Perplexing Dislike - 1/3
Title: Perplexing Dislike
Author: Kavikalphawolf
Band/Pairing: Uruha/Aoi [GazettE]
Chapter: 1/3
Rating: NC-17 (Over all)
Genre: Angst/Fluff/Smut
Warnings: Unbeta'd. ManxMan.
Disclaimer: Do not own these guys.
Comment(s): Decided to do this on a whim. It was a one-shot I merely got carried away with. XD Also it's sort of snowballed off of Aoi's infamous MusiQ interview.
Summary: Uruha has been distant and so very spiteful towards Aoi recently, but the older man has had enough and finally decides to demand an answer from Uruha.
"Here's a key for both of you to use in your hotel room." The bandleader spoke up, giving one of the pieces of hardened plastic to Uruha and then one just the same to Aoi, making the both of them blink a bit. Uruha even frowned at what Kai was insinuating with that.
"Wait, room? As in we're sharing one?" Uruha asked, looking at the drummer as if he were crazy.
Aoi couldn't help but take a small bit of offense to the incredulous tone Uruha used. As if it were the worst thing in the world to have to share a hotel room with him for one night, possibly two. He did his best to hide the bit of hurt, though, with a little good-natured humor. "I think that's what he means when he gives us duplicate keys." His tone was light and playful, and he wasn't prepared for the scowl he recieved in response. It made him turn his attention elsewhere and give Kai and Uruha their time alone to chat this out.
The bandleader seemed perplexed by Uruha's attitude too, but he couldn't express that over his annoyance. "Yes Uruha. No arguements about arrangements. I mean it." He replied shortly, ready to just drag his messenger bag of clothes and such up the stairs and to his room so he could sleep. It had been a long and tiring live and he needed rest for the one in another day or so. Ruki and Reita had already been given their keys and were heading to their room. Oh how Kai wished it were that easy for him to do.
Instead of sticking around to hear the rest of their conversation, Aoi just turned and started up the stairs with his bag slung over his shoulder. It was disconcerting to hear that the other man didn't really want to share a room with him and he could feel the hurt welling in his chest. What had he done to make Uruha dislike him so much?
He shrugged as the familiar question surged through his mind and sighed as he reached his hotel room. Gently he slid the plastic key into the lock mechanism and quickly brought it out, waiting for the green light before entering. His gaze followed the expanse of the small room, taking in the homey feel it seemed to have. There was a kitchen, a bathroom, two twin-sized beds, a living room with a small couch and a television, and then there was another television in the bedroom for convience. It was actually a rather nice hotel room, he had to admit.
Leaving the door open for Uruha when he came up, Aoi set his bag down on one of the beds closest to the air conditioner and sought out the bathroom. After briefly using the toilet he decided that maybe a shower would be nice to wash away the sweat he had accumulated during the live. Therefore after locking the bathroom door, he turned on the water in the shower, waiting for it to warm up.
As he waited he stripped down out of his jeans, boxers, and t-shirt, and set them aside to put in his bag later. Then he pulled off his assorted jewelry and also set them aside. Since the water still wasn't warm after he had done those things, he just went and stood in front of the mirror, eyeing himself intently. No he wasn't vain. More like he was seeking out his flaws. To him they were easy to spot, even if to anyone else they weren't flaws. His skinny body--too skinny as it showed his ribcage quite a bit--the dark circles under his eyes, his pouty lips that weren't cute, his long face...he could go on forever, but he never did. It only served to blow what self-esteem he had to bits.
Another sigh and he was going over to see the temperature of the water. It was now generally warm, so he stepped inside the shower and started to wash himself off. As he did those thoughts of Uruha returned. Of the way the other man was never really friendly with him unless they were in the eye of the public. Again and again he had tried to see what was wrong and make it all right, but everytime his hope of fixing their friendship dwindled because Uruha never responded positively. Either he would say Aoi was reading too much into it or he would get angry. Then it would spiral into an arguement--his temper was another of his flaws, Aoi knew well--and their relationship would falter even further. It was killing Aoi, the guitarist was certain. Uruha had been his closest friend in the beginning since they had the most in common. Where had it all gone? Aoi wished he knew.
Before he knew it, Aoi could feel tears sliding down his cheeks amongst the water of the shower. He was ashamed of it too because he shouldn't cry over it. Guys did not cry when their best male friend rejected their friendship. That was something girls did and Aoi knew well he wasn't a girl. "So stupid." He muttered, fighting back the emotion he always had kept pent up too. He wasn't close enough with the others to cry in front of them and he doubted Uruha would care if he did it in front of him. It probably wouldn't faze the younger man.
Knowing that only hurt worse and Aoi knew he needed to get out of the shower soon before his emotion overwhelmed him too much. Gently he wiped his eyes and quickly rid his body of the suds he had on his body from washing--already having done his hair.
Aoi took a deep breath when he exited the shower, making sure to dry off his hair and face first before wrapping the towel around his waist. He glanced at himself in the mirror--after wiping the fog off of it--and made sure his eyes weren't too red or watery. Satisfied that they weren't he grabbed his things and left the bathroom, surprised that upon leaving he was already assaulted with Uruha's harsh words.
"Did you want your stuff stolen?" He asked, his tone snappish and irritated, something he only used on Aoi.
Blinking in confusion, Aoi walked over to his bed. "What?" He placed his dirty clothes in a plastic bag inside his shoulder bag, though his gaze was quickly drawn back to the other guitarist.
Rolling his eyes, Uruha turned off the television he had been watching in the bedroom portion of their hotel room and looked over at Aoi. "You left the door open even though you were in the shower. That's invitation for someone to just come in and steal your stuff."
Aoi hadn't thought of that, so he only hung his head a bit, digging for some clean boxers and pajamas to wear. "I just wanted to leave it open for you." He replied shortly, already emotional and trying to keep it from his voice by seeming angry instead. "Forgive me for giving a damn about my bandmate."
"I have a key. You saw Kai give me one, so why the hell would that be qualified as giving a damn?" Aoi's eyes narrowed as he brought his gaze to meet Uruha's once more. He wasn't happy with the other man, though he wasn't quite angry either. He was somewhere in the middle of exasperated and upset, but Uruha couldn't see that evidently as he continued his little tirade. "And did you not think I might want to use the shower too? Did you even leave any hot water?"
The words were getting to him as the moments ticked by, so Aoi just decided on not responding. His attention went back to his clothes and he let the towel fall from his hips, only to be replaced by boxers and pajama bottoms a moment later.
"I thought not." Uruha snorted, getting off the bed and heading to the bathroom anyway, Aoi rolling his eyes at his bandmate's agitation with him. He knew he should be used to it by now, but he really wasn't. At first he had thought that the two of them sharing a hotel would be nice and they'd get to talk like they used to, but he was wrong.
When the door was shut behind Uruha, Aoi collapsed onto the bed, shoving his bag off and letting it hit the floor unceremoniously. He crawled up and buried his face into one of the pillows, emitting a muffled scream of frustration and thrashing his limbs briefly in a slight tantrum as he did so. Only then-breathing hard from the effort-did he let the tears fall again, soaking the pillow's fabric. He didn't really care if Uruha saw him like that: vulnerable with his shoulders shaking from his sobs. Maybe he'd lay off him if he did. Or knock some sense into him, one.
His hands held to the pillow as if it were his life-line as he cried out his sorrow and frustration at not being able to repair the bridge with his friend. Being on the recieving end of such harsh words everyday was really getting to him. Especially when he'd started having doubts that he just liked Uruha as a friend. When he figured his feelings may run deeper. It confused him quite a bit, but he didn't get the chance to think much on it when he was already pre-occupied with trying to figure out what was bothering Uruha. "What did I do?" He cried softly into the pillow, "Why the hell do I deserve this?!"
The click signalling the bathroom door opening made him stop talking and just simply cry. There was a long silence and the sound of Uruha's bare feet on the wooden floor as he walked back to his bed. "Oh so you're crying now? What are you? A girl?" That was it. Aoi had had it.
Shooting up from his position on the bed, Aoi glared daggers over at Uruha even though his eyes were red and dripping tears. "Why the fuck do you think you have to fucking degrade me all the time?! What did I ever do to you?!" He yelled, not caring that it could probably be heard in other rooms. "I try to be a good friend and do all in my power to help you out and be nice to you, but all you do is fucking get mad or something like it! Why, Uruha?! Why, goddammit, why?! W-Why...?" It was a choked sob now as he let his arms fall to his sides out of pure defeat, the look in his eyes lost and upset as he gazed at Uruha.
Uruha was taken aback by Aoi's outburst, having paused in searching through his bag for clean clothes. He had never expected Aoi to react like this. At a loss as to what to do, he sighed and walked over to sit himself on the side of Aoi's bed. He looked at the other man with a bit of sympathy within his gaze that quickly turned into something akin to nervousness. Aoi's eyes followed him as he sat down, unsure if he should move back from the other man or not.
"Listen, Aoi...." Uruha started, sighing again. He could now see how greatly his actions were taking a toll on the older man. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to really make you upset." Aoi only glared at that, as if to say, "Well you did." and Uruha quickly noticed, feeling a bit pained himself but not showing it.
"I do it because....because...." He couldn't say it. He had never even fully admitted it to himself. Still, he had to say something. "Well, blatantly, I'm attracted to you....erm...sexually." Well, that was true, but not the entire truth.
Aoi just gave him a odd look as a response. "What? That's all? You want to bed me?" He wasn't apalled by the idea and that made him really wonder about his feelings towards Uruha once more. "Hell, if that's it, I'll let you sleep with me, Uruha."
The tall guitarist's eyes widened and he knew this was an easy way out of admitting the fact he was truly in love with the other man. "You would? Seriously? I thought for sure you were straight."
Wiping away the residue of tears on his face, Aoi half-laughed. "In this business? You've got to be kidding me. It's practically in the job description to be at least bisexual." That made Uruha chuckle a bit himself, Aoi glad to finally be able to hear that sound again with him causing it. "I'm serious, though, Uruha. If you want me for a night feel free to have me." He really hated how much like a whore he sounded right then. But then again he'd be a whore for Uruha any day. Yet another confusing thought.
Uruha nodded softly, unsure at first. "What if...I want you tonight?"
"Then by all means, have me."
Author: Kavikalphawolf
Band/Pairing: Uruha/Aoi [GazettE]
Chapter: 1/3
Rating: NC-17 (Over all)
Genre: Angst/Fluff/Smut
Warnings: Unbeta'd. ManxMan.
Disclaimer: Do not own these guys.
Comment(s): Decided to do this on a whim. It was a one-shot I merely got carried away with. XD Also it's sort of snowballed off of Aoi's infamous MusiQ interview.
Summary: Uruha has been distant and so very spiteful towards Aoi recently, but the older man has had enough and finally decides to demand an answer from Uruha.
"Here's a key for both of you to use in your hotel room." The bandleader spoke up, giving one of the pieces of hardened plastic to Uruha and then one just the same to Aoi, making the both of them blink a bit. Uruha even frowned at what Kai was insinuating with that.
"Wait, room? As in we're sharing one?" Uruha asked, looking at the drummer as if he were crazy.
Aoi couldn't help but take a small bit of offense to the incredulous tone Uruha used. As if it were the worst thing in the world to have to share a hotel room with him for one night, possibly two. He did his best to hide the bit of hurt, though, with a little good-natured humor. "I think that's what he means when he gives us duplicate keys." His tone was light and playful, and he wasn't prepared for the scowl he recieved in response. It made him turn his attention elsewhere and give Kai and Uruha their time alone to chat this out.
The bandleader seemed perplexed by Uruha's attitude too, but he couldn't express that over his annoyance. "Yes Uruha. No arguements about arrangements. I mean it." He replied shortly, ready to just drag his messenger bag of clothes and such up the stairs and to his room so he could sleep. It had been a long and tiring live and he needed rest for the one in another day or so. Ruki and Reita had already been given their keys and were heading to their room. Oh how Kai wished it were that easy for him to do.
Instead of sticking around to hear the rest of their conversation, Aoi just turned and started up the stairs with his bag slung over his shoulder. It was disconcerting to hear that the other man didn't really want to share a room with him and he could feel the hurt welling in his chest. What had he done to make Uruha dislike him so much?
He shrugged as the familiar question surged through his mind and sighed as he reached his hotel room. Gently he slid the plastic key into the lock mechanism and quickly brought it out, waiting for the green light before entering. His gaze followed the expanse of the small room, taking in the homey feel it seemed to have. There was a kitchen, a bathroom, two twin-sized beds, a living room with a small couch and a television, and then there was another television in the bedroom for convience. It was actually a rather nice hotel room, he had to admit.
Leaving the door open for Uruha when he came up, Aoi set his bag down on one of the beds closest to the air conditioner and sought out the bathroom. After briefly using the toilet he decided that maybe a shower would be nice to wash away the sweat he had accumulated during the live. Therefore after locking the bathroom door, he turned on the water in the shower, waiting for it to warm up.
As he waited he stripped down out of his jeans, boxers, and t-shirt, and set them aside to put in his bag later. Then he pulled off his assorted jewelry and also set them aside. Since the water still wasn't warm after he had done those things, he just went and stood in front of the mirror, eyeing himself intently. No he wasn't vain. More like he was seeking out his flaws. To him they were easy to spot, even if to anyone else they weren't flaws. His skinny body--too skinny as it showed his ribcage quite a bit--the dark circles under his eyes, his pouty lips that weren't cute, his long face...he could go on forever, but he never did. It only served to blow what self-esteem he had to bits.
Another sigh and he was going over to see the temperature of the water. It was now generally warm, so he stepped inside the shower and started to wash himself off. As he did those thoughts of Uruha returned. Of the way the other man was never really friendly with him unless they were in the eye of the public. Again and again he had tried to see what was wrong and make it all right, but everytime his hope of fixing their friendship dwindled because Uruha never responded positively. Either he would say Aoi was reading too much into it or he would get angry. Then it would spiral into an arguement--his temper was another of his flaws, Aoi knew well--and their relationship would falter even further. It was killing Aoi, the guitarist was certain. Uruha had been his closest friend in the beginning since they had the most in common. Where had it all gone? Aoi wished he knew.
Before he knew it, Aoi could feel tears sliding down his cheeks amongst the water of the shower. He was ashamed of it too because he shouldn't cry over it. Guys did not cry when their best male friend rejected their friendship. That was something girls did and Aoi knew well he wasn't a girl. "So stupid." He muttered, fighting back the emotion he always had kept pent up too. He wasn't close enough with the others to cry in front of them and he doubted Uruha would care if he did it in front of him. It probably wouldn't faze the younger man.
Knowing that only hurt worse and Aoi knew he needed to get out of the shower soon before his emotion overwhelmed him too much. Gently he wiped his eyes and quickly rid his body of the suds he had on his body from washing--already having done his hair.
Aoi took a deep breath when he exited the shower, making sure to dry off his hair and face first before wrapping the towel around his waist. He glanced at himself in the mirror--after wiping the fog off of it--and made sure his eyes weren't too red or watery. Satisfied that they weren't he grabbed his things and left the bathroom, surprised that upon leaving he was already assaulted with Uruha's harsh words.
"Did you want your stuff stolen?" He asked, his tone snappish and irritated, something he only used on Aoi.
Blinking in confusion, Aoi walked over to his bed. "What?" He placed his dirty clothes in a plastic bag inside his shoulder bag, though his gaze was quickly drawn back to the other guitarist.
Rolling his eyes, Uruha turned off the television he had been watching in the bedroom portion of their hotel room and looked over at Aoi. "You left the door open even though you were in the shower. That's invitation for someone to just come in and steal your stuff."
Aoi hadn't thought of that, so he only hung his head a bit, digging for some clean boxers and pajamas to wear. "I just wanted to leave it open for you." He replied shortly, already emotional and trying to keep it from his voice by seeming angry instead. "Forgive me for giving a damn about my bandmate."
"I have a key. You saw Kai give me one, so why the hell would that be qualified as giving a damn?" Aoi's eyes narrowed as he brought his gaze to meet Uruha's once more. He wasn't happy with the other man, though he wasn't quite angry either. He was somewhere in the middle of exasperated and upset, but Uruha couldn't see that evidently as he continued his little tirade. "And did you not think I might want to use the shower too? Did you even leave any hot water?"
The words were getting to him as the moments ticked by, so Aoi just decided on not responding. His attention went back to his clothes and he let the towel fall from his hips, only to be replaced by boxers and pajama bottoms a moment later.
"I thought not." Uruha snorted, getting off the bed and heading to the bathroom anyway, Aoi rolling his eyes at his bandmate's agitation with him. He knew he should be used to it by now, but he really wasn't. At first he had thought that the two of them sharing a hotel would be nice and they'd get to talk like they used to, but he was wrong.
When the door was shut behind Uruha, Aoi collapsed onto the bed, shoving his bag off and letting it hit the floor unceremoniously. He crawled up and buried his face into one of the pillows, emitting a muffled scream of frustration and thrashing his limbs briefly in a slight tantrum as he did so. Only then-breathing hard from the effort-did he let the tears fall again, soaking the pillow's fabric. He didn't really care if Uruha saw him like that: vulnerable with his shoulders shaking from his sobs. Maybe he'd lay off him if he did. Or knock some sense into him, one.
His hands held to the pillow as if it were his life-line as he cried out his sorrow and frustration at not being able to repair the bridge with his friend. Being on the recieving end of such harsh words everyday was really getting to him. Especially when he'd started having doubts that he just liked Uruha as a friend. When he figured his feelings may run deeper. It confused him quite a bit, but he didn't get the chance to think much on it when he was already pre-occupied with trying to figure out what was bothering Uruha. "What did I do?" He cried softly into the pillow, "Why the hell do I deserve this?!"
The click signalling the bathroom door opening made him stop talking and just simply cry. There was a long silence and the sound of Uruha's bare feet on the wooden floor as he walked back to his bed. "Oh so you're crying now? What are you? A girl?" That was it. Aoi had had it.
Shooting up from his position on the bed, Aoi glared daggers over at Uruha even though his eyes were red and dripping tears. "Why the fuck do you think you have to fucking degrade me all the time?! What did I ever do to you?!" He yelled, not caring that it could probably be heard in other rooms. "I try to be a good friend and do all in my power to help you out and be nice to you, but all you do is fucking get mad or something like it! Why, Uruha?! Why, goddammit, why?! W-Why...?" It was a choked sob now as he let his arms fall to his sides out of pure defeat, the look in his eyes lost and upset as he gazed at Uruha.
Uruha was taken aback by Aoi's outburst, having paused in searching through his bag for clean clothes. He had never expected Aoi to react like this. At a loss as to what to do, he sighed and walked over to sit himself on the side of Aoi's bed. He looked at the other man with a bit of sympathy within his gaze that quickly turned into something akin to nervousness. Aoi's eyes followed him as he sat down, unsure if he should move back from the other man or not.
"Listen, Aoi...." Uruha started, sighing again. He could now see how greatly his actions were taking a toll on the older man. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to really make you upset." Aoi only glared at that, as if to say, "Well you did." and Uruha quickly noticed, feeling a bit pained himself but not showing it.
"I do it because....because...." He couldn't say it. He had never even fully admitted it to himself. Still, he had to say something. "Well, blatantly, I'm attracted to you....erm...sexually." Well, that was true, but not the entire truth.
Aoi just gave him a odd look as a response. "What? That's all? You want to bed me?" He wasn't apalled by the idea and that made him really wonder about his feelings towards Uruha once more. "Hell, if that's it, I'll let you sleep with me, Uruha."
The tall guitarist's eyes widened and he knew this was an easy way out of admitting the fact he was truly in love with the other man. "You would? Seriously? I thought for sure you were straight."
Wiping away the residue of tears on his face, Aoi half-laughed. "In this business? You've got to be kidding me. It's practically in the job description to be at least bisexual." That made Uruha chuckle a bit himself, Aoi glad to finally be able to hear that sound again with him causing it. "I'm serious, though, Uruha. If you want me for a night feel free to have me." He really hated how much like a whore he sounded right then. But then again he'd be a whore for Uruha any day. Yet another confusing thought.
Uruha nodded softly, unsure at first. "What if...I want you tonight?"
"Then by all means, have me."