TiggerBear
The first time i saw you i was in love. The cutest little round stuffed animal i have ever seen. Little tufts of hair inbetween your toes, shaggy ears and a pink and black tongue. When you would walk your back legs moved faster than your front ones, so you looked like you were walking sideways. i often wondered what you would do when your tail caught up to your head. A dog contest judge would say that your legs are too short for your body and your feet and head way too big. In my eyes you were perfect. Life had gotten too hard for you this past year. In addition to the separation anxiety you had arthritis, were going deaf and had a healthy dose of dementia and alheizmers. You would get a scared look in your eyes and start to search for whatever it was you had lost. You got lost in the house and backyard, sometimes you forgot your name but you still knew Jenn and me. I knew that the time had come to let you go. Before you forgot us and had to feel scared, confused, panicky and alone. While your journey could still be a good and peaceful thing. You had the best week this week. It was all about the boy and spending time with him. Yesterday we took you to the vet. You were to get a total of 2 shots. You leaned on me, like always, and when we gave you the first shot you did not even flinch. I wanted to undo what had begun-until I remembered that it was about you and your quality of life and happiness-not about me keeping you to make me happy. We finally convinced you that it was okay to lay down, and Jenn was on your left side and I was on your right. We had to give you an extra shot-stubborn like your mama I guess. You kept your head in my lap until we got you to lay down, then I held it cradled in my right hand while I petted you with my left and Jenn petted and held you on the other side. Then the last shot came. You had calm, happy, peaceful eyes. Grateful eyes. By this time the vet had gone to allow us family time. Then Jenn left so I could say goodbye to you. You just looked like you do when you are sleeping, I whispered and moved quietly so you would not wake up. I did not want to leave unless you were really gone. I keep expecting to see you when I turn around. I listen for the sound of your tags clinking on your collar. Last night I went downstairs to do laundry, and I held the door open and waited for you to go down with me. I didn't even realize I was doing it. I know that this was the very best thing to do, you would have done it for me too. I just miss you so much. You have a special room in my heart, my Little Man. Momma loves ya.