Never Too Late - R
Title: Never Too Late
Author: Kavikalphawolf
Band/Pairing: Implied Saga/Shou [alice nine.]
Rating: R
Genre: Major Angst
Prompt: 3. Suicide (For 10_hurt_comfort)
Warnings: Unbeta'd. Character Death.
Disclaimer: Do not own these guys.
Comment(s): I really have nothing to say about this other than sorry for it being so short. Also, this will probably have a sequel.
Summary: Depression is a sad, sad thing.
Saga stared down the gun he held in his hand. It was loaded, cocked, and ready to shoot at any moment. All he had to do was pull the trigger. But that was the trouble. He couldn't.
So many thoughts swam in his head as he reclined on the bed he shared with his dearly beloved boyfriend, Shou. Their life revolved around that bed. That's where they slept at night, where they made love, wrote songs, played, reclined, so on and so forth. Just by sitting on it so many pleasant memories ran through his head. Moments where he and Shou were a mass of tangled limbs, giggling and laughing about something or other. Or where they were making out as either a prelude or epilogue of sex. They were moments that would never be forgotten he was sure.
To Saga, Shou was perfect. The epitome of everything he had ever wanted to be. The singer was tall, beautiful, and had just the right personality to draw people in. It was still a wonder to Saga how he had managed to get with the older man and be able to share such intimate memories with him, and everytime he thought about it, he cried.
This time was no different. Tears cascaded down his pale cheeks as choked sobs escaped his lips. Two of Shou's cats that were lounging on the bed with him turned their heads his way, as if wanting to inquire of what was wrong with him. Why he could be so sad on such a perfect day: His and Shou's two-year anniversary, a day they had been looking forward to for so long.
The day held great significance to both of them and at once it had been for the exact same reason, but now, it was different. Saga didn't feel as though he could bear to burden Shou any longer. The bassist felt as if he was such an imperfect being that his mere presence bothered people. His bandmates were no help to get him to think otherwise, but that was only because they didn't know how much their words hurt him sometimes. Whenever they called him unpopular or something of the like it stung deep, even though he tried to hide it.
Shou had taken notice of it at first and had comforted him, stopping his playful jeers after that, but Saga had told him he was fine and not to say anything to the other guys, which the singer didn't. Maybe Saga was at fault for that one.
His eyes travelled to the paper he held in his other hand, a note to everyone explaining why he would be going through with this. It told all of his thoughts of self-worthlessness, of how he believed Shou and the band deserved a better person than he could be. It told everyone not to blame themselves because of this, due to the fact Saga believed it was no one's fault but his own. He was just a waste of life and person in his eyes.
Carefully he unfolded and read over the messy hand-writing. He felt pathetic for half of the words written, but if this was going to be the last thing he would ever say to anyone he had to express himself fully, no matter how awful or pathetic the writing and words were.
Shou would read them first, he was sure. Then whoever Shou chose to call, which would either be an ambulance or Nao. Sometimes the singer neglected to call who was needed to be called if he wasn't sure about something or needed comfort, which he might need after this. Saga wasn't entirely sure.
Back when the singer had had the wreck in the taxi, Saga remembered being the first who was called. No ambulance, no 911, no nothing. It had alarmed him and relieved him all at once, but it had been stupid on Shou's part. Not that much could have been done by that point. And it wasn't like the wreck had been at all serious. It had just scared Shou into calling the one man with whom he felt the safest: Saga.
With a small cry, Saga looked with watery eyes at the gun he held. It would be so easy to take his life with it. To give Shou the chance to get with someone better and give the band as a whole to get a better bassist with a greater personality and looks. Maybe even more talent.
Saga's depression sank lower at those thoughts and he no longer had any doubts whatsoever about doing it. With a shaking hand he brought it to the side of his head and closed his eyes. Tears leaked even harder down his face and off his chin as he continued to think of Shou and his friends, even his family and his canine companion. "I'm sorry."
It would be the last words to ever leave his mouth as he finally found the strength to pull the trigger tight and release the bullet with a deafening sound that sent the cats running out of the room as the now-lifeless, bloody body of a once confident and youthful man hit the bed, never to move of his own accord again.
Author: Kavikalphawolf
Band/Pairing: Implied Saga/Shou [alice nine.]
Rating: R
Genre: Major Angst
Prompt: 3. Suicide (For 10_hurt_comfort)
Warnings: Unbeta'd. Character Death.
Disclaimer: Do not own these guys.
Comment(s): I really have nothing to say about this other than sorry for it being so short. Also, this will probably have a sequel.
Summary: Depression is a sad, sad thing.
Saga stared down the gun he held in his hand. It was loaded, cocked, and ready to shoot at any moment. All he had to do was pull the trigger. But that was the trouble. He couldn't.
So many thoughts swam in his head as he reclined on the bed he shared with his dearly beloved boyfriend, Shou. Their life revolved around that bed. That's where they slept at night, where they made love, wrote songs, played, reclined, so on and so forth. Just by sitting on it so many pleasant memories ran through his head. Moments where he and Shou were a mass of tangled limbs, giggling and laughing about something or other. Or where they were making out as either a prelude or epilogue of sex. They were moments that would never be forgotten he was sure.
To Saga, Shou was perfect. The epitome of everything he had ever wanted to be. The singer was tall, beautiful, and had just the right personality to draw people in. It was still a wonder to Saga how he had managed to get with the older man and be able to share such intimate memories with him, and everytime he thought about it, he cried.
This time was no different. Tears cascaded down his pale cheeks as choked sobs escaped his lips. Two of Shou's cats that were lounging on the bed with him turned their heads his way, as if wanting to inquire of what was wrong with him. Why he could be so sad on such a perfect day: His and Shou's two-year anniversary, a day they had been looking forward to for so long.
The day held great significance to both of them and at once it had been for the exact same reason, but now, it was different. Saga didn't feel as though he could bear to burden Shou any longer. The bassist felt as if he was such an imperfect being that his mere presence bothered people. His bandmates were no help to get him to think otherwise, but that was only because they didn't know how much their words hurt him sometimes. Whenever they called him unpopular or something of the like it stung deep, even though he tried to hide it.
Shou had taken notice of it at first and had comforted him, stopping his playful jeers after that, but Saga had told him he was fine and not to say anything to the other guys, which the singer didn't. Maybe Saga was at fault for that one.
His eyes travelled to the paper he held in his other hand, a note to everyone explaining why he would be going through with this. It told all of his thoughts of self-worthlessness, of how he believed Shou and the band deserved a better person than he could be. It told everyone not to blame themselves because of this, due to the fact Saga believed it was no one's fault but his own. He was just a waste of life and person in his eyes.
Carefully he unfolded and read over the messy hand-writing. He felt pathetic for half of the words written, but if this was going to be the last thing he would ever say to anyone he had to express himself fully, no matter how awful or pathetic the writing and words were.
Shou would read them first, he was sure. Then whoever Shou chose to call, which would either be an ambulance or Nao. Sometimes the singer neglected to call who was needed to be called if he wasn't sure about something or needed comfort, which he might need after this. Saga wasn't entirely sure.
Back when the singer had had the wreck in the taxi, Saga remembered being the first who was called. No ambulance, no 911, no nothing. It had alarmed him and relieved him all at once, but it had been stupid on Shou's part. Not that much could have been done by that point. And it wasn't like the wreck had been at all serious. It had just scared Shou into calling the one man with whom he felt the safest: Saga.
With a small cry, Saga looked with watery eyes at the gun he held. It would be so easy to take his life with it. To give Shou the chance to get with someone better and give the band as a whole to get a better bassist with a greater personality and looks. Maybe even more talent.
Saga's depression sank lower at those thoughts and he no longer had any doubts whatsoever about doing it. With a shaking hand he brought it to the side of his head and closed his eyes. Tears leaked even harder down his face and off his chin as he continued to think of Shou and his friends, even his family and his canine companion. "I'm sorry."
It would be the last words to ever leave his mouth as he finally found the strength to pull the trigger tight and release the bullet with a deafening sound that sent the cats running out of the room as the now-lifeless, bloody body of a once confident and youthful man hit the bed, never to move of his own accord again.