I'm not stupid, honestly, I'm not
I'm thinking of taking a Mensa test. There's one in my home town in a couple of weeks. I've always felt that it's kind of silly to take tests no-one's making you take just to prove that you're smart or whatever, but now I'm sorely tempted.
Thing is, there are so many times when I feel stupid. And I tell myself, "I am NOT stupid, not getting this is PERFECTLY FINE." But it'd be nice to have it in black on white. (Am I sure I'd pass the test? Of course not. But I'm pretty sure it'd show that I'm not stupid.)
Most of the time, I get the feeling when I'm trying to sign a form. I hate forms. I once had a job where the boss had to call me up practically every month because I hadn't sent in a form, or had written it wrong, because I hate forms. Sometimes the questions really are messed up. One form for travelling at my present job has the question "utgår lunch", where "utgår" is a word that, according to tyda.se, can mean start, exit, proceed, expire, or emanate. That one always trips me up. Sometimes the questions are easy, but there are so many things to be signed all over and other squares to be filled in by other people, that I miss one anyway.
It's not just forms, though. In the past couple of weeks, it's been two things. The first is that I'm trying to read The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, and I keep having to check the blurbs, and the BTJ review, and make sure that, yes, they're actually saying that this is a good, award-winning book. Because I keep being reminded of the parodically cranky reviewer in one of Petter Lidbeck's children's books who said, "If you can't say what you want in 200 pages, you might as well not bother!" I've made it to page 350-ish, and it's SO BORING. Page after page with absolutely NO ADVANCEMENT of plot or character. (And yet I don't give up. And other books are piling up that I should read before I have to return them to the library. Perhaps I am stupid after all.)
The other thing that has made me feel stupid is trying to help the summer school kids with their math assignments. I don't teach them maths, but sometimes they want to work with that anyway. (Voluntarily. IDEK.) Now, I had top grades in maths all the way through high school. I found it mind-numbingly boring, but I could do it. These are third-graders, and I can't solve their math problems. Oh, I know the answers - I just don't get the methods they're supposed to use.
For instance, one assignment showed four piles with two candies in each, and you were supposed to say which of the following represented the piles better: 1*8, 2*4, 4*2 or 4*4. To which I couldn't figure out whether it'd be 2*4 or 4*2. I talked to the other teachers about it afterwards, and one of them got a patient, kind look and explained that there's a difference between two hands with five fingers... and I filled in, yes, and five hands with two fingers, but in terms of numbers, which is which, and why does it matter?
I didn't say, "Hey lady, I'M NOT STUPID." I did say that it depends on whether you read it from the right or left - words are read from the left, but numbers from the right. (Though calculations are done left-to-right, with subtraction and division at least, so I guess that would make... no, I still can't tell which number is the piles and which is the candies, and why it matters.)
The conversation then turned into me trying to explain Danish numbers (which is hilariously counterintuitive to a Swede since Danes count in scores and half-scores), so I never did get an answer. But even if I'd had one, there'd be other math assignments the next time a kid asks me that I won't be able to get, because math textbooks are all about using the right method and not at all about getting the right answer. (And maybe it works, what do I know? I saw kids adding 64+20 in a column, which made me go "...Do I tell them that they can just add the 2 to the 6? Can they even figure that one out?")
So, yeah. I could use something to tell me I'm not stupid, because it doesn't quite work when I tell myself.
This entry was originally posted at http://katta.dreamwidth.org/586779.html and has
comments there.
Thing is, there are so many times when I feel stupid. And I tell myself, "I am NOT stupid, not getting this is PERFECTLY FINE." But it'd be nice to have it in black on white. (Am I sure I'd pass the test? Of course not. But I'm pretty sure it'd show that I'm not stupid.)
Most of the time, I get the feeling when I'm trying to sign a form. I hate forms. I once had a job where the boss had to call me up practically every month because I hadn't sent in a form, or had written it wrong, because I hate forms. Sometimes the questions really are messed up. One form for travelling at my present job has the question "utgår lunch", where "utgår" is a word that, according to tyda.se, can mean start, exit, proceed, expire, or emanate. That one always trips me up. Sometimes the questions are easy, but there are so many things to be signed all over and other squares to be filled in by other people, that I miss one anyway.
It's not just forms, though. In the past couple of weeks, it's been two things. The first is that I'm trying to read The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, and I keep having to check the blurbs, and the BTJ review, and make sure that, yes, they're actually saying that this is a good, award-winning book. Because I keep being reminded of the parodically cranky reviewer in one of Petter Lidbeck's children's books who said, "If you can't say what you want in 200 pages, you might as well not bother!" I've made it to page 350-ish, and it's SO BORING. Page after page with absolutely NO ADVANCEMENT of plot or character. (And yet I don't give up. And other books are piling up that I should read before I have to return them to the library. Perhaps I am stupid after all.)
The other thing that has made me feel stupid is trying to help the summer school kids with their math assignments. I don't teach them maths, but sometimes they want to work with that anyway. (Voluntarily. IDEK.) Now, I had top grades in maths all the way through high school. I found it mind-numbingly boring, but I could do it. These are third-graders, and I can't solve their math problems. Oh, I know the answers - I just don't get the methods they're supposed to use.
For instance, one assignment showed four piles with two candies in each, and you were supposed to say which of the following represented the piles better: 1*8, 2*4, 4*2 or 4*4. To which I couldn't figure out whether it'd be 2*4 or 4*2. I talked to the other teachers about it afterwards, and one of them got a patient, kind look and explained that there's a difference between two hands with five fingers... and I filled in, yes, and five hands with two fingers, but in terms of numbers, which is which, and why does it matter?
I didn't say, "Hey lady, I'M NOT STUPID." I did say that it depends on whether you read it from the right or left - words are read from the left, but numbers from the right. (Though calculations are done left-to-right, with subtraction and division at least, so I guess that would make... no, I still can't tell which number is the piles and which is the candies, and why it matters.)
The conversation then turned into me trying to explain Danish numbers (which is hilariously counterintuitive to a Swede since Danes count in scores and half-scores), so I never did get an answer. But even if I'd had one, there'd be other math assignments the next time a kid asks me that I won't be able to get, because math textbooks are all about using the right method and not at all about getting the right answer. (And maybe it works, what do I know? I saw kids adding 64+20 in a column, which made me go "...Do I tell them that they can just add the 2 to the 6? Can they even figure that one out?")
So, yeah. I could use something to tell me I'm not stupid, because it doesn't quite work when I tell myself.
This entry was originally posted at http://katta.dreamwidth.org/586779.html and has
comments there.