Fic: Paradise Lost part 3
Title: Paradise Lost
Rating: T
Summary: A meandering random look at the relationship between Patric Jane and Grace Van Pelt done in eight parts
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Notes: Written for the mentalist_bb reverse bang. I had the pleasure of working with tromana on this. Here is her lovely art, link to the songs that inspired each of the parts coming soon. The second song, and the second part of our tale, is "Salvation" by Gabrielle Aplin.
part 2
Salvation - Gabrielle Aplin
The first thing he said when she opened the door was “I'm sorry.” And then he pushed his way into her apartment.
What are you doing here? Was what she had wanted to ask, but never got the words out before he started talking.
“I'm sorry that I couldn't help you hide your relationship longer. I'm sorry that I didn't try. I’m sorry that I still care for you, that I’ve always cared for you, that I think I love you. Since that first case when you checked your luggage and wore your old letterman jacket. I tried to ignore it because that’s what I do. But I couldn’t.”
“Jane?” She was confused, and rightly so. This was the last thing she had expected when she saw him through the peephole in her door. The tears that she had shed for Rigsby were still fresh on her cheeks, and this was not what she had expected.
“I wanted what you had with Rigsby to work because I wanted you to be happy. I wanted nothing more than to see you smile.”
“You’re a jerk.” Anger was quickly becoming the overriding emotion in the tumult that was her soul.
“I know.” He stood there watching her and visibly deflated, so unlike what she was used to. “That day on the beach, I knew I was lost. Then, that one time in that one town…and it was wrong. It was the wrong decision to make. I should have gone to Lisbon, or sat alone. And you should have gone to Rigsby that night. I should have pushed you away. But I’m selfish. I always have been. I wanted you, even if it was for just a moment.”
She remembered that night but anger was still bringing under the surface. Jane pushed and pulled and manipulated everything, everyone, for his pleasure. He thought he could control her, her life, the people she loved.
“Go to hell.” She turned her back on him and walked into her bedroom. He could see himself out.
“I can’t leave. Because you are still crying over a man who’s not good enough for you and I can’t stand to see you cry.”
She stood by her bed, sighed, and turned to face him where he stood in the doorway. “Why, Jane? Why now? Why at all?”
“I don’t have much to live for.” He looked at the floor and rubbed a hand through his hair. “But you why I come to work. Why I pick over your choice of dates. Why I cared at all about the man who later tried to kill us both. I want the best for you because your smile and trusting nature keep me coming back.”
She turned to face him, her eyes still bright with tears. “I can’t do this tonight Jane. Please just leave.”
And against all odds, he did just that.
part 4
Rating: T
Summary: A meandering random look at the relationship between Patric Jane and Grace Van Pelt done in eight parts
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Notes: Written for the mentalist_bb reverse bang. I had the pleasure of working with tromana on this. Here is her lovely art, link to the songs that inspired each of the parts coming soon. The second song, and the second part of our tale, is "Salvation" by Gabrielle Aplin.
part 2
Salvation - Gabrielle Aplin
The first thing he said when she opened the door was “I'm sorry.” And then he pushed his way into her apartment.
What are you doing here? Was what she had wanted to ask, but never got the words out before he started talking.
“I'm sorry that I couldn't help you hide your relationship longer. I'm sorry that I didn't try. I’m sorry that I still care for you, that I’ve always cared for you, that I think I love you. Since that first case when you checked your luggage and wore your old letterman jacket. I tried to ignore it because that’s what I do. But I couldn’t.”
“Jane?” She was confused, and rightly so. This was the last thing she had expected when she saw him through the peephole in her door. The tears that she had shed for Rigsby were still fresh on her cheeks, and this was not what she had expected.
“I wanted what you had with Rigsby to work because I wanted you to be happy. I wanted nothing more than to see you smile.”
“You’re a jerk.” Anger was quickly becoming the overriding emotion in the tumult that was her soul.
“I know.” He stood there watching her and visibly deflated, so unlike what she was used to. “That day on the beach, I knew I was lost. Then, that one time in that one town…and it was wrong. It was the wrong decision to make. I should have gone to Lisbon, or sat alone. And you should have gone to Rigsby that night. I should have pushed you away. But I’m selfish. I always have been. I wanted you, even if it was for just a moment.”
She remembered that night but anger was still bringing under the surface. Jane pushed and pulled and manipulated everything, everyone, for his pleasure. He thought he could control her, her life, the people she loved.
“Go to hell.” She turned her back on him and walked into her bedroom. He could see himself out.
“I can’t leave. Because you are still crying over a man who’s not good enough for you and I can’t stand to see you cry.”
She stood by her bed, sighed, and turned to face him where he stood in the doorway. “Why, Jane? Why now? Why at all?”
“I don’t have much to live for.” He looked at the floor and rubbed a hand through his hair. “But you why I come to work. Why I pick over your choice of dates. Why I cared at all about the man who later tried to kill us both. I want the best for you because your smile and trusting nature keep me coming back.”
She turned to face him, her eyes still bright with tears. “I can’t do this tonight Jane. Please just leave.”
And against all odds, he did just that.
part 4