sick of it
I'm losing my grip. I thought i was successful in getting over the lack of meds in my body, but that isn't proving to be correct. I feel that I'm losing the battle. I keep on doing searches of overdosing and what the statistics are. I don't want to make a failed attempt again. I just want to do it right. If I could, I would take as little as possible to get the job done. I just want to do that so it doesn't look like it was intentional. I only wish I could come up with an accidental fatal dosage. I don't want to hurt the people that care, but I don't want to live. I'm a fucking mess and I really want death. Death, death death. the only thing I've ever been completely sure about and I can't attain it. What a loser I am