kitanaor nudged me so ok
School's fine. I love catching babies but I worry about finding a job in the Seattle area after I graduate. I'm going to a conference in San Antonio next week that I'm pretty excited about.
The situation with Tex and I is...tumultuous. I wrote a letter to Dan Savage today that's how tumultuous it is. It is as follows:
Dear Dan,
I'm a 27-year-old woman and I've been in a relationship with a 33-year-old man for a little over a year now. I've never felt more compatible with anyone. We spend every spare moment together and I'm in love with him. My problem: we don't have sex. No, I'm not like other whiner heterosexuals in long term relationships complaining that the sex has petered out or isn't crazy and kinky anymore. We've never had sex.
When we first got together my boyfriend had a pretty significant umbilical hernia about which he was very shy. Ok. We'd make out a little bit, he'd leave his shirt on, we even would engage in some fingering. I thought once he'd gotten comfortable with me things would get better. After all, he'd had many girlfriends before me. It's not like he's a virgin. I asked why we hadn't had sex. He said that he wanted to wait. He'd never waited before and felt like he'd missed on the stronger emotional connection that should happen in a relationship. Besides, he was uncomfortable with his own body. Months passed.
Boyfriend was losing his job and his health insurance and so decided that he would finally get his hernia fixed. Told me that he'd never trusted anyone to take care of him before and because he'd met me he knew it was time. I was honored and also excited that maybe after he'd healed from his surgery he would finally feel comfortable enough to get naked with me and get it on.
Surgery went well. He healed and I waited patiently. More months passed.
With my the territory of my vagina still having gone uncharted, and having been together for about 9 months I broached the subject again. "No, be patient, let's wait. I've felt like I've rushed into sex too quickly in the past. Just give me more time." Wtf? More time? And yet I waited. I'm finishing up a rigorous master's program and while we spend every night together I'm often tired and go to bed much earlier than he does. I thought he'd come around and besides, I had other things to think about.
Last night I was sitting in front of his computer and did the most egregious of sins. I snooped. I of course regret it. He'd been sending dirty emails with a female companion with whom I'm not acquainted. In the 10 seconds I spent scanning his sent mail, I saw it had happened a couple of times. both while I was out of town for a few days.
I confronted my boyfriend not about the dirty emails but about what the flying fuck is going on. I asked him if he loved me. I asked him if this was working for him. He told me that he's only been in love twice and it took him years to find that out. He told me he doesn't know if I'm "the right one" to finally have a relationship *and* sex. He says he doesn't wan to have sex with anyone right now. He says that he's been a manslut in the past and it made him feel cheap. He told me about the pregnancy scare with the last girlfriend. He told me that he and another girlfriend had to terminate a pregnancy ten years ago. He told me he doesn't want me to leave. He wants to me to be (even more) patient and just wait to "see what unfolds." I'm broken-hearted, Dan. I feel betrayed and angry.
If we had just been having sex this entire time I probably would have overlooked the emails as a symptom of my not being around to take care of his desires while I was out of town. But the dirty emails at the same time as he wasn't having any sort of dirty time with me leave me hurt and feeling stupid for loving someone who seems like they're keeping me around for someone to cuddle with and watch tv but not someone with whom someone wants to have hot sex and (someday) make babies.
If this were one of my girlfriends writing me this mess I would've been screaming "DTMFA! DTMFA!" by paragraph two but when it's our own situation and it's your heart and emotions you hope that there's a different solution. Is there, Dan? Is there a different solution other than DTMFA?
Celibate Girlfriend
Sometimes I make poor decisions.
The situation with Tex and I is...tumultuous. I wrote a letter to Dan Savage today that's how tumultuous it is. It is as follows:
Dear Dan,
I'm a 27-year-old woman and I've been in a relationship with a 33-year-old man for a little over a year now. I've never felt more compatible with anyone. We spend every spare moment together and I'm in love with him. My problem: we don't have sex. No, I'm not like other whiner heterosexuals in long term relationships complaining that the sex has petered out or isn't crazy and kinky anymore. We've never had sex.
When we first got together my boyfriend had a pretty significant umbilical hernia about which he was very shy. Ok. We'd make out a little bit, he'd leave his shirt on, we even would engage in some fingering. I thought once he'd gotten comfortable with me things would get better. After all, he'd had many girlfriends before me. It's not like he's a virgin. I asked why we hadn't had sex. He said that he wanted to wait. He'd never waited before and felt like he'd missed on the stronger emotional connection that should happen in a relationship. Besides, he was uncomfortable with his own body. Months passed.
Boyfriend was losing his job and his health insurance and so decided that he would finally get his hernia fixed. Told me that he'd never trusted anyone to take care of him before and because he'd met me he knew it was time. I was honored and also excited that maybe after he'd healed from his surgery he would finally feel comfortable enough to get naked with me and get it on.
Surgery went well. He healed and I waited patiently. More months passed.
With my the territory of my vagina still having gone uncharted, and having been together for about 9 months I broached the subject again. "No, be patient, let's wait. I've felt like I've rushed into sex too quickly in the past. Just give me more time." Wtf? More time? And yet I waited. I'm finishing up a rigorous master's program and while we spend every night together I'm often tired and go to bed much earlier than he does. I thought he'd come around and besides, I had other things to think about.
Last night I was sitting in front of his computer and did the most egregious of sins. I snooped. I of course regret it. He'd been sending dirty emails with a female companion with whom I'm not acquainted. In the 10 seconds I spent scanning his sent mail, I saw it had happened a couple of times. both while I was out of town for a few days.
I confronted my boyfriend not about the dirty emails but about what the flying fuck is going on. I asked him if he loved me. I asked him if this was working for him. He told me that he's only been in love twice and it took him years to find that out. He told me he doesn't know if I'm "the right one" to finally have a relationship *and* sex. He says he doesn't wan to have sex with anyone right now. He says that he's been a manslut in the past and it made him feel cheap. He told me about the pregnancy scare with the last girlfriend. He told me that he and another girlfriend had to terminate a pregnancy ten years ago. He told me he doesn't want me to leave. He wants to me to be (even more) patient and just wait to "see what unfolds." I'm broken-hearted, Dan. I feel betrayed and angry.
If we had just been having sex this entire time I probably would have overlooked the emails as a symptom of my not being around to take care of his desires while I was out of town. But the dirty emails at the same time as he wasn't having any sort of dirty time with me leave me hurt and feeling stupid for loving someone who seems like they're keeping me around for someone to cuddle with and watch tv but not someone with whom someone wants to have hot sex and (someday) make babies.
If this were one of my girlfriends writing me this mess I would've been screaming "DTMFA! DTMFA!" by paragraph two but when it's our own situation and it's your heart and emotions you hope that there's a different solution. Is there, Dan? Is there a different solution other than DTMFA?
Celibate Girlfriend
Sometimes I make poor decisions.