snow
it's snowing out. yuck. and it's cold. double yuck. had to turn on the heat in the apartment last night. why couldn't I go to a law school outside of Michigan? oh yeah, because I fucked up my LSATs and couldn't get into the places I wanted to go, and then got in a relationship and decided not to apply at the schools in other parts of the country that I may have had a chance to get into. stupid stupid stupid. c'est la vie. can always transfer... need to start looking at schools elsewhere.
stressed. perpetual headache. I'm starting to get really hot bags under my eyes. maybe I should start actually putting on a bit of make up to cover them up. I also have two zits, along with the starting of wrinkles. my poor skin is suffering. not cool. it was a busy week though. studying in East Lansing monday. meeting tuesday morning and then sanity session tuesday afternoon. review session yesterday morning and two meetings yesterday afternoon. today ARC seminar on the negligence essay and then a rugby meeting. have another ARC seminar on Saturday evening. putting in some gym time. Trang came with me last night and she's pondering joining my gym, which would be cool because I'd have someone to work out with. lots of practice essays and more touch ups on my outlines and practice MC questions to do this weekend before the Michigan-Ohio State football game. Phil and I will be battling for bragging rights. then next week have double class monday, contracts and property, yuck. bust some ass Tuesday, and then Wednesday after class dropping Trang off at the airport in Lansing, picking Jameson up at the airport in GR on the way home, and spending a few days at home eating actual meals and doing laundry and more work. seeing family and such. *sigh* in a month, I'll be home with the semester and can breathe for a couple weeks and thank God that the most hellish semester, few months, of my life is over.
the thoughts are fleeting now. catch me as I'm sitting on the bus, or as I'm trying to fall asleep. however, they don't change. they go from one extreme to the other, and there's nothing in between. the only conclusion that I can come to it that it's not going to work.... and that's how it will have to be.
heard this on the radio the other day, actually driving to see Dr. Simon, and well, it kinda hits. certain parts of it
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
stressed. perpetual headache. I'm starting to get really hot bags under my eyes. maybe I should start actually putting on a bit of make up to cover them up. I also have two zits, along with the starting of wrinkles. my poor skin is suffering. not cool. it was a busy week though. studying in East Lansing monday. meeting tuesday morning and then sanity session tuesday afternoon. review session yesterday morning and two meetings yesterday afternoon. today ARC seminar on the negligence essay and then a rugby meeting. have another ARC seminar on Saturday evening. putting in some gym time. Trang came with me last night and she's pondering joining my gym, which would be cool because I'd have someone to work out with. lots of practice essays and more touch ups on my outlines and practice MC questions to do this weekend before the Michigan-Ohio State football game. Phil and I will be battling for bragging rights. then next week have double class monday, contracts and property, yuck. bust some ass Tuesday, and then Wednesday after class dropping Trang off at the airport in Lansing, picking Jameson up at the airport in GR on the way home, and spending a few days at home eating actual meals and doing laundry and more work. seeing family and such. *sigh* in a month, I'll be home with the semester and can breathe for a couple weeks and thank God that the most hellish semester, few months, of my life is over.
the thoughts are fleeting now. catch me as I'm sitting on the bus, or as I'm trying to fall asleep. however, they don't change. they go from one extreme to the other, and there's nothing in between. the only conclusion that I can come to it that it's not going to work.... and that's how it will have to be.
heard this on the radio the other day, actually driving to see Dr. Simon, and well, it kinda hits. certain parts of it
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you