im sad

Jan 28, 2020 21:50

I slept last night pretty well, I only woke up once at a little before three o'clock in the morning.

I had a dream where I was in a hotel or some sort of other holiday resort outside the metropolitan area, and tried to find a bus stop and enough cash to take a bus back home.

In another dream, I was in a food court in a mall and tried to find a burger joint where I could get a vegetarian cheeseburger. I passed a restaurant where someone had tipped a plateful of spaghetti bolognese on a young girl's head, and the server was bringing her six Sprite bottles on a silver plate to comfort her.

In yet another dream, the RED team from the game Team Fortress 2 was fighting ghosts. One of them turned out to be Demoman's long- gone father, who hugged his son and told him he loved him and is proud of him.

I also had a dream that's too pornographic to be written about.

I guess the sleeping meds worked a bit too well because I got up at four o'clock in the afternoon; I had slept past Twinkle group and the movie I was supposed to go see today and had already paid the ticket for, but I was going through the seven stages of grief as usual when getting up from the bed.

I took my morning medicine and did the everyday skincare routine. I got dressed and called my mother, asking her if I can come over. She said I can.

I was thinking of walking to my parents' home, but I was too lazy so I took a bus.

Once at my parents' home, my mother answered the door. She gave me the weekly allowance, made me an omelette with some potato mash, and some coffee as well. I also ate feta cheese, cherry tomatoes, and a satsuma.

I was feeling sad and on the verge of crying, and I couldn't understand why. I had eaten at least something today, taken my meds, and also, my period was not due.

Later that day, my dad came home from the gym and was his usual cheerful self.

I hugged and kissed both of my parents, and then I took a bus back to my hometown; I didn't even think of walking.

I went to the shopping mall and bought coffee grounds, a roll of biodegradable bio- waste bags, a packet of biodegradable paper bags, and a bottle of dishwashing liquid.
Then I went to the pharmacy and picked up my anti- psychotic medicine and nasal sprays.

I went back home, took my evening medicine and sprayed the nasal spray into both of my nostrils, charged my smartphone, and changed into a nightie.

Right now as I am writing this, the feeling in my arms fluctuate from hot to cold and I feel like I am on the verge of losing my mind.

It's not like today was a bad day, I just feel sad and angry for no reason at all xC

weekly allowance, real life, pharmacy, team fortress 2, parents, shopping, dreams

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