Heel Turn
I am the voice of reason. Had to be. No one else was doing it. Alcoholic father, crazy mother, baby sister and me.
I learned early to listen to what's not said, to watch for cues. To tamp out the sparks before they catch. It makes me good at calming people down, at negotiating. All those years of tailoring myself to be whatever keeps the peace.
Let's all just take a breath a minute.
I am a righteous bitch. No, really, I used the b-word. It's not a misogynistic degradation of my womanhood. I mean I am the snarling, ruff-raised mama dog. Stay the fuck away from what I love or I will leave you bloody.
When you slag the mountains and spoil the water, kill creatures and oppress people for profit, I will rage and howl.
But I am the voice of reason, and my heart breaks because this bitch lives on a choke chain.
* * *
Here's what I know about being rational. It's hard to do when emotions swell. It just is. It's chemical. It's how our brains work.
I can know the sides of an issue, and understand viewpoints and conjure metaphors and put big concepts into little images that are easier to understand.
I can do that. A lot of the time I do that.
I want to do that right now. Right now I'm struggling to do that,
But there is so much goddamned stupid out there, it makes me crazy.
As a nation we're so divided. Huge unrelated issues have been packed into one of two bags, and people have bought the idea that they have to pick one bag or the other, and everything in it. We've somehow forgotten that we can question without betraying, that we can understand without believing, that we can reject a strategy without rejecting the person proposing it.
Because labels are easier. I'm x, so that means I support A, B, and C.
That shit is killing us.
And sometimes the mood is right (wrong) and my keyboard clatters as I rant and spew as reasonably as I possibly can. While my hackles raise and my inner bitch snarls. Gods, I want to let her off the chain.
I want to set the fire.
--
This has been my entry for Week 6 of therealljidol. The topic was "Heel Turn," which is a term for when the hero becomes a villain, or vice versa. Thanks for reading.
I learned early to listen to what's not said, to watch for cues. To tamp out the sparks before they catch. It makes me good at calming people down, at negotiating. All those years of tailoring myself to be whatever keeps the peace.
Let's all just take a breath a minute.
I am a righteous bitch. No, really, I used the b-word. It's not a misogynistic degradation of my womanhood. I mean I am the snarling, ruff-raised mama dog. Stay the fuck away from what I love or I will leave you bloody.
When you slag the mountains and spoil the water, kill creatures and oppress people for profit, I will rage and howl.
But I am the voice of reason, and my heart breaks because this bitch lives on a choke chain.
* * *
Here's what I know about being rational. It's hard to do when emotions swell. It just is. It's chemical. It's how our brains work.
I can know the sides of an issue, and understand viewpoints and conjure metaphors and put big concepts into little images that are easier to understand.
I can do that. A lot of the time I do that.
I want to do that right now. Right now I'm struggling to do that,
But there is so much goddamned stupid out there, it makes me crazy.
As a nation we're so divided. Huge unrelated issues have been packed into one of two bags, and people have bought the idea that they have to pick one bag or the other, and everything in it. We've somehow forgotten that we can question without betraying, that we can understand without believing, that we can reject a strategy without rejecting the person proposing it.
Because labels are easier. I'm x, so that means I support A, B, and C.
That shit is killing us.
And sometimes the mood is right (wrong) and my keyboard clatters as I rant and spew as reasonably as I possibly can. While my hackles raise and my inner bitch snarls. Gods, I want to let her off the chain.
I want to set the fire.
--
This has been my entry for Week 6 of therealljidol. The topic was "Heel Turn," which is a term for when the hero becomes a villain, or vice versa. Thanks for reading.