(no subject)
I have spent the last two days in bed. Why? Because I am, in fact, in a big mess. I don't know why I do the things I do sometimes. There is no excuse for me. Well, I mean.. I know why I do them, but why would I take that chance and hurt someone for a one night thing every other week? I don't even LIKE him.. he's engaged. I know it's never going anywhere. I don't want it to. If anything it makes me feel like shit and I don't like feeling like that. Can't I just be loved for once? I don't want to end anything... I just want things to go back to normal. I want to be the girl here that he can talk to, and that he "needs" while he's readjusting..Gosh I look at all my old journal entries and I laugh because all those guys I thought I once was in love with... I barely think about anymore. It's funny how much you can change in just a couple of years.. and how much one person can change your outlook on things. I am in a lot of pain today too. I'm pretty sure I need surgery again. School starts back up tomorrow. I have work to do.