", Reita offered. "Or do you want to get into my house? Okaa-san sure will greet you happily", he added. "Iie, I think I'll be going home now. Didn't I say before that I just want to see you?", Uruha responded. "Huh? You want to go home now? Okay. I'll walk you home", Reita said as he turned on his motorcycle's engine.
"Reita-kun, I'm not like the old days! I can go home by myself now. Besides, I'm not a girl!", Uruha pouted his lips. Reita realized it; he looked at the pouting Uruha. "I don't mean that, I-I just want to make sure you…", Reita cut his words. Uruha was staring at him seriously. "Nani? You just want what?", he asked. Reita shook his head immediately. "Nanimonai. Just forget about it!", he said nervously. Uruha raised one of his fine eyebrows. "Whatever, well, if you want to walk me home, then I think it's okay…", he rolled his eyes. "Ikou~", Reita shouted. "Geez, you still like when you were an elementary schooler!", Uruha laughed. So nice Reita wanted to… kiss him.
They walked together. Both kept silent, Reita really didn't know what he must say at a time like that. "Mmm, Uruha-chan, Gomen ne~", Reita suddenly said, making Uruha stopped his step. "What are you apologizing for?", he looked at Reita confusedly. "For rejected you that time", Reita muttered. Uruha's eyes widened, "…Reita-kun, I didn't force you to accept me, did I?", the blonde asked. "But…", Uruha cut Reita's words by placing his forefinger in front of Reita's lips. "Sssh, just forget about it. Onegai~", Uruha pleased. Now Reita felt even guiltier because he made Uruha remembering that event.
"By the way Uruha-chan, what do you do during the holidays?", Reita tried to change the subject. "Eh? I think I'll do nothing, just spending my holidays in my room, browse the internet, or something to kill the time… what about you?", Uruha asked curiously. "Eto, I don't know what to do. Maybe, looking for a job…", Reita said. Uruha gasped. "You want to work already? You don't want to go to college?", he looked in disbelief. "Yeah. I want to help my mom; you know that my dad had passed away. Therefore, I decided to work after I graduated. Even I already sent my job application form to one company two days ago…", Reita explained. Uruha just hummed. "So, you want to go to college?", Reita questioned. "…I think so. My parents probably won't allow me to work for now", Uruha answered.
"Ah, I almost forget! Since you have nothing to do in the holidays, what about if we go to somewhere? There's someone I want to introduce to you. He's a friend of mine", Reita shot.
"Mmm, I don't mind. When? And who's that person?", Uruha replied, he seemed full of curiosity. "How about the day after tomorrow at 3.00 p.m.? Because I'm going to my grandma's house tomorrow. Come on, you'll know that person when we meet him! Be patient, Uruha-chan", Reita teased as he giggled. "Okay, okay. I'll wait!", Uruha nodded. "Nee~ We've arrived. Thanks for walking me home, Reita-kun…", he thanked Reita. "Oh, I don't realize it. Hahaha. Okay, I'll be back home now. Jaa…", Reita said as he turned back. "Jaa. Ki o tsukete!", Uruha shouted. On the way, Reita dialed Aoi's number. After he heard Aoi's voice on the phone, he spoke. "Ah, this is Reita. Gomen to disturb you this late…".
'It's never mind. What's up?'
'About Uruha, I already asked him and he said he can'
'That's great, Reita-kun! Arigatou!'
'No problem. That's what a friend is for'
'By the way, when's the time?'
'Oh, we'll meet at our usual place the day after tomorrow, at 3.00 p.m. Is it okay with you, Aoi-kun?'
'Yeah, it's okay. Absolutely!'
'Osh. That's all. See you…'
'Okay, see you'
~The day after tomorrow~
"What a nice place!", Uruha said as he looked around inside the café. "How did you know about such place?", he added. "Hahaha. When I was walking around here with my friend that I'm going to tell you later, to buy something, I found this place", Reita answered. "And so, why you never bring me here! You're so cruel…", Uruha smacked Reita's shoulder gently. "Aw, gomen na… but at least I bring you here now!", Reita grinned widely. Uruha roared, making Reita laughed. "Eto, what are you two doing here exactly?", Uruha asked. "We occasionally meet here to spend the time", Reita said. Uruha mouthed 'O'.
"Nah, where's that friend of yours, Reita-kun?", Uruha questioned as he lifted his head to see clearly. Reita searched for Aoi's sign, 'Ah! There's him!", Reita pointed at the corner's direction. Uruha saw Aoi for the first time; however, he didn't feel anything towards Aoi. "Hi Aoi-kun!", Reita greeted. Aoi looked up at him and Uruha, "Hi guys!", he greeted back. "What are you waiting for? Just sit", he added. Reita pulled the chairs and sat, so did Uruha. He sat next to Reita, in front of Aoi.
"Okay Aoi-kun, this is Uruha. And Uruha-chan, this is Aoi, the person I want you to meet…", Reita introduced well. "H-Hi Uruha-san", Aoi said nervously as he bowed his head a little, his heart beat even faster. Uruha showed his best smile, he bowed a bit too. "Hi Aoi-san", he replied. Reita saw Aoi's expression; he looked so interested, indeed. They were drinking much, chatting so happily and even laughing to death over something ridiculous. Aoi and Uruha instantly became friends, good friends. Somehow, Reita felt a bit jealous over Aoi, but he didn't know what was the reason, he just tried so hard to ignore his own feeling.
"Anou, I think I'll go to bathroom", Reita made an excuse, he couldn't take it anymore, he wanted to pee because he thought that he had drunk too much. "Okay", said Aoi while Uruha just nodded. Not long after Reita disappeared from their sight, Aoi started a conversation. "I know it…", he suddenly said. It made Uruha turned at his direction and asked, "Huh? You know what?", he raised an eyebrow.
"I know that you love Reita-kun", Aoi murmured.
Uruha gasped, "H-how did you know?", but Aoi didn't answer, he looked to another side. "Please Aoi-san, did he tell you that…?", Uruha went panic. The taller man finally gave an answer; he shook his head, "Nope. Just from the way you look at him, it obviously shows your feeling towards him…", he explained. "Plus, other people might know too", he added.
Uruha wrinkled his eyebrows, "Hontou?", he asked, half afraid to hear Aoi's answer. Aoi shrugged in agreement, "Well, that's only my opinion. But it seems my words have stabbed your heart, are they not?", he smirked, teasing Uruha purposely. "…do you feel disgusted at me?", Uruha responded. "You know… I'm gay", he added. "Iie, definitely not. Do you want to know why?", Aoi asked back. Uruha stared at him curiously. "Why, Aoi-san?", he said. "Because I'm gay as well", Aoi answered. That answer made Uruha's mouth gaped open; he then covered it with his one hand. "Are you serious?", he questioned. "Yes", Aoi said clearly, no doubt.
While Uruha kept thinking about Aoi's words, Aoi took it as a chance to send Reita a message. 'Reita-kun, could you leave us two now? I'm trying to make a move on Uru-chan…', message sent. Reita received it a second later, when he was about to come back to them.
Nani? He already calls Uruha-chan that way… so it means they've become closer now. Aoi sure made a fast move… he thought.
Suddenly his keitai vibrated, he got a call. "Moshi-moshi. Oh, Ruki-kun. What's up?", he answered. After some minutes, he was talking on the phone with Ruki-his friend-who helped him with the job vacancy, he ended the call. "Oh man, I have to go now!", Reita said to himself. It seemed that his job application form rang a bell, so he had to come to the said place to confirm about it.
He wasted no time to reply Aoi. He typed it quickly. 'Okay. You ask it just in the right time. I've got to hurry now, so I'll be going back. Tell Uruha about that. Good luck!', was Reita's reply. Aoi got the answer, he felt very happy. "Eto, Reita-kun is so long. What is he doing there in the bathroom?", Uruha finally realized. "Oh, maybe he won't back here. He just sent me a message that he has to go. Even it seems he got to hurry", Aoi replied. "Eh? He said that? But why he didn't tell me…?", Uruha pouted.
"Come on Uruha-san, just let him go. We'll have fun here…", Aoi said as he flickered his fingers, meant to call the waitress. He ordered more beers. Uruha only sighed in annoyance, but he couldn't help but did as Aoi said. They spent the time by drinking beers; Uruha sounded didn't care about himself anymore. He just wanted to forget his painful memory, when Reita rejected him. It wasn't like he didn't like Reita anymore, but he wanted to erase that memory. Only that memory. And hoped that was just a nightmare.
~End of Chapter 1~
Note: wew, another series beside that despa trilogy. I'm just in the mood to make a longer story with few chapters. Hahaha. XD
Comment will be much appreciated. Sankyuu~