(no subject)
so i haven't written in a while so lets see heres an update:
i'm happy . . . i know SHOCKER but i am i guess. i've finally found myself in a way. yes school is stressful and i suck at taking exams and sometimes that means that i have a bad grade or a few but im happy with psych i mean yeah i love HTM but it wasn't right for me. and UPC makes me happy. i've made new friends, yes i love my friends that i hang out wiht all the time but my UPC friends are great i just feel so happy when i'm at meetings. and ballroom . . . i never should have stopped dancing, because after a practice or club or coaching i am the happiest girl ever. it's who i am and it always will be. i have my first comp on april 25 too so thats exciting!!!
but i've finally found out who i am or well i've found myself in general. i'm happy, ok yes there could be more to make me happy, but i'm fine for now. yes not gonna lie being the girl i am a boy would be FABULOUS but after all of this shit with martin, i realize if i just need to be the friend who's there for guys it needs to happen. yes it sucks because it always seems like i just become friends and only friends wiht the guys that i like but i guess it happens for a reason.
and even at home i'm growing up. my room that had 1977 baby wallpaper that i grew up wiht is now taken down. and painted. ok yes its a disney collection color (mickey sailor blue) but still. i love it it's so happy in there now.
the only bad thing is that i've been shutting people out kinda, only really talking to a few people and seeing others because i have to. and i need to change that because i don't want to push people out of my life because i need them, they're there for a reason so i need to change this whole pushing people away thing because if i do that later on i might not have anyone. so from now on i'm gonna try and make an effort.
so this week= hell week too. exam that the highest i can get on it is an 80 . . . took that monday. today, i took my educational psychology exam, tomorrow i take math 113 and then friday i take my psych 100 exam that i thought was next friday. thank god its a weekend and its a long weekend.
moral of the story: some day my prince will come, it's just not now, but for now im content/happy with everything but my grades.
and now im going to kill my neighbors upstairs because i can hear theyre music THROUGH THE FLOOR and i think i can hear the girl singing . . . yes its good music but we have pandora on so yeah they can stop
later days
i'm happy . . . i know SHOCKER but i am i guess. i've finally found myself in a way. yes school is stressful and i suck at taking exams and sometimes that means that i have a bad grade or a few but im happy with psych i mean yeah i love HTM but it wasn't right for me. and UPC makes me happy. i've made new friends, yes i love my friends that i hang out wiht all the time but my UPC friends are great i just feel so happy when i'm at meetings. and ballroom . . . i never should have stopped dancing, because after a practice or club or coaching i am the happiest girl ever. it's who i am and it always will be. i have my first comp on april 25 too so thats exciting!!!
but i've finally found out who i am or well i've found myself in general. i'm happy, ok yes there could be more to make me happy, but i'm fine for now. yes not gonna lie being the girl i am a boy would be FABULOUS but after all of this shit with martin, i realize if i just need to be the friend who's there for guys it needs to happen. yes it sucks because it always seems like i just become friends and only friends wiht the guys that i like but i guess it happens for a reason.
and even at home i'm growing up. my room that had 1977 baby wallpaper that i grew up wiht is now taken down. and painted. ok yes its a disney collection color (mickey sailor blue) but still. i love it it's so happy in there now.
the only bad thing is that i've been shutting people out kinda, only really talking to a few people and seeing others because i have to. and i need to change that because i don't want to push people out of my life because i need them, they're there for a reason so i need to change this whole pushing people away thing because if i do that later on i might not have anyone. so from now on i'm gonna try and make an effort.
so this week= hell week too. exam that the highest i can get on it is an 80 . . . took that monday. today, i took my educational psychology exam, tomorrow i take math 113 and then friday i take my psych 100 exam that i thought was next friday. thank god its a weekend and its a long weekend.
moral of the story: some day my prince will come, it's just not now, but for now im content/happy with everything but my grades.
and now im going to kill my neighbors upstairs because i can hear theyre music THROUGH THE FLOOR and i think i can hear the girl singing . . . yes its good music but we have pandora on so yeah they can stop
later days