Where it's going to be
The future is fragile. Most shops have a sign - "You break it, you buy it." What do I need with a sign like that? You break a hundred futures every time you scratch your butt.
The future will cost you. I don't recommend it. Neither do I, by the way, guarantee it. In fact, with the future, you sign a purchase agreement. Zero customer satisfaction. No warranty. No refunds. I guarantee you will NOT be satisfied - and that's the only absolute I give about the future.
People buy it anyway. I wish they wouldn't. It's painful to watch. I mean actual pain.
The present is easy. You ask me about the present. It's a whole lot easier than, "What's your favorite color?" I never know how to answer that, because I like my plants to be green, but I wouldn't take a green steak for free, you know? Steak I like a little pink in the middle, but if my eyes are pink I'm probably itchy and uncomfortable. Plus, what do you care what my favorite color is? You making me a sweater? Gonna paint my bedroom? My favorite color means shit to you, where the present could save your life.
People think they know the present 'cause they live there. Here's a secret I'll give for free. Most people ain't living in the present. Doesn't matter two shits where their body is. Most people don't live inside their body either.
You walk into my shop and ask about the future, you sure as hell ain't living in the present. That's another freebie, as much good as it's doing. Pure fucking wisdom for free and you don't even hear it.
Waste your money then.
Here's how it works with the future.
First, you've gotta understand there are a lot of them, and the farther out you go the more they shift around.
When I look at the future, it's like a bunch of maps on glass, and they're all stacked up together. The things that are close in, like you throwing your money away for worthless information, are on most all of them, so the map lines up and it's easier to see. But past that, the maps go in different directions, so they fuzz up like the edges of a photograph, and they tangle like the bottom of a jewelry box, and with every thought you have or decision you make, they shift a little, so finding an answer on one of them is like catching the right snake in a nest.
And it gives me a headache, and sometimes I have to go sit in a dark room and listen to something with a constant rhythm--like a heartbeat or a clock ticking, or the music for Final Jeopardy--until I can stack the maps back up again.
That's what you're paying for. You're paying me for the headache and the time and frustration, because the information I bring back to you is worthless.
But I see you're going to buy it anyway.
sigh
Ok, what do you want to know?
---
This has been my entry for Week 4 of therealljidol. The prompt was, “I don't skate to where the puck is. I skate to where the puck is going to be." Thanks for reading!
The future will cost you. I don't recommend it. Neither do I, by the way, guarantee it. In fact, with the future, you sign a purchase agreement. Zero customer satisfaction. No warranty. No refunds. I guarantee you will NOT be satisfied - and that's the only absolute I give about the future.
People buy it anyway. I wish they wouldn't. It's painful to watch. I mean actual pain.
The present is easy. You ask me about the present. It's a whole lot easier than, "What's your favorite color?" I never know how to answer that, because I like my plants to be green, but I wouldn't take a green steak for free, you know? Steak I like a little pink in the middle, but if my eyes are pink I'm probably itchy and uncomfortable. Plus, what do you care what my favorite color is? You making me a sweater? Gonna paint my bedroom? My favorite color means shit to you, where the present could save your life.
People think they know the present 'cause they live there. Here's a secret I'll give for free. Most people ain't living in the present. Doesn't matter two shits where their body is. Most people don't live inside their body either.
You walk into my shop and ask about the future, you sure as hell ain't living in the present. That's another freebie, as much good as it's doing. Pure fucking wisdom for free and you don't even hear it.
Waste your money then.
Here's how it works with the future.
First, you've gotta understand there are a lot of them, and the farther out you go the more they shift around.
When I look at the future, it's like a bunch of maps on glass, and they're all stacked up together. The things that are close in, like you throwing your money away for worthless information, are on most all of them, so the map lines up and it's easier to see. But past that, the maps go in different directions, so they fuzz up like the edges of a photograph, and they tangle like the bottom of a jewelry box, and with every thought you have or decision you make, they shift a little, so finding an answer on one of them is like catching the right snake in a nest.
And it gives me a headache, and sometimes I have to go sit in a dark room and listen to something with a constant rhythm--like a heartbeat or a clock ticking, or the music for Final Jeopardy--until I can stack the maps back up again.
That's what you're paying for. You're paying me for the headache and the time and frustration, because the information I bring back to you is worthless.
But I see you're going to buy it anyway.
sigh
Ok, what do you want to know?
---
This has been my entry for Week 4 of therealljidol. The prompt was, “I don't skate to where the puck is. I skate to where the puck is going to be." Thanks for reading!