Because fanfiction is funny.
Excerpt from Chapter 31 of Slushie Shots by LazyLiChan
“What the hell are you smiling about?” Puck asked gruffly as he made his way over. His eyes landed on Santana and Brittany, who were giggling and whispering to each other, and he smirked. “Whoa, check out the les-”
“Shh! Noah, don’t say something degrading or juvenile!” she hissed, elbowing him. “I think that their relationship is beautiful and deserves to be respected, and I refuse to hear-”
“Dude, did you just say that you thought lesbians were hot?”
“Noah, your selective hearing is really testing my patience.”
______________________________________________________________________________
And this is at the very end of the chapter-
“Fine. Finish up,” he grumbled sullenly, sinking into his seat and hunching up his shoulders defensively.
Rachel stared at his sudden change in demeanor. “Noah, are you…are you pouting?”
“Am not!” he sputtered. “That’s fucking ridiculous!” And then he grumbled ‘Brother? What the fucking hell?’ under his breath.
She sighed and continued, “After Kurt made those comments about you, he left and Mike asked me if I did view you as a brother. To which I responded that while I’ve come to see Dani as a little sister and your mother as the closest thing I’d ever have for a mother figure, I did not, for whatever reason, view you as a brother.”
“…Really?” he asked, sounding a little less grumpy.
“Yes. Why is it such a big deal?”
Because brothers and sisters don’t make out with each other and we should totally try it sometime ‘cause we’re two good lookin’ Jews.
“Because it’d be fucking weird, that's why,” was what he said out loud.
“What the hell are you smiling about?” Puck asked gruffly as he made his way over. His eyes landed on Santana and Brittany, who were giggling and whispering to each other, and he smirked. “Whoa, check out the les-”
“Shh! Noah, don’t say something degrading or juvenile!” she hissed, elbowing him. “I think that their relationship is beautiful and deserves to be respected, and I refuse to hear-”
“Dude, did you just say that you thought lesbians were hot?”
“Noah, your selective hearing is really testing my patience.”
______________________________________________________________________________
And this is at the very end of the chapter-
“Fine. Finish up,” he grumbled sullenly, sinking into his seat and hunching up his shoulders defensively.
Rachel stared at his sudden change in demeanor. “Noah, are you…are you pouting?”
“Am not!” he sputtered. “That’s fucking ridiculous!” And then he grumbled ‘Brother? What the fucking hell?’ under his breath.
She sighed and continued, “After Kurt made those comments about you, he left and Mike asked me if I did view you as a brother. To which I responded that while I’ve come to see Dani as a little sister and your mother as the closest thing I’d ever have for a mother figure, I did not, for whatever reason, view you as a brother.”
“…Really?” he asked, sounding a little less grumpy.
“Yes. Why is it such a big deal?”
Because brothers and sisters don’t make out with each other and we should totally try it sometime ‘cause we’re two good lookin’ Jews.
“Because it’d be fucking weird, that's why,” was what he said out loud.