A few weeks ago I went to an SCA event in Gwyntarian called Road to the Isles. The theme was, not surprisingly, the British Isles, and there was a bardic competition prominently featured. It was the most fun SCA event I've been to in years
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That's why sometimes you need to find yourself a small event. Something off the beaten path or opposite one of the major events. That's where you'll still find a lot of the relaxed attitudes that you're looking for.
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