Gender
For reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, this past Sunday about five minutes after I got up I was presented by my uncle with a retirement visioning exercise that involved doing the if-you-could-invite-anyone-to-dinner thought experiment at different points in your life. I eventually refused to do it on the basis that I felt uncomfortable and also I didn't want to, but my parents completed it. Their answers ended up going something like this:
MY FATHER: Well, for this time period I invited my parents, because I miss them and I'd like them to see how I'm doing, and also Arnold Palmer because they both really liked golf and I think they'd enjoy meeting him.
MY MOTHER: For this time period I invited my brother [n.b. the oldest one, who she liked to argue with about politics], Gandhi, and Hitler. Let's put 'em in a room together and see what happens!
MY FATHER: For this time period I invited my kids and my wife, because they're the people I want around me at the end of my life.
MY MOTHER: I'm inviting Jesus, the Pope, and Martin Luther. Let's do this thing. [n.b. my mother is an atheist]
I'm just saying, despite a family setup that was traditional in many ways, it was not exactly an upbringing that led to a lot of gender essentialist ideas about who is and is not confrontational.
(I think there is a better than 50% chance that she listed Hitler mainly to mess with my uncle, but the "Dad sets up thoughtful dinner parties where everyone will have a nice time, Mom sets up something between an intellectual Parisian salon and Thunderdome" contrast was still pretty funny. So now all of you get to enjoy it too.)
MY FATHER: Well, for this time period I invited my parents, because I miss them and I'd like them to see how I'm doing, and also Arnold Palmer because they both really liked golf and I think they'd enjoy meeting him.
MY MOTHER: For this time period I invited my brother [n.b. the oldest one, who she liked to argue with about politics], Gandhi, and Hitler. Let's put 'em in a room together and see what happens!
MY FATHER: For this time period I invited my kids and my wife, because they're the people I want around me at the end of my life.
MY MOTHER: I'm inviting Jesus, the Pope, and Martin Luther. Let's do this thing. [n.b. my mother is an atheist]
I'm just saying, despite a family setup that was traditional in many ways, it was not exactly an upbringing that led to a lot of gender essentialist ideas about who is and is not confrontational.
(I think there is a better than 50% chance that she listed Hitler mainly to mess with my uncle, but the "Dad sets up thoughtful dinner parties where everyone will have a nice time, Mom sets up something between an intellectual Parisian salon and Thunderdome" contrast was still pretty funny. So now all of you get to enjoy it too.)