Seasonal pastry in Finland
Last night I had a peculiar dream.
I was in Silent Hill, the town from the survival horror video game with the same name. I ran through murky streets, until I ended up in a huge factory hall, and climbed up a rope that hung from the ceiling. Down there, there were my own personal monsters waiting to attack me, until I let go of the rope and fell down, down, down, down, like Alice down the rabbit hole.
Then I woke up, slowly, and felt the softness of my bed and the texture of my counterpane that had ended up under my blanket. It was an amazing feeling.
I continued sleeping until it was half past noon. I fell back asleep, thinking of gathering more energy, then I woke up again and noticed that another half an hour had passed.
Today I made the decision that I am no longer going to quarrel with my delusions. For the past fourteen years, I have suffered from delusions; they are like people who make fun or harass me, and I try to quiet them down by arguing with them, but it never works.
Anyway, today I made the decision that I am not going to “talk” to them; if you installed spy cameras into my apartment and viewed my life through them, you would notice that I quarrel with the delusions when I am alone. A lot. And sometimes it’s noisy.
One of the reasons why I made this decision is because one of my friends whose name and gender I will not reveal in order to protect their identity, almost got kicked out of their apartment for quarreling with their delusions and throwing stuff and punching walls. I respect my neighbors and myself as well, so I don’t want to suffer the same fate.
Anyway, I got up, took my morning medicine, and didn’t bother with having a wash or eating a decent breakfast. I just got dressed and left.
I took a train to downtown and went to Twinkle café. Mella told me I was the first visitor.
I gave Mella her Valentine’s day card and talked a bit with her.
I ate just enough treats not to make myself sick.
My friend Lita messaged me and asked if she can come over to pick up the laundry she had washed at my home. I said she can.
Later that day, I left. I took a tram to downtown, then a train back to my home town.
I went to the pharmacy to pick up more of Nasonex, and also requested two packages of my anti- psychotic medicine. I had renewed my anti- depressant and mood controller prescriptions yesterday.
I also popped to the mail box, and sent the first batch of Valentine’s day cards; I have saved my friends’ addresses into my smartphone according to birthdays, from January 1st to December 31st. So, if your birthday is between August and December, you will get your Valentine’s day card later this month. It has nothing to do with my relationship with you, but everything to do with my issues with time and money.
I also mailed a few birthday cards to those who have their birthday this month.
I went back home, Lita was waiting for me. I left her in, we had coffee together and talked a lot while I knitted another quilt square. I made cinnamon roll- flavored instant oatmeal porridge for supper, and put on my workout clothes.
Lita took a shower, and then we left together. I went to the gym, but this time I didn’t feel like doing stretches or the posture exercises, I just went straight to the treadmill and watched the movie The Lovely Bones on my Netflix app.
I walked for 40 minutes, then I went back home.
Tomorrow I will go to the good life habits group at the psychiatric center, and give Hilda her Valentine’s day card. Then I will go to Horror Shop with Suavecita, and give Perkele his birthday and Valentine’s day card, and also ask him to give my birthday card to his wife who has her birthday later this month.
After that, I will go to the swimming pool in my parents’ home town, and swim as much as I can.
On Thursday, I will have an appointment with my own nurse at the psychiatric center. I will give her a Valentine’s day card as well.
After that I will go to the Valentine’s day party at Girls’ House, then I will go to the youth group at the local church, and then I will go to the gym again; I will do stretches and then walk on the treadmill for an hour.
On Friday I will receive money. I will go to the dressmaker and pay for my mended dress, and go to the supermarket to buy party food, and paper cups and plates and such.
Mirette will come for a sleepover at my home, she will leave her bags and then we will go downtown.
We will go to our favorite vintage thrift shops. There is a discount, all clothes five euros at maximum.
In the evening, we will go to the Red Cross youth group.
On Saturday, I will host a Valentine’s day party at my home for my friends.
On Saturday, after the sleepover friends have left, I will go see my parents so that my dad can give me the weekly allowance. I will walk there and back and take the plastic waste to recycling on the way there.
Once at my parents’ home, I will call my granny.
I will go to a café downtown, and enjoy a full feast; a sandwich with cold- smoked salmon and eggs benedict, yogurt with granola and berry jam, and a Runeberg tart (a seasonal pastry in my home country).
I was in Silent Hill, the town from the survival horror video game with the same name. I ran through murky streets, until I ended up in a huge factory hall, and climbed up a rope that hung from the ceiling. Down there, there were my own personal monsters waiting to attack me, until I let go of the rope and fell down, down, down, down, like Alice down the rabbit hole.
Then I woke up, slowly, and felt the softness of my bed and the texture of my counterpane that had ended up under my blanket. It was an amazing feeling.
I continued sleeping until it was half past noon. I fell back asleep, thinking of gathering more energy, then I woke up again and noticed that another half an hour had passed.
Today I made the decision that I am no longer going to quarrel with my delusions. For the past fourteen years, I have suffered from delusions; they are like people who make fun or harass me, and I try to quiet them down by arguing with them, but it never works.
Anyway, today I made the decision that I am not going to “talk” to them; if you installed spy cameras into my apartment and viewed my life through them, you would notice that I quarrel with the delusions when I am alone. A lot. And sometimes it’s noisy.
One of the reasons why I made this decision is because one of my friends whose name and gender I will not reveal in order to protect their identity, almost got kicked out of their apartment for quarreling with their delusions and throwing stuff and punching walls. I respect my neighbors and myself as well, so I don’t want to suffer the same fate.
Anyway, I got up, took my morning medicine, and didn’t bother with having a wash or eating a decent breakfast. I just got dressed and left.
I took a train to downtown and went to Twinkle café. Mella told me I was the first visitor.
I gave Mella her Valentine’s day card and talked a bit with her.
I ate just enough treats not to make myself sick.
My friend Lita messaged me and asked if she can come over to pick up the laundry she had washed at my home. I said she can.
Later that day, I left. I took a tram to downtown, then a train back to my home town.
I went to the pharmacy to pick up more of Nasonex, and also requested two packages of my anti- psychotic medicine. I had renewed my anti- depressant and mood controller prescriptions yesterday.
I also popped to the mail box, and sent the first batch of Valentine’s day cards; I have saved my friends’ addresses into my smartphone according to birthdays, from January 1st to December 31st. So, if your birthday is between August and December, you will get your Valentine’s day card later this month. It has nothing to do with my relationship with you, but everything to do with my issues with time and money.
I also mailed a few birthday cards to those who have their birthday this month.
I went back home, Lita was waiting for me. I left her in, we had coffee together and talked a lot while I knitted another quilt square. I made cinnamon roll- flavored instant oatmeal porridge for supper, and put on my workout clothes.
Lita took a shower, and then we left together. I went to the gym, but this time I didn’t feel like doing stretches or the posture exercises, I just went straight to the treadmill and watched the movie The Lovely Bones on my Netflix app.
I walked for 40 minutes, then I went back home.
Tomorrow I will go to the good life habits group at the psychiatric center, and give Hilda her Valentine’s day card. Then I will go to Horror Shop with Suavecita, and give Perkele his birthday and Valentine’s day card, and also ask him to give my birthday card to his wife who has her birthday later this month.
After that, I will go to the swimming pool in my parents’ home town, and swim as much as I can.
On Thursday, I will have an appointment with my own nurse at the psychiatric center. I will give her a Valentine’s day card as well.
After that I will go to the Valentine’s day party at Girls’ House, then I will go to the youth group at the local church, and then I will go to the gym again; I will do stretches and then walk on the treadmill for an hour.
On Friday I will receive money. I will go to the dressmaker and pay for my mended dress, and go to the supermarket to buy party food, and paper cups and plates and such.
Mirette will come for a sleepover at my home, she will leave her bags and then we will go downtown.
We will go to our favorite vintage thrift shops. There is a discount, all clothes five euros at maximum.
In the evening, we will go to the Red Cross youth group.
On Saturday, I will host a Valentine’s day party at my home for my friends.
On Saturday, after the sleepover friends have left, I will go see my parents so that my dad can give me the weekly allowance. I will walk there and back and take the plastic waste to recycling on the way there.
Once at my parents’ home, I will call my granny.
I will go to a café downtown, and enjoy a full feast; a sandwich with cold- smoked salmon and eggs benedict, yogurt with granola and berry jam, and a Runeberg tart (a seasonal pastry in my home country).