(no subject)
Last night I had the usual anxieties and nightmares.
I got up in the morning, took my morning meds, and had coffee. Then I took a shower for the first time in two weeks.
I washed my hair, applied lotion on my skin, got dressed, and when I was brushing my hair, I had two great big snags on both sides of my head. I practically had to tear them off.
I left and went to the art museum, library, shopping mall, and to a hang- out place, and then I took a bus to another town.
I was mighty triggered when two men boarded the bus and one of them vaped inside.
I got off the bus and walked to the park, but I couldn't stay for a long time because I felt so unhappy.
I walked to the bus stop and caught a bus to another town, and went to a hang- out place. I was glad to have someone to talk to.
In the evening, I walked to downtown and took a subway to another town. I went to a restaurant, there was a free concert by one of my favorite female Finnish artists, Litku Klemetti.
After the concert, I walked to downtown and caught a train back home.
Once home, I took my evening meds, and had buttered toast for supper.
I still need to brush my teeth, wash my face, and apply lotion on my skin.
I have felt faint all day. I have a huge existential crisis, and I fear the worst. I feel it as a psychosomatic pain in my body.
I just have to keep on going and enjoy my life, but it's hard when I know that I could die any moment.
I feel like nothing has meaning, because anything can happen to me and my loved ones.
Tomorrow I will pay my Disney Plus subscription, and order a ticket to a happening where I will go with Mirette and Anton.
I will meet my mother at the shopping mall, she will give me some allowance.
I will go to a Chinese restaurant with Mirette, we will celebrate Chinese New Year.
After that, we will go to Riikka's Valentine's day party.
Once back home, I need to wash a load of laundry because I am running out of clean brassiere.
On Saturday, I will go buy a new vacuum cleaner with my mom. After that, I will go visit Jani and Elisa, and then I will go see the movie Nosferatu with Anton.
On Sunday, I will go visit my parents again. I will call my granny and friends.