it hurts because it should.
this feeling is horrible. i can't describe it. it feels like a part of my heart is literally missing. and when i am not thinking about the constant pain, i don't feel it. but as soon as i let myself get distracted, my mind wanders to him and the pain is almost unbearable. it was honestly the hardest thing i have ever had to do. it was the worst experience of my life. i wish he would have just died at home. i wish it would have been of his own doing, not ours. i know we did the right thing. or at least i keep telling myself we did. i know that he isn't hurting anymore, but i am. and that's selfish and i know that. but this hurts.
i'm sorry we couldn't save you, dewey. i hope your life with us was as good as you made ours.