"Off we go into the wild blue yonder...."
Well it's that time.
Tomorrow I head over to MEPS and the day after basic training begins.
Now I am excited by whats going to happen but I can't help but feel a bit fearful.
I know that many thousands of Airman have come before me and that they were all in this "Oh dear god what have I got myself into" type mindset and I have it too. It's not the screaming that gets me or the whole having to wake up at 5 am. The thing that will get me the most is the emphasis on detail. I was never a very neat guy but with my TI that will change quickly.
I have to also admit I'm scared. I'll be on my own, all alone save for three guys I know from Greenville and the other 50 guys I'll be grouped with. Although it's not all bad they will be just as scared as me and yet we'll want to prove that we have what it takes to be called "Airman."
I also have come to see the Air Force to represent escape from various forms of pain. Be it Oniko, my mom or even the close minded religious zealots that seem to be everywhere I look. But I also do have a few reasons why I want to be in the Air Force. The main being Oniko, ironic isn't it? I wish to protect the one that caused me the most pain. Ahh well thats but only one of the few reasons why I joined. I want to protect my "family" like Oniko, the GBLT community itself, Henry (even though he lives in Canada ^.^) Kim, Fala and the rest of you that I call friends.
So what will this next six weeks of training teach me? More than anything I'll learn how to handle stress better and more about what kind of person I am. Still I've had a good life as a civilian and I don't regret the decisions I made but something is telling me that I have to go through this to grow as a person and as an individual. But the bigger question I have is, will I still be "me" or will I just be their version of "me" will I still value the same ideals, have the same likes, etc.
Ah well maybe it's best not to dwell on these subjects. Anyway, whatever comes next I say bring it on.
Tomorrow I head over to MEPS and the day after basic training begins.
Now I am excited by whats going to happen but I can't help but feel a bit fearful.
I know that many thousands of Airman have come before me and that they were all in this "Oh dear god what have I got myself into" type mindset and I have it too. It's not the screaming that gets me or the whole having to wake up at 5 am. The thing that will get me the most is the emphasis on detail. I was never a very neat guy but with my TI that will change quickly.
I have to also admit I'm scared. I'll be on my own, all alone save for three guys I know from Greenville and the other 50 guys I'll be grouped with. Although it's not all bad they will be just as scared as me and yet we'll want to prove that we have what it takes to be called "Airman."
I also have come to see the Air Force to represent escape from various forms of pain. Be it Oniko, my mom or even the close minded religious zealots that seem to be everywhere I look. But I also do have a few reasons why I want to be in the Air Force. The main being Oniko, ironic isn't it? I wish to protect the one that caused me the most pain. Ahh well thats but only one of the few reasons why I joined. I want to protect my "family" like Oniko, the GBLT community itself, Henry (even though he lives in Canada ^.^) Kim, Fala and the rest of you that I call friends.
So what will this next six weeks of training teach me? More than anything I'll learn how to handle stress better and more about what kind of person I am. Still I've had a good life as a civilian and I don't regret the decisions I made but something is telling me that I have to go through this to grow as a person and as an individual. But the bigger question I have is, will I still be "me" or will I just be their version of "me" will I still value the same ideals, have the same likes, etc.
Ah well maybe it's best not to dwell on these subjects. Anyway, whatever comes next I say bring it on.