how the proverb lied
She looks over at him from the couch...on his phone again. She'd ask who he's talking to but she knows he'd just lie about it. As hard as she tries to block all of the insecurities out of her mind she knows deep down. I mean, he's the one who asked for here again right? It would only make sense that he had finally figured out what he wanted all along. Her. After all of the conversations about not lying anymore, to only wanting to be with eachother its finally come down to this night.
Don't get me wrong, she's a very smart girl. She knew about all of the myspace messages and texts and late night phone calls. She just alwas kept her mouth shut though, y'know? She had the guy of her dreams...and she figured one day he'd realize that they were perfect for eachother. He's still young too...maybe its one of those things where he just needed to get it out of his system.
As she watched him next her she thought of that old proverb, "If you love something, let it go..if it comes back, it will be yours forever, and if it doesn't, it was never meant to be." She shifted a bit on the couch, the house was kind of cold. She held back tears and thought about the last couple of weeks without him...how much of a hell they had been. All she cared about was having him back now...for good she thought. Well, like the proverb said she let him go; they let eachother go. But it said that if they both came back it was meant to be...so why all of this pain now? Why hasn't he learned?
Who knows, maybe she was being fooled the entire time. She's always treated him like a king. Maybe all he really missed was the attention she gave him. Maybe it was because his family liked her so much that it seemed weird not having her around. Whatever the case, all that mattered now was finding that balance so he could have what he wanted from both of the girls. He really hoped she'd never find out about all of the lies he told her...maybe he just didn't care because he knew she'd always come back in the end. Besides, she's gotten rather pudgy over the last month. She's nothing special anymore.
Finally, she's had enough. She puts on her shoes and he gives her a hug and a kiss goodnight. Just like the past couple of nights, he still doesn't tell her he loves her. She's noticed that lately. He used to say it all the time..so why not know? She knows there's another girl, THAT girl. She'd rather not believe it.
She gets in her car and lights up a cigarette. Finally fed up with it all, she asked him if he really wanted to be with her. He replies that he doesn't know. She breaks into tears. Once again...the one person in the world who treats her most like shit and the one she can't live without turns his back on her again. She takes a long drag and focuses herself. The next couple days will be hell like always. She'll cry...cry more...then cry a little more. She'll try to eat but nothing stays down. She'll look for her friends for support but this time they are all gone. She has nobody on her side. She's alone.
Car pulls up to her spot on the street. Puts out her cigarette and sets her phone to silent. All she can think about is how unwelcomed she is in this house. How she needs to leave...but can't. She's broke. there's nobody in the world that can help her now. Silent thoughts of suicide or just plain giving up all together enter her mind. Nah, she blocks those out. She's better than that. She's got her whole life ahead...but none of that matters now. They had made plans together. Now she realizes that all of that was just talk to keep her around longer.
Before she cries herself to sleep she thinks of the proverb again. Bullshit, she says to herself. Because she's a cynical person, she rewrites it to suit her needs.
"If you love someone, you're stupid. If he comes back, he'll fuck you over once again. If he doesn't, he's probably with your sister. "
Don't get me wrong, she's a very smart girl. She knew about all of the myspace messages and texts and late night phone calls. She just alwas kept her mouth shut though, y'know? She had the guy of her dreams...and she figured one day he'd realize that they were perfect for eachother. He's still young too...maybe its one of those things where he just needed to get it out of his system.
As she watched him next her she thought of that old proverb, "If you love something, let it go..if it comes back, it will be yours forever, and if it doesn't, it was never meant to be." She shifted a bit on the couch, the house was kind of cold. She held back tears and thought about the last couple of weeks without him...how much of a hell they had been. All she cared about was having him back now...for good she thought. Well, like the proverb said she let him go; they let eachother go. But it said that if they both came back it was meant to be...so why all of this pain now? Why hasn't he learned?
Who knows, maybe she was being fooled the entire time. She's always treated him like a king. Maybe all he really missed was the attention she gave him. Maybe it was because his family liked her so much that it seemed weird not having her around. Whatever the case, all that mattered now was finding that balance so he could have what he wanted from both of the girls. He really hoped she'd never find out about all of the lies he told her...maybe he just didn't care because he knew she'd always come back in the end. Besides, she's gotten rather pudgy over the last month. She's nothing special anymore.
Finally, she's had enough. She puts on her shoes and he gives her a hug and a kiss goodnight. Just like the past couple of nights, he still doesn't tell her he loves her. She's noticed that lately. He used to say it all the time..so why not know? She knows there's another girl, THAT girl. She'd rather not believe it.
She gets in her car and lights up a cigarette. Finally fed up with it all, she asked him if he really wanted to be with her. He replies that he doesn't know. She breaks into tears. Once again...the one person in the world who treats her most like shit and the one she can't live without turns his back on her again. She takes a long drag and focuses herself. The next couple days will be hell like always. She'll cry...cry more...then cry a little more. She'll try to eat but nothing stays down. She'll look for her friends for support but this time they are all gone. She has nobody on her side. She's alone.
Car pulls up to her spot on the street. Puts out her cigarette and sets her phone to silent. All she can think about is how unwelcomed she is in this house. How she needs to leave...but can't. She's broke. there's nobody in the world that can help her now. Silent thoughts of suicide or just plain giving up all together enter her mind. Nah, she blocks those out. She's better than that. She's got her whole life ahead...but none of that matters now. They had made plans together. Now she realizes that all of that was just talk to keep her around longer.
Before she cries herself to sleep she thinks of the proverb again. Bullshit, she says to herself. Because she's a cynical person, she rewrites it to suit her needs.
"If you love someone, you're stupid. If he comes back, he'll fuck you over once again. If he doesn't, he's probably with your sister. "