Not happeh enuf 4 U? 2 bad.
Yesterday we did our little presentations for Health class. One person chose diet as their topic, several people chose various digestive issues, a few people chose Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD. ...I guess if you have extremely Generalized Anxiety Disorder, that makes it EGAD?) One chose physical training, another chose saskatoon berries (Canuckistan's very own super-food, more powerful than blueberries, faster than a speeding brocolli, able to leap tall grasses in a single bush) and I chose lighting and mood in the workplace. All of the presentation topics were interesting. By sheer coincidence, most of the food/digestion topics followed after one another, forming a train of related topics quite accidentally.
One thing I found interesting was that one of the GAD presenters finds our class to be very positive, inclusive and non-judgemental. One of the reasons I found that interesting is that, upon disclosing that she didn't like children, one of the other women blurted "You don't like kids? What's wrong with you?" -- which I interpret as very judgemental :-P I find the group to be rather typical, really. The only group I've ever found truly remarkable, and that I've ever felt I really belonged to, is my dance class.
Following the presentations, we did a little thing on positive attitudes aaaaaaaaand that's where I started shaking my head. The point I take particular exception to is the advice to "fake it until you make it", ie to paste a fake smile on and act happy until it actually happens. For people who struggle with chronic affective disorder issues, this advice can actually make their depressions worse. When the expected 'make it' doesn't happen, it reinforces feelings of failure and fakery. Dopamine is the brain chemical responsible for feelings of satisfaction and happiness, so if the person has dopamine insufficiencies, they literally can't get happy and the 'make it' just isn't going to happen, positive thinking or not. So the person feels their thinking must not be positive enough, they feel they've failed themselves, failed everyone around them, and feel forced to maintain this artificial mask, pouring what little energy they have into maintaining a false face that isn't 'them' and will never be 'them,' and it all goes into a downward spiral.
And I have a huge problem with the advice to manipulate people into smiling, "then they will feel better." I have a face that simply does not default to 'smiling.' I can be in a perfectly good mood but not be smiling. A lot of people are like this; my best friend's mother looked downright angry, disapproving, but after I got to know her, I learned that that was simply how her face defaulted. Someone who isn't smiling isn't necessarily in a bad mood. Similarly, someone who is smiling might be trying to 'fake it', and might be tearing themselves to pieces inside (this is the case with one of the classmates.)
The other problem I have with that advice is, who exactly is going to feel better? The person being manipulated or the person who doing the manipulating? Seriously, the disrespect! You might have no idea what's going on in that person's personal life that might be contributing to their non-smiliness. Trying to manipulate them into smiling, some people may interpret that as caring, but others may interpret it as that's all that matters. They could be bleeding in the street and nobody would give a shit, but goddammit they'd better be smiling! Seriously, if you're that threatened by someone's facial expression that you feel the need to manipulate them, maybe it's you who needs counselling.
The smile-capitulator on my face broke after the Mother's Day incident. I couldn't find any replacement parts for that model, so I replaced it with an FU transformer. It's worked a lot better after that.
Friday was cold, even had a brief blast of snow, but was also picture day. So, hot pink turtleneck belted over black jeans, steel necklace, grey cardigan, black Mary Janes.
I haven't mentioned the new job yet, have I? My EI is running out so I need to take a part-time evening job as a fill-in. One of my dance sisters was looking for a receptionist soooooo tah-dah. It's not quite enough to fill my financial requirements but it has other benefits: 1) It's in line with what I'm taking in school, so I can put it on my professional resume, b) it's more money per hour, so I can make the same money in 2 hours as I would make in 4 hours at minimum wage, so I'm not rushed after school and have a little time to relax at night after work. And 3) my dance sister has known me for years and is familiar with my quirks aaaand still offered me a reception job *chuckle* I'll just have to hope we can get the finances to work.
One thing I found interesting was that one of the GAD presenters finds our class to be very positive, inclusive and non-judgemental. One of the reasons I found that interesting is that, upon disclosing that she didn't like children, one of the other women blurted "You don't like kids? What's wrong with you?" -- which I interpret as very judgemental :-P I find the group to be rather typical, really. The only group I've ever found truly remarkable, and that I've ever felt I really belonged to, is my dance class.
Following the presentations, we did a little thing on positive attitudes aaaaaaaaand that's where I started shaking my head. The point I take particular exception to is the advice to "fake it until you make it", ie to paste a fake smile on and act happy until it actually happens. For people who struggle with chronic affective disorder issues, this advice can actually make their depressions worse. When the expected 'make it' doesn't happen, it reinforces feelings of failure and fakery. Dopamine is the brain chemical responsible for feelings of satisfaction and happiness, so if the person has dopamine insufficiencies, they literally can't get happy and the 'make it' just isn't going to happen, positive thinking or not. So the person feels their thinking must not be positive enough, they feel they've failed themselves, failed everyone around them, and feel forced to maintain this artificial mask, pouring what little energy they have into maintaining a false face that isn't 'them' and will never be 'them,' and it all goes into a downward spiral.
And I have a huge problem with the advice to manipulate people into smiling, "then they will feel better." I have a face that simply does not default to 'smiling.' I can be in a perfectly good mood but not be smiling. A lot of people are like this; my best friend's mother looked downright angry, disapproving, but after I got to know her, I learned that that was simply how her face defaulted. Someone who isn't smiling isn't necessarily in a bad mood. Similarly, someone who is smiling might be trying to 'fake it', and might be tearing themselves to pieces inside (this is the case with one of the classmates.)
The other problem I have with that advice is, who exactly is going to feel better? The person being manipulated or the person who doing the manipulating? Seriously, the disrespect! You might have no idea what's going on in that person's personal life that might be contributing to their non-smiliness. Trying to manipulate them into smiling, some people may interpret that as caring, but others may interpret it as that's all that matters. They could be bleeding in the street and nobody would give a shit, but goddammit they'd better be smiling! Seriously, if you're that threatened by someone's facial expression that you feel the need to manipulate them, maybe it's you who needs counselling.
The smile-capitulator on my face broke after the Mother's Day incident. I couldn't find any replacement parts for that model, so I replaced it with an FU transformer. It's worked a lot better after that.
Friday was cold, even had a brief blast of snow, but was also picture day. So, hot pink turtleneck belted over black jeans, steel necklace, grey cardigan, black Mary Janes.
I haven't mentioned the new job yet, have I? My EI is running out so I need to take a part-time evening job as a fill-in. One of my dance sisters was looking for a receptionist soooooo tah-dah. It's not quite enough to fill my financial requirements but it has other benefits: 1) It's in line with what I'm taking in school, so I can put it on my professional resume, b) it's more money per hour, so I can make the same money in 2 hours as I would make in 4 hours at minimum wage, so I'm not rushed after school and have a little time to relax at night after work. And 3) my dance sister has known me for years and is familiar with my quirks aaaand still offered me a reception job *chuckle* I'll just have to hope we can get the finances to work.