The Breakfast Nazis Strike Back
Those who know me know that a few weeks back I had an issue in which an anonymous person or persons (hereafter known as The Breakfast Nazis for reasons that will quickly become obvious) decreed that I was causing problems in the office at work because - horror of horrors - I made breakfast that had (gasp) bacon in it, and they could smell the bacon.
Being the quiet, conciliatory person I am I did not succumb to my initial impulse to cook sardines with parmesan cheese and extra garlic for breakfast instead. Aside from anything else, it would have gone straight in the trash. I adopted a different method of fixing my breakfast so that I'd still get my high-protein start of the day (while working, I might add) without causing anyone any heartburn.
Alas, my efforts were not enough. It appears that a kitchen that actually smells of food is in fact anathema to the Breakfast Nazis, for they have complained once more unto the sensitive ears of HR, who have promptly asked me to stop making the kitchen smell like food in the morning.
I can accept that there are those who are for whatever the reason unable to face more than coffee in the mornings. I'm not blocking anyone's access to the coffee pots. Nor do I complain about bad-movie-theater-smell instant popcorn, peculiar fish lunches, or any other strange smells emerging from the kitchen during the day - and I sit closest to the room, so anything that's cooking there gets to my nose first. I deal with it.
So, what is quiet, inoffensive little me to do? The prospect of slipping shrimp shells under the coke machine is tempting, but I'd have to live with the stink too. If I cook it at home and reheat at work it won't smell any different. If I cook and eat at home, my chances of getting to work on time drop to somewhere in the vicinity of absolute zero (I know that sounds weird, but it works like this: I'm narcoleptic and I have a lot of trouble getting moving in the morning. I don't actually start to wake up until after I've dragged out of bed, dressed, collected bits and pieces for work, made the ten minute walk in, and fixed and eaten breakfast. If I have breakfast at home, chances are I'll fall asleep while eating it. Just try to get THAT past the ADA.). As is, I spend the first half hour at work up and moving around just to finish waking up. Anything that involves sitting down not doing anything much in that time will be a problem.
I really do not want to move to nukable pizza (although I'll admit it would be entertaining to have the Breakfast Nazis complain about bacon when there isn't any) or to have a lighter breakfast. Nor do I want to set off a tit-for-tat complaint war. I'd rather make the Breakfast Nazis look stupid somehow.
Suggestions are welcomed - preferably before I blow my stack and start making sarcastic comments about how people who don't have the balls to address something this frigging trivial face to face have no right to make anonymous complaints.
Kate