feeling odd

Jan 30, 2009 20:36

I feel like I often feel at the end of a day when I have a Friday off, but the strange thing is that I went to work today.  I left a couple hours early since I know in advance that I'll be in on my next day off for a few hours in the afternoon.  I came home, started the laundry, walked around the neighborhood and got some errands done, finished the laundry, and picked up a good book.  I was interrupted for about an hour by a phone call and then I was so hungry that I had to make dinner.  At that point, it was fully dark outside.  I had been hoping to go for a run tonight, but I find myself more reluctant to run at night in our new neighborhood.  It's not as well lit as the last one and we're closer to the heart of the city here.  It's not as pleasant to run at night as it was in Lakewood.  So I probably won't run, which is too bad because I'm trying to get back to a decent level of being in shape.  My other excuse is that my knee is twinging, but of course I'll be out blues dancing tonight, so my excuse apparently only applies to activities I don't particularly want to do.

I finished my book before I had made the decision not to go running tonight.

To go back to what I said at the beginning of this post, I feel like I do on my Fridays off.  I feel introvertive and introspective.  When I don't have interaction with people for most of the day, I start folding in on myself a bit.  Right now, I'd love to go find a quiet place out in nature and meditate for a while.  But I can't because I live in a gigantic city and nature is hard to find.  Sure, I could go to the beach, but being at the beach by myself at night is probably a stupid, danger-prone idea.  I can't really think of any other place nearby where I would be shielded from the sounds of cars driving past and people living their lives.  So, instead, I'll go dancing and try to pull myself out, try to enjoy the company and to melt into the music, continuing my ongoing battle to be a little more extroverted.  Some days it's easier to tell that, at best, I'm only fighting a holding action in that battle.
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