The Dork Legacy 7.9
Previously, on The Dork Legacy:
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This update we open with the much-requested Henry shower scene (con't). I decided not to post repeats.
Henry and Jaiden both had wants to be friends.
Henry: Do you like my merry little jig?
Jaiden: It's wonderful!
Meanwhile, Roxi Ashe here (porn star name or WHAT) decides that she and Harker will end up duelling for the affections of Shawn Patterson.
Yeah. Totally porn star.
Harker: So, I heard you dated my mom. Want to date me, too?
Shawn: Sure!
Her name is Carla. This will never be important.
Harker: I just got my first kiss! I better get out of here before someone notices!
Henry: I am not surrounded by a pirate and a soccer mom. I am not surrounded by a pirate and a soccer mom.
These two are still going strong.
Okay, soccer mom has an AWESOME name.
Congrats, you guys...but I gotta hope someone's cleaning that thing out...D:
If I had witty captions for these, I've forgotten them. Just another date.
How articulate, Henry.
Mina wanted a bronze talent badge, and as a result I accidentally had him make HER over.
That's better.
I don't understand what he's so upset about. I think he looks cool.
Mina: <.<
Take two!
Dormie: Oooh, do me next, hottie!
Mina: Okay!
Success! Minnie Mouse weeaboo is complete!
Mina keeps her word.
Dormie: Do you do brazilians, too?
Mina: Uh. No.
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW TEMPTED I WAS TO KEEP THIS.
But instead she got a skankalicious makeover. She's cute.
I sure hope you like these undies. BECAUSE HE NEVER CHANGES OUT OF THEM.
Henry: What? Exams are so much easier when you're comfy.
Mina: Oh, Jaiden, you're writing your term paper? Me too! It's about you.
Mina: Don't mind me. I'm just studying for my thesis.
Harker: There's a lot of buttcrack behind us, isn't there?
Henry: I don't know, I'm afraid to look.
Roxi: Uh oh, dude, I think they saw us! Act casual! Like we don't know each other!
SHUT UP I LIKE HENRY OKAY?
I also like Jaiden. <3
...
Roxi: Goddamn, that's gross!
Henry: Well, heeyyy there, good lookin'!
OMG OMG OMG YOU GUYYS YOU GUYSSSSS I HAVEN'T HAD A PRIMPER SINCE ROMAN.
BUT HENRY DOES IT ALL THE TIME.
I LOVE HIM.
Henry: Who's the future heir of my family? You ar -
Henry: Is that something in my teeth?
I sent Henry out to get a start on that woohoo-20-people thing. Also, bonus: his stats!
Henry: I think I got that thing in my teeth, finally.
Henry: Oh, man, my skin is so smooth! I'm so glad I don't grow facial hair!
HAI KIAN. How's extended college treating you?
Kian: Pretty good. Right now I've got enough credits for a double-major in English and History, and I'm minoring in Japanese, Graphic Design, and Pottery.
Henry: Now, let's see...who here wants to sleep with me?
Henry: Oh girl, hold up, are those MINNIE MOUSE BUNS? Be still my quivering loins!
Sadly, Holly (not Minnie, though I wish) left before the woohooing could commence. Aside from that it was pretty much a sausagefest, so here is some Henry-playing-pool spam:
Short, I know. Back to the dorm!
Where Harker is getting shot down. This...happens a lot.
And here is where the update gets interesting.
Okay. So. Originally this was just a picture of Mina about to woohoo with her boyfriend. However, Jaiden got right back out again because he was tired. Mina did not. I went about doing other things, until I eventually noticed she was still in the photobooth. I cancelled the action. No luck.
So, naturally, I forced an error on the booth, and reset. Nope. So, forced error, deleted. Both Mina and photobooth were gone. Saved the game, exited the lot, loaded it back up again.
There was Mina, standing by the mailbox. So, I directed her to go practice Romance in the mirror for the skill point she needed for class. As she entered the building, I got a double of her face on the little HUD to the left. So, graphical error, no big deal. Forced an error on Mina, dropping the mirror from her queue...but then I noticed that in her queue, instead, was Watch Movie. And she was not watching a movie.
And that's when I zoomed out. There were two of her.
Mina: You know, I really appreciate sculptures.
Mina: Wow, me too. I really feel you on that.
Mina: Woohoo! GO SOX!
Mina: Actually I prefer the Packers.
Mina: GO TEAM!
Mina: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MISSED THE GOAL!
Carla: I...think I've had too much to drink tonight.
Mina: Man, I tell ya, this halftime show is totally boring.
Mina: What sport are we watching, exactly?
Mina: Footbasehockeyball.
Mina: OMG IT'S THE SHAMWOW GUY, I LOVE THAT GUY!
Mina: IT'S NOT EVEN THAT GREAT OF A PRODUCT!
Naked Butt: Actually it's really pretty awesome. I have a few towels and they work really well.
Mina: ...
Mina: ...
GUISE, this glitch is totally worth the impending hood explodeyness.
Mina: Mind if I join you?
Mina: Not at all. If I may say so, you look really nice in that swimsuit.
Mina: Thank you!
STOP MAKING FACES AND WOOHOO ALL READY.
Later on, these two got intimate. I was vaguely hoping for some jealousy.
But Mina 2 didn't seem fazed.
Oh right, the other people. Harker is totally awesome.
Because OMG WTF IS THAT? I thought she was going to be abducted at first, but she'd never been abducted before...
But no, she was just being awesome.
Harker: I am a failure. *flex*
YES YES YES DO IT DO IT
...WHAAAAT? Don't tell me you weren't thinking the same thing.
Narcissism at its finest.
OH YOU BET I DID.
EXPERIMENT SELF-WOOHOO IS A GREAT TRIUMPH. A HUGE SUCCESS.
Henry: Both of my sisters have gotten some. But I haven't did the woohoo yet. Can I do the woohoo now please.
Very well.
Operation Mickey Mouse is underway!
Hook.
Henry: This is for you.
Line.
Henry: It reminded me of your fragile beauty, your fragrant blushing cheeks, and your tasty hips.
And sinker.
Henry: You mean there's more to it than that? I wanna do the woohoo!
Henry: You know. I haven't did the woohoo before.
Okay, sorry, I'll stop.
Anyway, I'll never get that message again, so...:P
SWAGGER <3
This seems to be a tradition.
Henry and Holly: EWWW COOTIES!
I envy Mina. Now she can practice romance...
And give hilarious makeovers to dormies simultaneously!
Actually for some reason I've gotten kind of fond of Carla, so I just gave her some makeup. Applied with scissors. It's totally safe!
Good job, Jaiden! Now you can finally beat those boys who picked on you in elementary school! (you know they did)
Harker isn't really attracted to anyone but Shawn. Which is funny, because they only have one bolt.
Roxi and her fellow buttcracker have an illicit affair going, as well!
Jaiden: Wait a second...that looks like Mina.
Jaiden: But, I swear I just saw Mina outside...
Henry: Do you get the feeling that Jaiden is a little slow on the uptake?
Harker: Oh, leave the boy alone. Besides, I'm trying to watch CSI.
And now, for unnecessary censorship, sims style!
*laugh track*
While I naturally approve of you two bonding, since you are most likely heiring together...may I suggest that generally tickling your practically-naked adult brother may not be the most socially accepted action.
I WANT TWO OF ME. D:
Aww.
*holds up a 10 sign*
Henry: I think that exam messed my hair up.
Jaiden: You know, Henry, while you have every right to check yourself out in any free moment, I need to get to my final exam or I'll fail. Can I...get past?
Henry: Just a second, can't you see I'm busy?
Okay, two things: AREN'T YOU COLD? and also WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU KEEPING THAT RAKE?!
The end! AND I proofread it this time, so I know whether or not my HTML is broken! (it's not)