Kiss it all Better // R // Reita/Ruki
Title: Kiss it all Better
Pairings/Characters: Reita/Ruki (Main)
Rating: R
Warnings: Hate crime // Man love
Notes: Muse ran away with me on this one. XD I apologize.
Summary: What a creeper.
The first day that Ruki showed up at the gym Reita had garnered the same mentality as everyone else in that room.
How could someone that small possibly hope to train here and be any good at it?
But then the more Reita thought, as his hands slammed into the punching bag, feeling the weight and hardness of the object even through his gloves, he realized that maybe the small man had something to prove. Maybe he was fighting for something more.
That became rather evident in the ferocity of Ruki's movements as he attacked a similar punching bag, but a few feet from the nosebanded man. Peering from behind bangs of black and bleached blonde, Reita kept his gaze averted to the smaller male, even as his hands moved in swift unison just as they always did. He wasn't even a fighter. Reita only trained to be self-aware, to have the security that he could defend himself if the need came for it. Working out wasn't his life, or even his passion. It slipped in between work and school, just like any other pastime.
Now, Reita wondered if that could be said for Ruki as well, because as the taller man took a step back and stretched his arms, feeling the burn, and the sweat dripping, he noticed the pure viciousness in the eyes of the brunette across from him. It was amazing, exhilirating.
It was also impossible to keep from staring, or even notice that he was doing so, until Ruki looked up in between his punches and caught his gaze. Reita swallowed hard, but kept a calm look, even as he casually looked away and reached for his bottle of water a few steps from him on that ever familiar stool.
Turning his sweaty back to Ruki, he took a few gulps, faintly hearing the intensity of those hits increase, and then slowly come to an end. He fought to keep from looking back, instead eyeing the ring and how empty it looked right now.
"Hey."
The voice startled Reita, but he kept from jolting simply by force. Turning around, he came face to face with the small brunette, seeing those dark eyes up close, and just how small he really was. It was much easier to see in the way Ruki's sweaty torso was shirtless, much unlike Reita's own, which he was surprisingly self-concious about, though he would never admit it.
"Hey."
Reita didn't know how else to reply, as he capped his water bottle again and then cast it aside. From behind those same bangs and his noseband, he offered the smaller man a curious, but guarded look, which was returned.
"Would you spar with me? There's only so much a punching bag can do."
Ruki's expression betrayed little more than that genuine curiosity, and Reita was fine with that. He didn't get many offers to spar, but he supposed that was because without girlfriends here to cheer them on, not many men were willing to put on a show lest their pride be bested in the company of so many other men.
"Yeah, sure."
The brunette nodded lightly and walked away. For a moment Reita watched him, then he reached for his own towel and dabbed his face with it, clearing it of the salty water that dripped down. Most of it was caught by his noseband, but what wasn't had a tendency to make him itch when it started to cool off.
Tossing his towel off to the side when he was finished, Reita reattached his gloves and then climbed into the ring where Ruki was already waiting. The two assumed a defensive posture, sizing one another up, and Reita noticed something flash in those eyes. Only for a brief moment, and then it was gone, and Ruki was coming at him.
Delayed, Reita could only dodge so much before he was hit in the gut, causing him to gasp, but then he swung back, aiming for the side of the smaller man's face. Ruki was quick, and he hit harder than Reita would have expected. He was using that same intensity as before, but worse. This time he really did seem like he had something to prove. Reita could feel the hits piling up, and his own inexperience suddenly came back to haunt him. Ruki backed him into a corner and continued to hit a few more times before Reita uttered, "I give." and it was over.
Ruki backed off and offered a raised brow, somewhat amused, it seemed, as Reita peered up from his spot nearly on the ring floor, feeling his pride a little less battered than his body was. Only a little, though.
"You're like a demon." Reita muttered after a moment, unsure if he was going to be mocked, or if this would actually just be all in good fun.
It seemed the latter was his reward.
"It's what I do." Ruki adjusted his gloves and then pulled one off just as Reita was doing the very same with both if his. The smaller man helped Reita to his feet and then stepped back, smiling somewhat. Reita was a little put off by that smile. "I thought you were tougher than that."
"Tch."
Reita didn't feel like putting up with that, so he excused himself from the ring and headed over to where he had left his gym bag and his bottle of water. He tucked his gloves down into his bag and then saw Ruki come walking up beside him. For a moment he was torn between ignoring him, or actually being a good sport, but he knew he would always be the latter. He was much too polite to be otherwise.
"Hey, sorry, I didn't mean it like that... I was just surprised is all."
Reita grunted and turned his attention back to his stuff. "Yeah, most people are. It's not like I do it professionally or anything."
Before Ruki could respond, Reita heard a cellphone go off, which he later learned was Ruki's, as the small brunette immediately headed back over to his own stuff and rifled through his bag until he had his phone, which Reita watched as he flipped it open and went about checking... something.
Rather than wait, which would have been polite, Reita simply continued putting his things away until he was finished, and then he shrugged on his sweater and his shoes. He was definitely finished here for today. There was homework he needed to do anyway, even if he wasn't very good at it. School wasn't really his thing anyway, but he felt the pull to have a good education as most people did.
Reita headed for the exit with his bag slung over his shoulder and felt the cold blast of the winter air as he escaped into it. Snowflakes were even falling, as rare as that was this time of year, and the wind picked them up and skirted them across the city streets.
There was already some residue of a light snow dusting on the sidewalks and trees, and it was a rather beautiful sight to behold. Reita wasn't one to really think of it in that way, however. It was just cold frost, and much more troublesome in large quantities than it was pretty. Still, he couldn't help his childish action of sticking his tongue out to catch some on the tip as he made his way to the train station just down the street.
As he was entering the familiar area and going to take his wallet from his pocket, however, he heard his phone go off in his bag and he stopped to check for it. He set it down on a nearby bench and rifled through until he had found it. Unlocking the keys, he pressed the button to check the message.
"What?" He spoke, frowning, as he looked upon the message from a strange number, which read:
Missing something?
Instantly he wondered if this wasn't some creepy stalker or weirdo, and he had a quick look around. It was during the late afternoon, though, and the station was busy with people heading home from work. There was no way anyone would try anything with so many witnesses at hand. Then and only then, with that thought in mind, did he have the nerve to reply, Who are you?
Instead of wait around for a reply, he started reaching for his wallet again, not finding it where he had left it in his sweater pocket. It wasn't in his pants either. Furrowing his brows, Reita had just unzipped his bag when a hand clasped him on the shoulder.
Due to his nerves and the stress of not being able to find his beloved wallet, rather than react like a normal person, Reita whirled around, fist up and ready to hit, when a hand stopped him, strong and clasping around his clenched hand. "Whoa there." The sound it had made was much louder than intended, and Reita felt momentarily embarassed until he recognized that voice and who it belonged too. "You're much stronger when you're scared."
That teasing sentence made Reita growl under his breath, as Ruki looked up at him, fully clothed for the first time since Reita had seen him.
"I wasn't scared... Some creep just texted me, and I can't find my fucking wallet."
He turned around to avoid that stare and continued searching through his bag. "Did you follow me or something? Because one stalker is enough, thank you." Maybe he was overreacting but he wasn't in the mood for any of this.
"If it's enough, then I guess I can keep stalking you, huh?"
Reita looked over at Ruki this time with furrowed brows in opposite to the smaller man's raised ones, which evidenced some kind of amusement. In his hand he held up Reita's wallet, much to the surprise of the nosebanded man.
"Where did you get that?"
His incredulous-sounding voice must have been more entertaining to Ruki than it had been to himself, because the smaller man laughed a little and then tossed it at him. Reita snatched it mid-air and then opened it to check and make sure everything was there. It was.
"It was in the floor at the gym. I turned around to say something and you were gone. All I saw was that wallet on the floor." He shrugged and Reita gave him a questioning look.
"And you didn't think to steal anything?"
"Anything but your phone number, no." Ruki replied lightly, amused still.
Suddenly it all dawned on the taller man, and he sighed, feeling at least a little indebted towards Ruki for saving him all the trouble of canceling out his cards and getting new stuff, which would have taken money and time he didn't have currently. "Well... thanks." Digging into his wallet, he took out some money and offered it to Ruki. "This is for returning it to me."
Ruki just shook his head and pushed it back towards Reita. "Nah, it was nothing big. Keep it."
Reita was even more grateful. Some people would have asked for a lot in return for such a deed. He put the money back in his wallet and then pulled out his train card. "Well, thanks again... uh..."
"Ruki. Just call me Ruki." The man smiled as he spoke, and Reita couldn't help a sideways smile of his own, however small.
"Thanks again, Ruki." Then he turned around and headed for the correct place for boarding the train. As he went to swipe his card, he heard Ruki's voice call out to him again, from where he had just been.
"Hey!"
Reita looked up and stopped. He saw Ruki jogging over to him with his bag in hand. Underneath his noseband, Reita's face heated in realization that he'd forgotten something else.
"You forget a lot of stuff, don't you?" Ruki's teasing voice made that flush even greater, but Reita grunted in response as he took the bag from that small, yet powerful hand. "You also forgot to tell me your name."
Since the smaller man had used a nickname, Reita decided on the same. "It's Reita... Thanks again."
Before Ruki could respond, Reita was already disappearing past the gate and slipping onto the train just before the doors closed. The nosebanded man didn't see the way he smiled after him, both amused and something else.
--------------------------------------------------------------
It wasn't until an hour and a half later, when Reita was freshly out of the shower and toweling off his hair, that he heard his phone go off again. Studiously avoiding his own gaze in the mirror, Reita shamelessly wandered out of the bathroom unclothed. That might have changed if he had known his roommate was home, but he didn't, since Uruha was actually doing his best to keep quiet with his girlfriend in his bedroom two doors down from the bathroom.
Reita picked up the ringing device from the coffee table where he had left it and clicked to open the new text message. It was from that same number, which he now knew was Ruki's. What did he want? To tease him some more? The thought was sour in Reita's mind, but rather than humorous words, there was an honest question in the message.
Can I call you?
Call him? Ruki hardly knew him. Why would he want to call him? Still, he was polite, so he responded with a casual, Sure, go ahead.
He took the phone back to the bathroom with him, and just as he shut the door behind him, the phone rang, this time with his call tone and not his text tone. Reita answered without a thought, wondering what Ruki wanted.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Reita."
The tone of Ruki's voice was off slightly, but Reita didn't think anything of it. The man could be doing anything right now that might change how he sounded, though some of the more perverse options that flashed in his mind were certainly unecessary to think about.
"You... wanted to talk?" Reita set the phone down and put it on loudspeaker so he could brush his hair. Ruki seemed to realize he was on loudspeaker, though, because in the next moment he asked Reita to take him off of it, and sighing, the taller man did just that. "Well... I just got out of the shower... I can't do much with the phone to my ear, you know."
Still, he sat down on the toilet lid and leaned back. It wasn't like anything had to be done right this second.
"Sorry, want me to call you back?"
Reita was startled with the actual apology in the tone of the other man, so he shook his head. "It's okay. I can wait a bit. My hair isn't going to frizz that fast." He could almost imagine the teasing that never came. He'd been expecting Ruki to ask why he was so fussy with his hair, but he didn't. Instead there was only silence on the other end.
Reita ran his index finger along the side of the shower curtain, trying to occupy himself as he sat there, waiting for Ruki to say something. Anything.
A minute went by in silence, and then Ruki finally spoke. "I'm actually... really sorry about earlier. I was going to apologize for teasing you, but that was my brother who texted me, and I had to reply. Byou's not really known for his patience."
Reita snorted and shook his head. This time he was the one who was amused. "Don't worry about it. It didn't really bug me." Maybe it had, but Reita didn't like to rub such things in.
"So your hostility was just you?" Now Ruki sounded amused again, if only a little. Reita growled in reply, though it was faint. "Sorry, sorry... Really, I'm not normally like this." Reita heard Ruki shift, heard the sound of a bed squeak and suddenly those indecent thoughts crept back to him. No, no, Ruki was just resting on his bed, probably. That was it.
"So your-"
Ruki seemed to know he was about to be teased in reply, because he interrupted him. "Hey now." He chuckled lightly, but then it fell away in a soft sigh. "Really, don't be childish, Aki."
The nickname surprised him and Reita froze a second. "Aki...?" Maybe it was just a coincidence that he used that as a nickname. No, it couldn't have anything to do with his real name.
Ruki fell silent again, and Reita felt himself a little more anxious to hear him say something. "Ruki?"
"Reita, will you meet me somewhere?"
Furrowing his brows, Reita almost demanded to know where the nickname came from, but rather than be brute-ish about it, he decided to hold his nerves inside. He could ask in person. "Yeah, where?"
"By the library. I'll meet you there."
Then the phone went dead on the other end of the line, and Reita was left staring at it for a few moments. Heart beating a little faster in his chest, he turned towards the mirror again, and attempted to continue messing with his hair.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Reita left his shared apartment and walked his way to the mentioned library just a short half an hour later, as the sun was beginning to really dip behind the horizon. He was dressed appropriately in a thick jacket and a long-sleeved shirt underneath that. He wore jeans, but under them was a pair of long johns to keep his legs and unmentionables warm. Then there was a scarf for his neck and thick boots and socks for his feet. He still wore the noseband around his face, but he didn't wear gloves, having forgotten them in his haste to leave.
It was a short walk, but it felt longer to Reita, who was dissolved into curious thought. Ruki was just a strange person in general. Maybe he really was a stalker, and he hadn't been joking at the train station. Reita's gut clenched, but he tried to ignore it as well as he could.
That ignorance was made a lot less easier when he looked across the street and saw the aforementioned man standing beside the library steps, looking even smaller than he had before, with his body now dwarfed by the oversized building.
Reita crossed the road at the crosswalk and tenatively made his way over to where Ruki was standing. He was a bit unsure of the man now, but Ruki gave him no reason to worry immediately. Instead there was a soft smile on his face, though it was a bit wistful too. Reita didn't understand that look as it was aimed at him, so he stayed quiet.
"Thanks for meeting me."
Nodding his head, Reita stuck his hands further down into his pockets, trying to keep them warm. "Yeah, no problem. I didn't have any plans anyway." He had to keep it casual. Maybe Ruki would tell him all his own if he didn't intrude with his own questions.
A soft chuckle escaped those lips and he was invited over to sit down on those snow-covered steps. Reita obliged and sat down beside the smaller man, looking over at him curiously.
"I love winter, you know. It's so pretty."
"Uh huh..." Reita couldn't find it in him to go along with that, but he looked off into the distance anyway, peering across the street and down into an alleyway just the same as Ruki was, as the smaller man crossed his arms over his lap and relaxed. The nosebanded man didn't understand.
"But I don't really like today, though." Ruki sighed and Reita lifted a brow, returning his gaze to that pale face and dark locks.
"You mean Singles' Aware- I mean, Valentine's Day." He'd had that joke with Uruha a dozen times even though his friend was far from single, so he found it easy to mess up the actual name of the day when he was stuck with the playful name.
Luckily Ruki laughed, at least a little. It didn't quite reach his eyes, though, and that made Reita feel guilty. Maybe he was single today too. But that was aside from what he was thinking already, though, so he tried to remain on topic. He needed to know why that nickname had been used, and if it was just coincidence, or if Ruki really knew his name.
"Yeah, Valentine's Day." Ruki affirmed after a moment, burrowed his hands between his knees. "But... you came for a different reason than to hear me ramble, right?"
Reita nodded slowly, not willing to go through with a lie just for the sake of a man he didn't even know well. "Do... you know who I am?" He didn't want to outright ask if Ruki was stalking him since that would be really rude of him, but he was definitely thinking it.
A light shrug and Ruki met his brown-eyed gaze with those darker orbs. "Yeah, Akira Suzuki, I know who you are."
Reita's heart beat faster still in his chest, and he mentally prepared himself to fight if needed, but there was no hostility in the smaller man's face or posture. He seemed more relaxed than anything, and as the moments of silence passed on, he seemed to go further and further into thought. Reita wondered why.
"Are you... stalking me?" After that confession he simply had to ask. He had only met him today, he was sure of it.
Ruki let out a low laugh again and shook his head. "You were always pretty paranoid. I forgot about that." His laughter trailed off and he turned to look out towards the alley again, but Reita didn't follow his gaze. He was too busy staring at the side of the man's face, studying it as well as he was able to. It did nothing to betray what was going through Ruki's mind. "But it kept you from trouble. Well, except when we met. That was when it ran you right into trouble."
"I'm sorry, do we know each other?" Reita's expression was turning further into disbelief, and he wondered if this wasn't all some crazy dream he wouldn't understand when he woke up.
A slow nod affirmed the answer to his question, and Reita felt lost.
"High school. First year, we had the same class together. Uzumiya-sensei."
Reita looked down at the snow-covered step below his feet, trying to think back. There was his first year of college two years ago, but beyond that he couldn't really remember. It was the same mental block he always received, even when reminiscing with Uruha, a friend he'd had since he was practically still in diapers. Both of them had grown up together, he knew that much, but he didn't harbor many specific memories. He remembered none of this man beside him.
"Sorry, I... I don't remember." He paused, then explained, "Well, it's not just you. I don't have good memory period. Were we close?"
Ruki looked over at him and offered a small smile, shaking his head. "Don't worry about it. I know you don't have a good memory. You never did." For some reason that made Reita a little embarrassed. So he'd been forgetful back then too? "But let's just say... you could have recognized me easily if you remembered me."
Licking his chapped lips, Reita looked back down at the step, kicking some snow from the spot below his boot. He felt much more at ease now, knowing he had simply forgotten about Ruki, and that the other wasn't some kind of creepy stalker. Yet also, he felt quite a bit guilty for not recognizing someone he apparently must have known well way back then. "Sorry..." It was a reflex and his shoulders hunched a little. "But I promise it's not just you. I've forgotten a lot of high school for some reason. Uruha says he doesn't remember a lot either, though, so I guess it was pretty boring, huh?"
At the name Ruki's expression changed and Reita smiled a little. "You know Uruha too?"
"Yeah, I was friends with him too, in high school." Reita's brows furrowed and he nudged Ruki's shoulder lightly, then stood up. "Well, why don't you come back to the apartment then? We can all talk. I room with him near the college."
Ruki shook his head at the offer and motioned for Reita to sit back down. The taller man was a little disappointed since he was getting cold out here, but he didn't want to just up and leave an old friend when he wanted to talk. Therefore he did as Ruki wanted and sat down, and he reached in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. Pulling out one nicotine stick, he stuck it between his lips.
Rolling the cigarette between his lips, he idly cast a look over at Ruki, who he found was watching him in return. "What is it? You're acting really strange." Reita couldn't help asking as those dark eyes followed the movement of the cigarette, as it went back and forth in his mouth, as of yet unlit.
"Need a light?" The smaller man offered, but Reita hesitated.
"No thanks. Nervous habit. I don't actually smoke."
Ruki seemed amused behind the odd look in his eyes, but Reita tried to ignore both. He'd had enough of the other man's teasing today. "Is there something you needed to talk about? I'm a little stumped as to why you asked me out here."
"You wanted to know why I called you Aki, right?"
"Well, yeah, but-"
"I just needed to see you again."
Reita looked over at Ruki in surprised, brows lifted and nicotine stick removed from his mouth to be fingered through rough digits. The question of why went unspoken, but Reita fancied he could hear it come out of his own mouth, because Ruki seemed to hear it all the same.
"It was my fault."
"You're not making any sense." Reita was lost. Was he still upset about beating him earlier today? "I told you it's alright. It didn't bother me that much."
"It's not about earlier today!"
The loud voice made Reita flinch, especially as Ruki stood up, as if to prove a point. He looked up at the smaller man and grasped the cigarette a little tighter. "Then what in the hell is it about, Ruki? You're starting to piss me off." It wasn't, really. It was really only making him nervous.
"Three years ago in that alleyway!" He motioned towards the one across from the library, and Reita followed the movement of his hand, squinting his eyes a little. There was nothing unusual about that alleyway as far as he could see. Before he could ask, though, Ruki continued. "We were high school seniors. I told you to wait for me there."
Reita froze, wondering if he had forgotten that meeting, and that Ruki had just ignored him ever since because of it.
"It was after... It was a couple days after I had came out to the school. The week before graduation."
"Came out as...? Gay?" Reita wondered how he had forgotten that, but then again he really didn't remember much either, just as he had told Ruki. Furrowing his brows, he stared ahead at that alleyway. If it was enough to affect Ruki like this, he shouldn't have forgotten. But there was nothing.
"Yes... and you came out by association. Because we were dating." Ruki breathed those words out, and his posture became a little more unsure, nervous. "Don't you even remember that?"
Reita paused, letting that information sink in. While yes, he did remember being gay since that was kind of an everyday thing, he couldn't say he remembered them ever dating, which furthered his own guilt at his poor memory. "No... I... Did we date for long?" Those words felt horrible on his tongue and he threw the cigarette down to the ground, grounding it out with his boot even though it hadn't been lit to begin with.
"A year." Ruki replied, tone uneven, but unreadable at the same time. "We were inseperable."
"Does this have something to do with when we broke up?" Reita ventured a guess, looking up at the other man through his bi-colored bangs. By now he was expecting anything and everything to come out of Ruki's mouth. His mind was reeling. This was all so unexpected, on Valentine's Day of all days.
Ruki licked his lips slowly and nodded, coming to sit down again. He moved closer to the taller man and reached forward. Reita slid back a little, but the brunette's words stopped him. "Don't move. I'm not going to hurt you." Small fingers reached out for Reita's face and the cloth that covered the middle of it. Reita flinched, but didn't move. What was he going to do?
"You still have the scars, don't you?" Without waiting for a response, he tugged down the cloth, revealing the patchy, scarred tissue that lay underneath. Reita only let him get so far before he grabbed ahold of his wrists with firm grasps and stopped him.
"Don't." He knew he looked deformed. His nose was horribly disfigured and there were scars across that entire band of his face.
"It's alright... I know what happened."
That was just the thing. Reita didn't, and no one had ever told him.
"But I don't. Now please, stop staring..."
Reita could tell that Ruki didn't want to, the way his fingers curled against the smooth skin of his cheek and tugged just the slightest bit more on his noseband. But then he obliged, and Reita was grateful to put the piece of cloth back in its place.
"It was on Valentine's Day." Ruki murmured a moment later, his eyes drawn to that same alleyway. "Like I said, I told you to wait for me there while I finished some stuff up here at the library."
Reita followed his gaze, trying to picture what Ruki was saying as he said it to him.
"But I was running late... I was always running late. I sent you a text and told you I would be a few more minutes, but you never texted me back." Reita frowned lightly, still not remembering anything at all, though in his mind he imagined standing there and reading the text, but then shoving it back in his pocket without replying.
Ruki pressed his hands between his legs for further warmth, but kept his gaze outwards, just the same as Reita was.
"I thought, coming from you, that meant it was okay, so I didn't hesitate to stay even longer. But when I came out of the library, I didn't see you. I thought you were mad and had already left." He paused and took a breath. "But you weren't mad, and you hadn't left me. Some yankees from our school had gotten ahold of you. I saw them pull you around the corner when I crossed the street."
Reita's eyes widened, as if he could see it right in front of his eyes, even though he was still not quite remembering the incident. The pinpricks of emotion licked at his mind, however. Fear, anxiety, pain. A shiver ran up his spine as Ruki continued speaking after casting one glance over at him.
"I tried to run after you, but some other ones stopped me. They held me back as..." Ruki didn't need to continue. Now that one memory was starting to come back. It flooded through Reita's brain. He saw it, he felt it, he relived it. He watched, experienced the same fear and helplessness, and the pain, the overwhelming pain as they beat him, as they held him down and poured gasoline across his face, as they laughed as they lit it with a match. His own screams were unrecognizeable, but he could hear Ruki's, distorted and far away, calling to him. So much pain, his mind was swimming in agony.
"Fucking..." He gripped his head and tugged at his hair, trying to just take deep breaths and calm down, but he couldn't. He felt his body shaking, hypersensitive to touch, so when Ruki tried to reach for his shoulder, he jerked away and attempted to stand at the same time. He ended up slipping down a couple more steps and landing harshly on the cold pavement slicked with snow.
Bringing his knees up, he cradled his head between them, ignoring his physical pain for the mental agony he was going through. Everything was rushing forward, all at once, everything he had forgotten. From being in the closet his entire childhood, to coming out when Ruki did when they were high school seniors. Then getting his ass kicked and face permanently scarred for that very thing.
Ruki got up after a moment and came to sit down beside him on the pavement. There was no touching, no attempts to help, and Reita was actually grateful. There was so much burning, heat, and brutal thrusts of fists and foot that he remembered acutely. What all had they done to him?
Several minutes passed by of the pair of them just sitting there, until Reita was finally able to get ahold of himself, albeit with his face burrowed in his knees as his arms hugged them close. "...Did they go to jail?" It was muffled in the rough fabric of his jeans, but apparently Ruki still heard him loud and clear.
"It was a quick trial. They were sentenced to many years in prison. No one questioned what they had done."
Reita released a slow breath and then lifted his head, feeling wetness on his cheeks from tears he hadn't even known he'd been shedding. It must have been because of the pain. "Good." Casting a look over to the other man, he felt his head throbbing with a sharp ache. "Why did you leave...? Why am I only hearing about this now?"
Ruki sighed softly, and dug out some tissues from his pocket. He dabbed at Reita's eyes, which the taller man grunted to, but didn't fight him. "Because your family blamed me for what happened. If I hadn't come out, you never would have been attacked. It was all because of me..."
While that logic stood true, Reita wasn't about to blame Ruki for it. He only wanted acceptance, which was something he himself must have wanted back then too, to some degree.
"So you waited three years?"
"Until I was strong enough to face you."
Reita blinked curiously, and suddenly he remembered the gym, and how ferocious Ruki had been in the ring. "That was... for me?"
"All for you." The brunette nodded his head and offered a small smile. "This way I'm not so useless... and if something like that ever happens again, I can fight." Rather than just scream and struggle. The words went unspoken between them. "That is..." He paused, unsure, as he stood up and tucked the tissues away in his pocket again despite them being partially used. "If you still want to be with me, of course."
Reita winced as he looked up, feeling his head hurting even more, the more he thought. "I... I don't know." This was all so sudden, so strange, and while he was grateful, he wasn't about to go jumping into something. Not even when he saw a flash of hurt cross Ruki's face, which made him feel all kinds of guilt.
"I mean... give me some time. I'm still... trying to understand everything." Reita murmured after a moment, allowing Ruki to help him stand back up. "In the meantime... can I come to your place? I'm sure by now Uruha's back with his girlfriend, and I really don't want to walk in on that again."
Ruki smiled softly and nodded, moving fingers up to push bangs from those dark brown eyes. "Of course. Come on, my apartment's this way."
As he started to walk off with Reita right behind him, the taller man reached out and threaded fingers through Ruki's own. It made him feel more secure as the trauma continued to play in his head, as if trying to make him remember every last detail after having forgotten for so long. Ruki looked back only once, because when they met gazes he understood the need for that hold in that moment. He didn't question it, only continued walking. Reita followed.
It may not have been the perfect beginning to their relationship all over again, but it was enough, and so much more than either of them had been given on any Valentine's Day on and since the incident. To them, it was perfect.
Pairings/Characters: Reita/Ruki (Main)
Rating: R
Warnings: Hate crime // Man love
Notes: Muse ran away with me on this one. XD I apologize.
Summary: What a creeper.
The first day that Ruki showed up at the gym Reita had garnered the same mentality as everyone else in that room.
How could someone that small possibly hope to train here and be any good at it?
But then the more Reita thought, as his hands slammed into the punching bag, feeling the weight and hardness of the object even through his gloves, he realized that maybe the small man had something to prove. Maybe he was fighting for something more.
That became rather evident in the ferocity of Ruki's movements as he attacked a similar punching bag, but a few feet from the nosebanded man. Peering from behind bangs of black and bleached blonde, Reita kept his gaze averted to the smaller male, even as his hands moved in swift unison just as they always did. He wasn't even a fighter. Reita only trained to be self-aware, to have the security that he could defend himself if the need came for it. Working out wasn't his life, or even his passion. It slipped in between work and school, just like any other pastime.
Now, Reita wondered if that could be said for Ruki as well, because as the taller man took a step back and stretched his arms, feeling the burn, and the sweat dripping, he noticed the pure viciousness in the eyes of the brunette across from him. It was amazing, exhilirating.
It was also impossible to keep from staring, or even notice that he was doing so, until Ruki looked up in between his punches and caught his gaze. Reita swallowed hard, but kept a calm look, even as he casually looked away and reached for his bottle of water a few steps from him on that ever familiar stool.
Turning his sweaty back to Ruki, he took a few gulps, faintly hearing the intensity of those hits increase, and then slowly come to an end. He fought to keep from looking back, instead eyeing the ring and how empty it looked right now.
"Hey."
The voice startled Reita, but he kept from jolting simply by force. Turning around, he came face to face with the small brunette, seeing those dark eyes up close, and just how small he really was. It was much easier to see in the way Ruki's sweaty torso was shirtless, much unlike Reita's own, which he was surprisingly self-concious about, though he would never admit it.
"Hey."
Reita didn't know how else to reply, as he capped his water bottle again and then cast it aside. From behind those same bangs and his noseband, he offered the smaller man a curious, but guarded look, which was returned.
"Would you spar with me? There's only so much a punching bag can do."
Ruki's expression betrayed little more than that genuine curiosity, and Reita was fine with that. He didn't get many offers to spar, but he supposed that was because without girlfriends here to cheer them on, not many men were willing to put on a show lest their pride be bested in the company of so many other men.
"Yeah, sure."
The brunette nodded lightly and walked away. For a moment Reita watched him, then he reached for his own towel and dabbed his face with it, clearing it of the salty water that dripped down. Most of it was caught by his noseband, but what wasn't had a tendency to make him itch when it started to cool off.
Tossing his towel off to the side when he was finished, Reita reattached his gloves and then climbed into the ring where Ruki was already waiting. The two assumed a defensive posture, sizing one another up, and Reita noticed something flash in those eyes. Only for a brief moment, and then it was gone, and Ruki was coming at him.
Delayed, Reita could only dodge so much before he was hit in the gut, causing him to gasp, but then he swung back, aiming for the side of the smaller man's face. Ruki was quick, and he hit harder than Reita would have expected. He was using that same intensity as before, but worse. This time he really did seem like he had something to prove. Reita could feel the hits piling up, and his own inexperience suddenly came back to haunt him. Ruki backed him into a corner and continued to hit a few more times before Reita uttered, "I give." and it was over.
Ruki backed off and offered a raised brow, somewhat amused, it seemed, as Reita peered up from his spot nearly on the ring floor, feeling his pride a little less battered than his body was. Only a little, though.
"You're like a demon." Reita muttered after a moment, unsure if he was going to be mocked, or if this would actually just be all in good fun.
It seemed the latter was his reward.
"It's what I do." Ruki adjusted his gloves and then pulled one off just as Reita was doing the very same with both if his. The smaller man helped Reita to his feet and then stepped back, smiling somewhat. Reita was a little put off by that smile. "I thought you were tougher than that."
"Tch."
Reita didn't feel like putting up with that, so he excused himself from the ring and headed over to where he had left his gym bag and his bottle of water. He tucked his gloves down into his bag and then saw Ruki come walking up beside him. For a moment he was torn between ignoring him, or actually being a good sport, but he knew he would always be the latter. He was much too polite to be otherwise.
"Hey, sorry, I didn't mean it like that... I was just surprised is all."
Reita grunted and turned his attention back to his stuff. "Yeah, most people are. It's not like I do it professionally or anything."
Before Ruki could respond, Reita heard a cellphone go off, which he later learned was Ruki's, as the small brunette immediately headed back over to his own stuff and rifled through his bag until he had his phone, which Reita watched as he flipped it open and went about checking... something.
Rather than wait, which would have been polite, Reita simply continued putting his things away until he was finished, and then he shrugged on his sweater and his shoes. He was definitely finished here for today. There was homework he needed to do anyway, even if he wasn't very good at it. School wasn't really his thing anyway, but he felt the pull to have a good education as most people did.
Reita headed for the exit with his bag slung over his shoulder and felt the cold blast of the winter air as he escaped into it. Snowflakes were even falling, as rare as that was this time of year, and the wind picked them up and skirted them across the city streets.
There was already some residue of a light snow dusting on the sidewalks and trees, and it was a rather beautiful sight to behold. Reita wasn't one to really think of it in that way, however. It was just cold frost, and much more troublesome in large quantities than it was pretty. Still, he couldn't help his childish action of sticking his tongue out to catch some on the tip as he made his way to the train station just down the street.
As he was entering the familiar area and going to take his wallet from his pocket, however, he heard his phone go off in his bag and he stopped to check for it. He set it down on a nearby bench and rifled through until he had found it. Unlocking the keys, he pressed the button to check the message.
"What?" He spoke, frowning, as he looked upon the message from a strange number, which read:
Missing something?
Instantly he wondered if this wasn't some creepy stalker or weirdo, and he had a quick look around. It was during the late afternoon, though, and the station was busy with people heading home from work. There was no way anyone would try anything with so many witnesses at hand. Then and only then, with that thought in mind, did he have the nerve to reply, Who are you?
Instead of wait around for a reply, he started reaching for his wallet again, not finding it where he had left it in his sweater pocket. It wasn't in his pants either. Furrowing his brows, Reita had just unzipped his bag when a hand clasped him on the shoulder.
Due to his nerves and the stress of not being able to find his beloved wallet, rather than react like a normal person, Reita whirled around, fist up and ready to hit, when a hand stopped him, strong and clasping around his clenched hand. "Whoa there." The sound it had made was much louder than intended, and Reita felt momentarily embarassed until he recognized that voice and who it belonged too. "You're much stronger when you're scared."
That teasing sentence made Reita growl under his breath, as Ruki looked up at him, fully clothed for the first time since Reita had seen him.
"I wasn't scared... Some creep just texted me, and I can't find my fucking wallet."
He turned around to avoid that stare and continued searching through his bag. "Did you follow me or something? Because one stalker is enough, thank you." Maybe he was overreacting but he wasn't in the mood for any of this.
"If it's enough, then I guess I can keep stalking you, huh?"
Reita looked over at Ruki this time with furrowed brows in opposite to the smaller man's raised ones, which evidenced some kind of amusement. In his hand he held up Reita's wallet, much to the surprise of the nosebanded man.
"Where did you get that?"
His incredulous-sounding voice must have been more entertaining to Ruki than it had been to himself, because the smaller man laughed a little and then tossed it at him. Reita snatched it mid-air and then opened it to check and make sure everything was there. It was.
"It was in the floor at the gym. I turned around to say something and you were gone. All I saw was that wallet on the floor." He shrugged and Reita gave him a questioning look.
"And you didn't think to steal anything?"
"Anything but your phone number, no." Ruki replied lightly, amused still.
Suddenly it all dawned on the taller man, and he sighed, feeling at least a little indebted towards Ruki for saving him all the trouble of canceling out his cards and getting new stuff, which would have taken money and time he didn't have currently. "Well... thanks." Digging into his wallet, he took out some money and offered it to Ruki. "This is for returning it to me."
Ruki just shook his head and pushed it back towards Reita. "Nah, it was nothing big. Keep it."
Reita was even more grateful. Some people would have asked for a lot in return for such a deed. He put the money back in his wallet and then pulled out his train card. "Well, thanks again... uh..."
"Ruki. Just call me Ruki." The man smiled as he spoke, and Reita couldn't help a sideways smile of his own, however small.
"Thanks again, Ruki." Then he turned around and headed for the correct place for boarding the train. As he went to swipe his card, he heard Ruki's voice call out to him again, from where he had just been.
"Hey!"
Reita looked up and stopped. He saw Ruki jogging over to him with his bag in hand. Underneath his noseband, Reita's face heated in realization that he'd forgotten something else.
"You forget a lot of stuff, don't you?" Ruki's teasing voice made that flush even greater, but Reita grunted in response as he took the bag from that small, yet powerful hand. "You also forgot to tell me your name."
Since the smaller man had used a nickname, Reita decided on the same. "It's Reita... Thanks again."
Before Ruki could respond, Reita was already disappearing past the gate and slipping onto the train just before the doors closed. The nosebanded man didn't see the way he smiled after him, both amused and something else.
--------------------------------------------------------------
It wasn't until an hour and a half later, when Reita was freshly out of the shower and toweling off his hair, that he heard his phone go off again. Studiously avoiding his own gaze in the mirror, Reita shamelessly wandered out of the bathroom unclothed. That might have changed if he had known his roommate was home, but he didn't, since Uruha was actually doing his best to keep quiet with his girlfriend in his bedroom two doors down from the bathroom.
Reita picked up the ringing device from the coffee table where he had left it and clicked to open the new text message. It was from that same number, which he now knew was Ruki's. What did he want? To tease him some more? The thought was sour in Reita's mind, but rather than humorous words, there was an honest question in the message.
Can I call you?
Call him? Ruki hardly knew him. Why would he want to call him? Still, he was polite, so he responded with a casual, Sure, go ahead.
He took the phone back to the bathroom with him, and just as he shut the door behind him, the phone rang, this time with his call tone and not his text tone. Reita answered without a thought, wondering what Ruki wanted.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Reita."
The tone of Ruki's voice was off slightly, but Reita didn't think anything of it. The man could be doing anything right now that might change how he sounded, though some of the more perverse options that flashed in his mind were certainly unecessary to think about.
"You... wanted to talk?" Reita set the phone down and put it on loudspeaker so he could brush his hair. Ruki seemed to realize he was on loudspeaker, though, because in the next moment he asked Reita to take him off of it, and sighing, the taller man did just that. "Well... I just got out of the shower... I can't do much with the phone to my ear, you know."
Still, he sat down on the toilet lid and leaned back. It wasn't like anything had to be done right this second.
"Sorry, want me to call you back?"
Reita was startled with the actual apology in the tone of the other man, so he shook his head. "It's okay. I can wait a bit. My hair isn't going to frizz that fast." He could almost imagine the teasing that never came. He'd been expecting Ruki to ask why he was so fussy with his hair, but he didn't. Instead there was only silence on the other end.
Reita ran his index finger along the side of the shower curtain, trying to occupy himself as he sat there, waiting for Ruki to say something. Anything.
A minute went by in silence, and then Ruki finally spoke. "I'm actually... really sorry about earlier. I was going to apologize for teasing you, but that was my brother who texted me, and I had to reply. Byou's not really known for his patience."
Reita snorted and shook his head. This time he was the one who was amused. "Don't worry about it. It didn't really bug me." Maybe it had, but Reita didn't like to rub such things in.
"So your hostility was just you?" Now Ruki sounded amused again, if only a little. Reita growled in reply, though it was faint. "Sorry, sorry... Really, I'm not normally like this." Reita heard Ruki shift, heard the sound of a bed squeak and suddenly those indecent thoughts crept back to him. No, no, Ruki was just resting on his bed, probably. That was it.
"So your-"
Ruki seemed to know he was about to be teased in reply, because he interrupted him. "Hey now." He chuckled lightly, but then it fell away in a soft sigh. "Really, don't be childish, Aki."
The nickname surprised him and Reita froze a second. "Aki...?" Maybe it was just a coincidence that he used that as a nickname. No, it couldn't have anything to do with his real name.
Ruki fell silent again, and Reita felt himself a little more anxious to hear him say something. "Ruki?"
"Reita, will you meet me somewhere?"
Furrowing his brows, Reita almost demanded to know where the nickname came from, but rather than be brute-ish about it, he decided to hold his nerves inside. He could ask in person. "Yeah, where?"
"By the library. I'll meet you there."
Then the phone went dead on the other end of the line, and Reita was left staring at it for a few moments. Heart beating a little faster in his chest, he turned towards the mirror again, and attempted to continue messing with his hair.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Reita left his shared apartment and walked his way to the mentioned library just a short half an hour later, as the sun was beginning to really dip behind the horizon. He was dressed appropriately in a thick jacket and a long-sleeved shirt underneath that. He wore jeans, but under them was a pair of long johns to keep his legs and unmentionables warm. Then there was a scarf for his neck and thick boots and socks for his feet. He still wore the noseband around his face, but he didn't wear gloves, having forgotten them in his haste to leave.
It was a short walk, but it felt longer to Reita, who was dissolved into curious thought. Ruki was just a strange person in general. Maybe he really was a stalker, and he hadn't been joking at the train station. Reita's gut clenched, but he tried to ignore it as well as he could.
That ignorance was made a lot less easier when he looked across the street and saw the aforementioned man standing beside the library steps, looking even smaller than he had before, with his body now dwarfed by the oversized building.
Reita crossed the road at the crosswalk and tenatively made his way over to where Ruki was standing. He was a bit unsure of the man now, but Ruki gave him no reason to worry immediately. Instead there was a soft smile on his face, though it was a bit wistful too. Reita didn't understand that look as it was aimed at him, so he stayed quiet.
"Thanks for meeting me."
Nodding his head, Reita stuck his hands further down into his pockets, trying to keep them warm. "Yeah, no problem. I didn't have any plans anyway." He had to keep it casual. Maybe Ruki would tell him all his own if he didn't intrude with his own questions.
A soft chuckle escaped those lips and he was invited over to sit down on those snow-covered steps. Reita obliged and sat down beside the smaller man, looking over at him curiously.
"I love winter, you know. It's so pretty."
"Uh huh..." Reita couldn't find it in him to go along with that, but he looked off into the distance anyway, peering across the street and down into an alleyway just the same as Ruki was, as the smaller man crossed his arms over his lap and relaxed. The nosebanded man didn't understand.
"But I don't really like today, though." Ruki sighed and Reita lifted a brow, returning his gaze to that pale face and dark locks.
"You mean Singles' Aware- I mean, Valentine's Day." He'd had that joke with Uruha a dozen times even though his friend was far from single, so he found it easy to mess up the actual name of the day when he was stuck with the playful name.
Luckily Ruki laughed, at least a little. It didn't quite reach his eyes, though, and that made Reita feel guilty. Maybe he was single today too. But that was aside from what he was thinking already, though, so he tried to remain on topic. He needed to know why that nickname had been used, and if it was just coincidence, or if Ruki really knew his name.
"Yeah, Valentine's Day." Ruki affirmed after a moment, burrowed his hands between his knees. "But... you came for a different reason than to hear me ramble, right?"
Reita nodded slowly, not willing to go through with a lie just for the sake of a man he didn't even know well. "Do... you know who I am?" He didn't want to outright ask if Ruki was stalking him since that would be really rude of him, but he was definitely thinking it.
A light shrug and Ruki met his brown-eyed gaze with those darker orbs. "Yeah, Akira Suzuki, I know who you are."
Reita's heart beat faster still in his chest, and he mentally prepared himself to fight if needed, but there was no hostility in the smaller man's face or posture. He seemed more relaxed than anything, and as the moments of silence passed on, he seemed to go further and further into thought. Reita wondered why.
"Are you... stalking me?" After that confession he simply had to ask. He had only met him today, he was sure of it.
Ruki let out a low laugh again and shook his head. "You were always pretty paranoid. I forgot about that." His laughter trailed off and he turned to look out towards the alley again, but Reita didn't follow his gaze. He was too busy staring at the side of the man's face, studying it as well as he was able to. It did nothing to betray what was going through Ruki's mind. "But it kept you from trouble. Well, except when we met. That was when it ran you right into trouble."
"I'm sorry, do we know each other?" Reita's expression was turning further into disbelief, and he wondered if this wasn't all some crazy dream he wouldn't understand when he woke up.
A slow nod affirmed the answer to his question, and Reita felt lost.
"High school. First year, we had the same class together. Uzumiya-sensei."
Reita looked down at the snow-covered step below his feet, trying to think back. There was his first year of college two years ago, but beyond that he couldn't really remember. It was the same mental block he always received, even when reminiscing with Uruha, a friend he'd had since he was practically still in diapers. Both of them had grown up together, he knew that much, but he didn't harbor many specific memories. He remembered none of this man beside him.
"Sorry, I... I don't remember." He paused, then explained, "Well, it's not just you. I don't have good memory period. Were we close?"
Ruki looked over at him and offered a small smile, shaking his head. "Don't worry about it. I know you don't have a good memory. You never did." For some reason that made Reita a little embarrassed. So he'd been forgetful back then too? "But let's just say... you could have recognized me easily if you remembered me."
Licking his chapped lips, Reita looked back down at the step, kicking some snow from the spot below his boot. He felt much more at ease now, knowing he had simply forgotten about Ruki, and that the other wasn't some kind of creepy stalker. Yet also, he felt quite a bit guilty for not recognizing someone he apparently must have known well way back then. "Sorry..." It was a reflex and his shoulders hunched a little. "But I promise it's not just you. I've forgotten a lot of high school for some reason. Uruha says he doesn't remember a lot either, though, so I guess it was pretty boring, huh?"
At the name Ruki's expression changed and Reita smiled a little. "You know Uruha too?"
"Yeah, I was friends with him too, in high school." Reita's brows furrowed and he nudged Ruki's shoulder lightly, then stood up. "Well, why don't you come back to the apartment then? We can all talk. I room with him near the college."
Ruki shook his head at the offer and motioned for Reita to sit back down. The taller man was a little disappointed since he was getting cold out here, but he didn't want to just up and leave an old friend when he wanted to talk. Therefore he did as Ruki wanted and sat down, and he reached in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. Pulling out one nicotine stick, he stuck it between his lips.
Rolling the cigarette between his lips, he idly cast a look over at Ruki, who he found was watching him in return. "What is it? You're acting really strange." Reita couldn't help asking as those dark eyes followed the movement of the cigarette, as it went back and forth in his mouth, as of yet unlit.
"Need a light?" The smaller man offered, but Reita hesitated.
"No thanks. Nervous habit. I don't actually smoke."
Ruki seemed amused behind the odd look in his eyes, but Reita tried to ignore both. He'd had enough of the other man's teasing today. "Is there something you needed to talk about? I'm a little stumped as to why you asked me out here."
"You wanted to know why I called you Aki, right?"
"Well, yeah, but-"
"I just needed to see you again."
Reita looked over at Ruki in surprised, brows lifted and nicotine stick removed from his mouth to be fingered through rough digits. The question of why went unspoken, but Reita fancied he could hear it come out of his own mouth, because Ruki seemed to hear it all the same.
"It was my fault."
"You're not making any sense." Reita was lost. Was he still upset about beating him earlier today? "I told you it's alright. It didn't bother me that much."
"It's not about earlier today!"
The loud voice made Reita flinch, especially as Ruki stood up, as if to prove a point. He looked up at the smaller man and grasped the cigarette a little tighter. "Then what in the hell is it about, Ruki? You're starting to piss me off." It wasn't, really. It was really only making him nervous.
"Three years ago in that alleyway!" He motioned towards the one across from the library, and Reita followed the movement of his hand, squinting his eyes a little. There was nothing unusual about that alleyway as far as he could see. Before he could ask, though, Ruki continued. "We were high school seniors. I told you to wait for me there."
Reita froze, wondering if he had forgotten that meeting, and that Ruki had just ignored him ever since because of it.
"It was after... It was a couple days after I had came out to the school. The week before graduation."
"Came out as...? Gay?" Reita wondered how he had forgotten that, but then again he really didn't remember much either, just as he had told Ruki. Furrowing his brows, he stared ahead at that alleyway. If it was enough to affect Ruki like this, he shouldn't have forgotten. But there was nothing.
"Yes... and you came out by association. Because we were dating." Ruki breathed those words out, and his posture became a little more unsure, nervous. "Don't you even remember that?"
Reita paused, letting that information sink in. While yes, he did remember being gay since that was kind of an everyday thing, he couldn't say he remembered them ever dating, which furthered his own guilt at his poor memory. "No... I... Did we date for long?" Those words felt horrible on his tongue and he threw the cigarette down to the ground, grounding it out with his boot even though it hadn't been lit to begin with.
"A year." Ruki replied, tone uneven, but unreadable at the same time. "We were inseperable."
"Does this have something to do with when we broke up?" Reita ventured a guess, looking up at the other man through his bi-colored bangs. By now he was expecting anything and everything to come out of Ruki's mouth. His mind was reeling. This was all so unexpected, on Valentine's Day of all days.
Ruki licked his lips slowly and nodded, coming to sit down again. He moved closer to the taller man and reached forward. Reita slid back a little, but the brunette's words stopped him. "Don't move. I'm not going to hurt you." Small fingers reached out for Reita's face and the cloth that covered the middle of it. Reita flinched, but didn't move. What was he going to do?
"You still have the scars, don't you?" Without waiting for a response, he tugged down the cloth, revealing the patchy, scarred tissue that lay underneath. Reita only let him get so far before he grabbed ahold of his wrists with firm grasps and stopped him.
"Don't." He knew he looked deformed. His nose was horribly disfigured and there were scars across that entire band of his face.
"It's alright... I know what happened."
That was just the thing. Reita didn't, and no one had ever told him.
"But I don't. Now please, stop staring..."
Reita could tell that Ruki didn't want to, the way his fingers curled against the smooth skin of his cheek and tugged just the slightest bit more on his noseband. But then he obliged, and Reita was grateful to put the piece of cloth back in its place.
"It was on Valentine's Day." Ruki murmured a moment later, his eyes drawn to that same alleyway. "Like I said, I told you to wait for me there while I finished some stuff up here at the library."
Reita followed his gaze, trying to picture what Ruki was saying as he said it to him.
"But I was running late... I was always running late. I sent you a text and told you I would be a few more minutes, but you never texted me back." Reita frowned lightly, still not remembering anything at all, though in his mind he imagined standing there and reading the text, but then shoving it back in his pocket without replying.
Ruki pressed his hands between his legs for further warmth, but kept his gaze outwards, just the same as Reita was.
"I thought, coming from you, that meant it was okay, so I didn't hesitate to stay even longer. But when I came out of the library, I didn't see you. I thought you were mad and had already left." He paused and took a breath. "But you weren't mad, and you hadn't left me. Some yankees from our school had gotten ahold of you. I saw them pull you around the corner when I crossed the street."
Reita's eyes widened, as if he could see it right in front of his eyes, even though he was still not quite remembering the incident. The pinpricks of emotion licked at his mind, however. Fear, anxiety, pain. A shiver ran up his spine as Ruki continued speaking after casting one glance over at him.
"I tried to run after you, but some other ones stopped me. They held me back as..." Ruki didn't need to continue. Now that one memory was starting to come back. It flooded through Reita's brain. He saw it, he felt it, he relived it. He watched, experienced the same fear and helplessness, and the pain, the overwhelming pain as they beat him, as they held him down and poured gasoline across his face, as they laughed as they lit it with a match. His own screams were unrecognizeable, but he could hear Ruki's, distorted and far away, calling to him. So much pain, his mind was swimming in agony.
"Fucking..." He gripped his head and tugged at his hair, trying to just take deep breaths and calm down, but he couldn't. He felt his body shaking, hypersensitive to touch, so when Ruki tried to reach for his shoulder, he jerked away and attempted to stand at the same time. He ended up slipping down a couple more steps and landing harshly on the cold pavement slicked with snow.
Bringing his knees up, he cradled his head between them, ignoring his physical pain for the mental agony he was going through. Everything was rushing forward, all at once, everything he had forgotten. From being in the closet his entire childhood, to coming out when Ruki did when they were high school seniors. Then getting his ass kicked and face permanently scarred for that very thing.
Ruki got up after a moment and came to sit down beside him on the pavement. There was no touching, no attempts to help, and Reita was actually grateful. There was so much burning, heat, and brutal thrusts of fists and foot that he remembered acutely. What all had they done to him?
Several minutes passed by of the pair of them just sitting there, until Reita was finally able to get ahold of himself, albeit with his face burrowed in his knees as his arms hugged them close. "...Did they go to jail?" It was muffled in the rough fabric of his jeans, but apparently Ruki still heard him loud and clear.
"It was a quick trial. They were sentenced to many years in prison. No one questioned what they had done."
Reita released a slow breath and then lifted his head, feeling wetness on his cheeks from tears he hadn't even known he'd been shedding. It must have been because of the pain. "Good." Casting a look over to the other man, he felt his head throbbing with a sharp ache. "Why did you leave...? Why am I only hearing about this now?"
Ruki sighed softly, and dug out some tissues from his pocket. He dabbed at Reita's eyes, which the taller man grunted to, but didn't fight him. "Because your family blamed me for what happened. If I hadn't come out, you never would have been attacked. It was all because of me..."
While that logic stood true, Reita wasn't about to blame Ruki for it. He only wanted acceptance, which was something he himself must have wanted back then too, to some degree.
"So you waited three years?"
"Until I was strong enough to face you."
Reita blinked curiously, and suddenly he remembered the gym, and how ferocious Ruki had been in the ring. "That was... for me?"
"All for you." The brunette nodded his head and offered a small smile. "This way I'm not so useless... and if something like that ever happens again, I can fight." Rather than just scream and struggle. The words went unspoken between them. "That is..." He paused, unsure, as he stood up and tucked the tissues away in his pocket again despite them being partially used. "If you still want to be with me, of course."
Reita winced as he looked up, feeling his head hurting even more, the more he thought. "I... I don't know." This was all so sudden, so strange, and while he was grateful, he wasn't about to go jumping into something. Not even when he saw a flash of hurt cross Ruki's face, which made him feel all kinds of guilt.
"I mean... give me some time. I'm still... trying to understand everything." Reita murmured after a moment, allowing Ruki to help him stand back up. "In the meantime... can I come to your place? I'm sure by now Uruha's back with his girlfriend, and I really don't want to walk in on that again."
Ruki smiled softly and nodded, moving fingers up to push bangs from those dark brown eyes. "Of course. Come on, my apartment's this way."
As he started to walk off with Reita right behind him, the taller man reached out and threaded fingers through Ruki's own. It made him feel more secure as the trauma continued to play in his head, as if trying to make him remember every last detail after having forgotten for so long. Ruki looked back only once, because when they met gazes he understood the need for that hold in that moment. He didn't question it, only continued walking. Reita followed.
It may not have been the perfect beginning to their relationship all over again, but it was enough, and so much more than either of them had been given on any Valentine's Day on and since the incident. To them, it was perfect.