(no subject)

[katmarfo]

I start to write anything and I just can’t do it. I guess all I can say right now is, I’m so damn confused. I’m so confused about life. I’m beginning to realize that there’s a huge, gaping difference between what I want to believe and what I actually believe. No matter how much I like to think I shun conventional, dualistic thought, it all comes back to that. I can tell myself all I want that I’m not a bad person - and I really truly don’t think I am - and I really like to think I don’t even believe there is such a thing as a bad person - but I FEEL like I am, and there are very real consequences for that feeling, like the way I consequently act and the things I consequently say and the relationships I consequently endanger, and I keep learning the frustrating goddamn lesson that logic won’t work on every problem and I don’t know what does. I feel so overwhelmed whenever I even try to start to think about considering tackling my neuroses.

Also, CU changed the webmail system and I can’t figure out how to use it and it’s really fucking annoying.

Other stuff. Bleh. Headache.