(no subject)
Things have been a bit blah the past few days. My cold has mostly cleared up, just an excess of mucus in the back of my throat all the time now. I'm dealing. When it's not making me cough so hard I tear something. But mostly it's okay.
I've had a few times when that awful pressure/pain thing has come back (it's been here all day but it's not unbearable yet.). I'm pretty certain it's the weather which means there's nothing I can do about it. I don't have enough Endone left to take one every time it flares up and I don't think the doc will give me muscle relaxers even though they are often used for Fibro overseas. If it was just as I was coming off the morphine patches I'd blame those but it's well over 2 weeks now, close to three so I'm pretty certain I'm over the withdrawals, such as they are with patches.
The irritating thing is that even though it's been about 5 years since I've been on benzos I still feel the need to take Clonazapam when it happens. It's basically very similar to the feeling when I was even 20 mins late on taking my next dose of that. Like everything hurts and I need to stretch it all but it means I stretch my joints past the point where they should be just to relieve some of the pain by causing other pain and it's all fucked up. I have Clonazapam in the draw but I'm not meant to take it any more. I know it's not good for me and I know it's fucking hell to get off of it once you start so I'm not taking them but god I want to. *sits on hands*
Yseterday I dragged myself out of bed and showered as I'd been meaning to all week and hadn't been up to it and I really needed to. R hadn't slept at night so she slept until 5pm and then had a shower when she got up. Thankfully as when I dragged my arse off the chair to go and make dinner we found no water coming out of the tap. >_<
I checked the fuse box and nothing was blown and I checked the pump and it had a failure light on. Arg. I made dinner using the gravity fed tap from the top tank and had to boil the kettle to get some hot water for washing up etc.
We don't actually flush the toilet when we pee and we can tip buckets of water into the cistern when we do need to flush it so we managed overnight and Steve came over to have a look at it today. He did manage to get it going by taking the cover off and manually starting it moving but as soon as the pump stopped you had to do it again.
He did say that there are decent pumps at Bunnings for $100 though. We had to go shopping today anyway as Ruth has been out of meds for a couple of days so we went in and bought one. Hopefully Ruth's mum and uncle can help us pay for it.
Steve is going to install it tomorrow. Bit worried (not about him installing it, he was a plumber and has done most of the plumbing work in the village) because he had a knee op last year and he's not meant to do the plumbing stuff any more. Getting down on his knees is the problem. Don't want him to hurt himself but otherwise we'd have to wait for Ruth's uncle to come up from Penrith. Calling in a plumber would involve them driving 3 hours out of their way so that's really not going to be cheap.
So it was a big day today but we got the pump, the meds we needed and some shopping. We didn't have time to eat properly before we left and knew it was going to be around 8pm before we got home so after getting veg and the pump we went to Annie's Icecream and got a bacon sandwich and a thickshake made from caramel and choc-chip icecream. Fucking incredible. I really, really have to find out where they and the fish and chip shop get their gluten free bread. It's amazing. The stuff we're making lately is pretty good but it's very much a brown bread flavour. This is a white bread roll that I swear is made with crack given how much I want to eat them.
Now it's 9pm and despite us usually getting to sleep some time after day break of late I think we'll be heading to bed soon. It's freezing and we didn't get wood up before we left and it's too dark now. The electric blankets are on so bed should be warm at least. I'll just read for a while. I've read so much XMFC fic the past couple of days. So much angst and porn and crack.
It's cold now but today was rather warm and we've had a lot of nights where I've not been able to have the quilt on because it's getting too warm. The cherry plums and cherries are flowering. Spring is here. I'm really going to miss winter. I love it. I'm so glad we have four seasons here. On the coast it was only really two. Hot and wet or coldish and dry. We actually get spring and autumn here.
Anyway, off to bed now with Your Heart's A Mess by Goyte stuck in my head because there is a fucking awesome Charles/Erik vid to it. I can't rewatch it though because the browser crashed and it wont load again until we click over into the next month. Two days until our usual crappy internet which is much better than being capped. Another whole month and a half until we can get to Sydney and download shit though.
Pick apart the pieces of your heart
Let me peer inside
Let me in where only your thoughts have been
Let me occupy your mind as you do mine
You've lost (too much love)
to fear, doubt, and distrust (not enough)
You just threw away the key (to your heart)
You don't get burned ('cause nothing gets through)
It makes it easier (easier on you)
That much more difficult for me
To make you see
Love ain't fair
So there you are, my love
Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you can't live like this
Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you, you can't live like this
Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you can't live like this
Love ain't safe
You won't get hurt if you stay chaste
So you can wait
But I don't want to waste my love
I've had a few times when that awful pressure/pain thing has come back (it's been here all day but it's not unbearable yet.). I'm pretty certain it's the weather which means there's nothing I can do about it. I don't have enough Endone left to take one every time it flares up and I don't think the doc will give me muscle relaxers even though they are often used for Fibro overseas. If it was just as I was coming off the morphine patches I'd blame those but it's well over 2 weeks now, close to three so I'm pretty certain I'm over the withdrawals, such as they are with patches.
The irritating thing is that even though it's been about 5 years since I've been on benzos I still feel the need to take Clonazapam when it happens. It's basically very similar to the feeling when I was even 20 mins late on taking my next dose of that. Like everything hurts and I need to stretch it all but it means I stretch my joints past the point where they should be just to relieve some of the pain by causing other pain and it's all fucked up. I have Clonazapam in the draw but I'm not meant to take it any more. I know it's not good for me and I know it's fucking hell to get off of it once you start so I'm not taking them but god I want to. *sits on hands*
Yseterday I dragged myself out of bed and showered as I'd been meaning to all week and hadn't been up to it and I really needed to. R hadn't slept at night so she slept until 5pm and then had a shower when she got up. Thankfully as when I dragged my arse off the chair to go and make dinner we found no water coming out of the tap. >_<
I checked the fuse box and nothing was blown and I checked the pump and it had a failure light on. Arg. I made dinner using the gravity fed tap from the top tank and had to boil the kettle to get some hot water for washing up etc.
We don't actually flush the toilet when we pee and we can tip buckets of water into the cistern when we do need to flush it so we managed overnight and Steve came over to have a look at it today. He did manage to get it going by taking the cover off and manually starting it moving but as soon as the pump stopped you had to do it again.
He did say that there are decent pumps at Bunnings for $100 though. We had to go shopping today anyway as Ruth has been out of meds for a couple of days so we went in and bought one. Hopefully Ruth's mum and uncle can help us pay for it.
Steve is going to install it tomorrow. Bit worried (not about him installing it, he was a plumber and has done most of the plumbing work in the village) because he had a knee op last year and he's not meant to do the plumbing stuff any more. Getting down on his knees is the problem. Don't want him to hurt himself but otherwise we'd have to wait for Ruth's uncle to come up from Penrith. Calling in a plumber would involve them driving 3 hours out of their way so that's really not going to be cheap.
So it was a big day today but we got the pump, the meds we needed and some shopping. We didn't have time to eat properly before we left and knew it was going to be around 8pm before we got home so after getting veg and the pump we went to Annie's Icecream and got a bacon sandwich and a thickshake made from caramel and choc-chip icecream. Fucking incredible. I really, really have to find out where they and the fish and chip shop get their gluten free bread. It's amazing. The stuff we're making lately is pretty good but it's very much a brown bread flavour. This is a white bread roll that I swear is made with crack given how much I want to eat them.
Now it's 9pm and despite us usually getting to sleep some time after day break of late I think we'll be heading to bed soon. It's freezing and we didn't get wood up before we left and it's too dark now. The electric blankets are on so bed should be warm at least. I'll just read for a while. I've read so much XMFC fic the past couple of days. So much angst and porn and crack.
It's cold now but today was rather warm and we've had a lot of nights where I've not been able to have the quilt on because it's getting too warm. The cherry plums and cherries are flowering. Spring is here. I'm really going to miss winter. I love it. I'm so glad we have four seasons here. On the coast it was only really two. Hot and wet or coldish and dry. We actually get spring and autumn here.
Anyway, off to bed now with Your Heart's A Mess by Goyte stuck in my head because there is a fucking awesome Charles/Erik vid to it. I can't rewatch it though because the browser crashed and it wont load again until we click over into the next month. Two days until our usual crappy internet which is much better than being capped. Another whole month and a half until we can get to Sydney and download shit though.
Pick apart the pieces of your heart
Let me peer inside
Let me in where only your thoughts have been
Let me occupy your mind as you do mine
You've lost (too much love)
to fear, doubt, and distrust (not enough)
You just threw away the key (to your heart)
You don't get burned ('cause nothing gets through)
It makes it easier (easier on you)
That much more difficult for me
To make you see
Love ain't fair
So there you are, my love
Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you can't live like this
Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you, you can't live like this
Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you can't live like this
Love ain't safe
You won't get hurt if you stay chaste
So you can wait
But I don't want to waste my love