Useless fuckwits!!
The latest in the saga of the toddler group accusation is that I'm going to have to look for a new playgroup, sooner rather than later.
I eventually got through to the organiser, who was really nice about it, seemed to understand where I was coming from about addressing the issue from a more general point of view about parenting and trusting in group situations, rather than bringing up the ugly accusation again. She said she'd try and speak to the women involved, and would say something to the whole group at singing time this week. I took this as a positive step, and felt better.
Singing time this week rolls around, and there's no attempt to talk to the group from the organiser, and I found it impossible to catch her eye.
Then as we were clearing up she caught me and said that she'd spoken to the other mother involved, and she really wanted to drop it, and as the two main other accusers weren't there (one was actually) they'd decided to do nothing and let it all blow over.
I don't give a flying fuck whether the other mother wants to drop it or not - she's not the one that's been made to bloody suffer for all of this. If this playgroup was run properly, they'd have found some method of healing for the group, and proper redress for the slandering that went on.
As it is, I now feel that I was placated enough into not standing up myself and saying something - which is what I'd have done if I'd had known that they weren't going to do anything - and they never planned to do anything in the first place. I feel fobbed off, and still very hurt and very angry.
Nick is furious, and says he's going to ring the organiser himself and forcefully put over his exact views (hopefully minus the profanity) to her about how I've been treated on all of this. I don't know whether it'll do any good (I suspect not), but if it makes him feel better, he can but try. My methods have all failed, so I'm open to anyone else having a go.
The horrible thing is, Nushie and the same child had another tussle this week over a high chair - and I felt I couldn't go in and separate them. I had to get my friend L to do so, and felt horrendously uncomfortable. Similarly, when a baby fell over near me, I really felt like I couldn't stick out a hand to stop him hurting himself for a few seconds (eventually I did catch him), and as if I can't touch another child in that room.
Unless something is done, I'm in the market for another playgroup. I'm not sitting there week after week feeling like I can't take an active part in a group.
I eventually got through to the organiser, who was really nice about it, seemed to understand where I was coming from about addressing the issue from a more general point of view about parenting and trusting in group situations, rather than bringing up the ugly accusation again. She said she'd try and speak to the women involved, and would say something to the whole group at singing time this week. I took this as a positive step, and felt better.
Singing time this week rolls around, and there's no attempt to talk to the group from the organiser, and I found it impossible to catch her eye.
Then as we were clearing up she caught me and said that she'd spoken to the other mother involved, and she really wanted to drop it, and as the two main other accusers weren't there (one was actually) they'd decided to do nothing and let it all blow over.
I don't give a flying fuck whether the other mother wants to drop it or not - she's not the one that's been made to bloody suffer for all of this. If this playgroup was run properly, they'd have found some method of healing for the group, and proper redress for the slandering that went on.
As it is, I now feel that I was placated enough into not standing up myself and saying something - which is what I'd have done if I'd had known that they weren't going to do anything - and they never planned to do anything in the first place. I feel fobbed off, and still very hurt and very angry.
Nick is furious, and says he's going to ring the organiser himself and forcefully put over his exact views (hopefully minus the profanity) to her about how I've been treated on all of this. I don't know whether it'll do any good (I suspect not), but if it makes him feel better, he can but try. My methods have all failed, so I'm open to anyone else having a go.
The horrible thing is, Nushie and the same child had another tussle this week over a high chair - and I felt I couldn't go in and separate them. I had to get my friend L to do so, and felt horrendously uncomfortable. Similarly, when a baby fell over near me, I really felt like I couldn't stick out a hand to stop him hurting himself for a few seconds (eventually I did catch him), and as if I can't touch another child in that room.
Unless something is done, I'm in the market for another playgroup. I'm not sitting there week after week feeling like I can't take an active part in a group.